From Darkness to Sunrise
by gopherbroke
Summary: In Progress. What would happen if Carlisle also had a reaction to Bella that he couldn't control? Bella may feel it too. It's an entirely different world as two souls finally find each other in the most surprising of circumstances. Can they overcome the obstacles and struggles that are thrown their way in order to be together? M rating in many future chapters. AU CxB
1. Chapter 1 Brick Walls in the ER

Author's Note:

It's been awhile since I have thought of writing a fanfiction but I have recently become kinda... obsessed with the thought of the carlisle/bella pairing. It's soooo hawt. ^.^! Anyways... I have been playing around with this for awhile, and only recently started getting motivated. So here it is. Please please please tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. But the mental images of Carlisle are all mine. lol.

**Chapter One. Brick Walls in the ER Can Be Distracting. **

Carlisle's Point of View

London, England 1664

The torch slipped in my sweaty palm as I rounded another corner and thundered down another flight of stone stairs.

"This way!" I shouted to the crowd of skeptical people behind me.

The tunnels grew darker and the smell… oh god the smell. I was used to unpleasant smells having lived in 17th century London my whole life. The raw excrement smell was both familiar and repulsive but this smell… was like rotting dry flesh; decayed ash that had belonged to the living. I covered my nose and continued onward. Maybe for once I would make my father proud. The darkness lightened slightly and the tight tunnel suddenly opened up to a wide cavernous room. I started more slowly now, each footstep echoing off the stone walls. The crowd behind me started whispering nervously. The air didn't feel right in here. It was far too cold. A rush of wind flew by me on my right, another blur to the left. Wind whipped right in front of me, hard enough to make my torch flicker out. We were plunged into blackness. Someone from my crowd screamed in terror.

After a few seconds my eyes adjusted. The group behind me was trembling. Someone let out a sob.

"Carlisle, let's get out of here…" one older man said. "We'll tell your father that we found a whole clan of vampires and we slayed them all." He stuttered a bit. "But let's leave now. Th-this place gives me the creeps."

I turned, ready to agree with him when a voice, as silk as satin and as cold as ice filled the wide stone hall.

"The creeps you say… Well. I do apologize that my home is not… to your taste."

A small chuckle followed and the whips of wind flew faster, each one stopping to reveal a dark cloaked figure. A dozen, maybe more of them surrounded us and we shuddered in fear. A shadow stopped directly before me, still chuckling. Slender white hands pulled back the cloak, revealing one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen. I gasped. The cavern light glimmered off of ruby eyes and he smiled.

"But I'm sure your taste will be quite satisfactory for me…"

He lunged at me. I moved my mouth to scream but his teeth sunk into my flesh before it could escape.

* * *

BEEDEEP BEEDEEP BEEDEEP.

_What?_

BEEDEEP BEEDEEP BEEDEEP.

_Oh…_

The pager beside me took me out of my meditation. The closest thing a vampire could have to sleep, to dreams. I closed my eyes again trying to find a happier memory, anything else but the brutality of my last human one. I slowed my breathing, deep and even, and focused my ears on the hum of the air around me.

BEEDEEP BEEDEEP BEEDEEP.

_Fuck. Fine. _

I sighed and gathered up my things. The on call room wasn't a very relaxing place anyway, but I had to keep up the appearance that I sleep. I adjusted my lab coat and walked out to the nurse's station.

The head nurse, Jessi, flushed when I approached.

_Haha. _

The attention over my vampiric good looks was flattering. Unwanted at times, but always flattering. Sometimes, when I'm having a bad day, I tease them back a bit. The way their blood flushes through them always amuses me. Cheeks, ears, palms, pussy… and usually in that order too. Jessi here flushed in between her legs immediately with one of my sideways smiles. After reliving that last memory it is now officially a bad day.

"Hey Jessi." I purred, turning my head to the side.

"Hello Dr. Cullen." She stammered. I let her stare into my gold eyes a second longer. I smiled.

_Hehe. There it is. _

"You paged me?"

"Yea… ummm…" She looked down at her paperwork. "Chief Swan and his daughter are here. Apparently she was in some sort of car accident. Your son Edward is also involved."

I straightened, smile vanished.

"What are the injuries?" I asked, grabbing the chart from the desk.

"None." I sighed, relieved. "Except for another student who has a minor head injury, but he is being attended to."

I began to stride towards the ER.

"Thanks Jessi…" I called over my shoulder.

"Anytime…Carlisle."

She said my name so softly I knew I wasn't supposed to hear. I sighed, shook my head and pushed open the doors to the ER.

The scent hit me like a fucking brick wall.

I felt my cock harden in my pants and my fingers gripped the clipboard so hard it cracked.

_What. The. Fuck. _

My 300 plus years of control and resolve were splintering as my nostrils flared, trying to take in as much of the scent as possible. It was arousing, overpowering. It was every taste, ever craving I ever wanted in my existence rolled into one erotic invasion of my senses. I wanted it. I needed it. And it was human.

I stood there, willing my erection to cease and tried not to breath, tried not to fill my body with the fragrance of heaven. I debated whipping around and leaving but I heard Chief Swan's voice floating over the bustle of the emergency room. His tone was not happy. Grabbing a new clipboard from the wall, I replaced the paperwork and approached the Chief. I pulled back the curtain.

"Chief Swan…." I started.

There she was, sitting sideways on the hospital bed. Her well worn converse shoes dangled a few feet from the floor. Her frame was slight but her hips curved in a delicious way. She gazed up at me and I found myself drowning in a pool of chocolate eyes.

I drew in a sharp breath, forgetting that I had been trying not to breathe. My mind suddenly reeled.

She was the source.

"This must be your daughter Isabella…" I choked, trying not to reveal my turmoil. Or the growing length in my pants.

I only half listened as they explained what happened and I performed the routine checks. I wanted her. It took everything I had not to pounce on her and take her right there on the bed. To push myself into her while licking, nipping her throat where the intoxicating scent pulsed so rapidly.

"…and Edward was right there…"she continued. That brought me back down to earth. She was Edward's. She was the girl he had fallen for. She was the one who saved him from himself. To make him feel again. She was the one who brought him back to life.

_She was the one I could never have. _

"Well it was lucky he was there then." I stated, trying not to let the frustration sound in my voice. She stared up at me and bit her lip as I brushed her off. It turned white under the pressure and I wanted to lean in to kiss it, to bring the flush of blood back, to consume my mouth with her taste.

Instead I turned on my heel and left, my head aching for clarity and my body aching for release.

She is Edward's.

_She will never be mine._

_

* * *

_

Bella's Point of View.

I rubbed my wrist nervously, something I always did whenever I was waiting for a doctor. It started back when I was five and tripped while doing ballet. My wrist had broken beneath my fall and ever since, sitting for a doctor brought back the old haunting ache. Charlie was pacing at the end of the bed. He had already ripped Tyler a new one for almost hitting me with his van.

_Keyword almost. _

Edward had saved me instead, crushing the side of the van with his bare hand in the process.

_That seriously can't be normal. And why did he save me in the first place? And how the hell did he get to me from across the parking lot?_

All these questions would have to go unanswered. For now.

A nurse giggled faintly and I turned my head to see him pulling back my curtain. Dr. Cullen, his lab coat read. Carlisle… Edward's father? I stared up into his face as he spoke with Charlie. He was… absolutely gorgeous. He pale blonde hair was combed back, revealing smooth alabaster skin. His features were chiseled and strong and my eyes followed the firm line of his jaw, which connected with a thick muscular neck. His shoulders were broad and toned, the lab coat snug against his build.

_I wonder what the rest of him is like. _

I blushed as I caught his gaze. He held my eyes and I felt a flush of heat rush though my body. His eyes… golden and warm were steady and focused. His nostrils flared. Suddenly his eyes went dark and he looked as if he was going to lunge at me.

"This must be your daughter, Isabella…"he stated, never taking his eyes off mine.

I felt my heart beating, no thudding in my chest I as looked away from his topaz eyes. I started stammering, telling him about the accident; anything to keep me from losing myself in his intense gaze again. He seemed to recover as well and started his doctor checks. I told him about the van, Tyler, and the ice that caused it all. He nodded absently and started checking my reflexes.

I told him about how Edward saved me, how he moved from one end of the parking lot to the other in less than a second. How he stopped the van from crushing me. I hoped that he would reveal how his son behaved so inhumanly.

But at the mention of Edward he stiffened. He dropped his stethoscope and looked away.

"Well it was lucky he was there then." he murmured.

I caught his gaze then. He was completely different; his eyes now hostile. I bit my lip in thought.

_What could have caused the sudden change? Was it something I said? _

I say him staring at me… at my mouth to me more specific. He leaned forward slightly. My lips parted.

He mumbled something to the nurse and turned around, faster than I have ever seen. He headed out the door, nodding a farewell at Charlie as he passed. I sat there on the hospital bed, dumbfounded.

_What the hell just happened? That was the strangest encounter with the hottest doctor I have ever seen. _

Charlie filled out my discharge papers and I gathered my things, hopped off the bed and bolted out the door. I had to find Edward. I wanted an explanation for what had happened today. I walked down the hall at a ridiculously fast pace, the walls and passing people a blur.

Suddenly my feet flew out from beneath me as I tripped. Dammit not again. I grabbed the air desperate to find anything to keep me from face planting on the linoleum.

My fingers found fabric and I pulled, trying to stay upright. Strong arms found their way around me, stopping my collision with the floor. I was gently set down. The figure above me made a soft moan. My eyes focused and I found myself looking deep into the eyes of Dr. Cullen.

He looked at me, his eyes reflecting an expression I couldn't quite place. I felt his solid form above me and I moved my hand to his shoulder.

"Dr. Cullen…"I stammered.

"Isabella…"

"Please…call me Bella"

"Bella…"He whispered. "Call me Carlisle…"

Neither of us had made an effort to move. I let my hand slide downward to rest on his chest, marveling at the stone hard feeling of his frame.

That isn't the only thing that is rock hard, I noticed as I shifted my hips slightly. I blushed.

In less than a second he was on his feet, pulling his lab coat around his waist, an attempt to hide his arousal. He held his hand out, offering to help me up. I placed my hand in his. The jolt that ran through my fingers and up my arm made me shiver. He must have felt the same electric current because his eyes widened in surprise.

He swiftly pulled me to my feet. His eyes were dark again, almost savage as he stared into mine.

"Please try to be more careful Bella…" He slowly reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers gently trailing down my jaw.

I nodded slowly. His thumb brushed my lip. I forgot to breathe and felt my heart quicken. I felt heat rush to my core and I closed my eyes. A breeze fluttered against my face and he was gone, soaring down the hall.

I picked my bag up from where it had fallen on the floor and headed slowly to the lobby.

* * *

A/N: Annnnd that's the first chappie. Tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2: Catch me When I Fall

**Author's Note. **

Wow! Thanks so much for the amazing positive response! I wasn't expecting so many comments and faves! It really got me posting this next chapter sooner! Almost done with the next one too! Yay for motivation.

This chapter was a thrill to write. Nice and lemony.

Once again Twilight and characters aren't mine. Regrettfully.

Aaaaannnd go.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Catch Me When I Fall**

Carlisle's POV

I stood in the hall after leaving the ER and giving the nurse the discharge papers. I tried to clear my head of thoughts of her, trying to refocus my being to normality.

_Isabella Swan… What have you done to me?_

My eyes closed as I tried to think. My pocket buzzed faintly with an incoming text.

***Carlisle! I just had some absurd visions. We need to talk. You need to explain this. xAlicex***

Damn. So much for thinking this out. Alice. My psychic pixie of a daughter. Why does she have to know what's going to happen before I even know what to think for myself. I might as well head home and face whatever Alice had in store for me. She might at least be able to offer some insight as to what's going on. I quickly sent a reply.

***Alice. I'm just as confused as you. We will talk when I get home. On my way. Please keep this private for now. Carlisle***

I sighed and rubbed my temples. I haven't had a headache in over 300 years but I'd imagine I would have one now. I heard footsteps sounding briskly down the hall and turned to see her, beautiful Isabella passing by, determination set in her face. I saw the trip before she did and rushed to her side. I felt her pull on my lapel and I wrapped myself around her, relishing the feeling of her body tight against mine. I gently laid her safely on the ground. I couldn't help but moan at the sight of her body splayed out under mine, her soft mahogany hair haloing her head. Her thighs rested gently against my own. Her eyes finally met mine and she let out a small noise of surprise as she recognized me. I felt my arousal once again. I wanted to cover her skin with soft kisses, to bury my fingers in her hair and crush my body against hers.

Instead I stared into her eyes trying to steady the animal inside me.

"Dr. Cullen." She breathed. She placed her tiny hand on my shoulder and my body ignited beneath her touch.

"Isabella…"

"Please… call me Bella."

_Bella… my beautiful Bella. _

"Bella. Call me Carlisle." I said softly, wanting to hear my name fall from her lips. She shifted slightly beneath me, grazing against my painful erection.

I stood quickly, pulling my coat around myself.

It didn't matter anyways. I noticed a deep blush flood her cheeks. She must have already felt it. I offered her my hand to help her up. As soon as her fingers touched mine, a shock shuddered through my system, as if I had licked a live wire.

_I would rather lick her. _

I pulled her to her feet, longing to touch her, press her up against the wall and lose myself within her. Instead I tucked a silk strand of her hair behind her ear and allowed my hand to trail down her jaw line.

"Please try to be more careful Bella."

She nodded and my thumb gently brushed against her lip.

_Fuck. _

It was as soft and as delicate as a flower petal.

_I bet it would taste just as sweet. _

Her blood ran faster as her heart quickened and a new scent filled my nose. It was sweet and slightly peppery, but delectable and I wanted more. She closed her eyes and I realized what it was.

_Her arousal. Oh God. _

I had to leave now… if not I would ruin her.

If the hospital hadn't been flooded with humans, I would have run at vampiric speed. I had to get away, to put distance between me and the hallway that was saturated with Bella's scent.

I finally reached the side exit and inhaled deeply, filling my nose with clean air. Her scent still lingered. Dammit. She was all over my clothes, in my hair, on my skin. I closed my eyes, remembering the feel of her delicate body beneath me. The startled look in her eyes as she recognized who had caught her fall. The faint caress of her had on my shoulder.

The gentle push of her hips against my cock and the mouthwatering scent of her heat.

I growled in frustration as my pants grew even tighter.

This can't be happening. What the fuck is wrong with me? I've been a good man; I've saved lives, protected the innocent. I've found a decent way around this curse that made my body long for blood. And, up until now, I've been a great father and a loving… husband…

_Esme. _

My beautiful sweet adoring wife, Esme. I would do anything to keep her from being hurt. I can't be the reason for her heartbreak. I sighed heavily. Things have been tense between Esme and me for a few years now, ever since returning to Forks. She has become more distant and my long hours at the hospital have only widened the gap between us. But I cannot betray her. I have to keep myself and these… primitive instincts under control. I have to.

_I couldn't have her anyways… She was Edward's. _

I straightened, adjusted myself and headed back inside. I started towards the showers. I had to wash her scent off of me and put her out of my mind. The water was cold as it riveted down my body. I scrubbed each cell on my skin, sending all traces of her scent trickling down the drain. I finally started to relax as the clean soapy smell cleared my nose.

She was just a human. Just an attractive human female who happened to smell like euphoria. Who also happened to have the softest lips in the whole fucking world.

I shut off the shower and quickly got dressed. I needed to get home. I needed to escape into the comfort of my family and forget about Bella.

I have never driven my Mercedes faster than on that ride home.

The tires screeched in the garage and I sprinted up the stairs two at a time. The house was quiet, but not empty. I headed towards the bedroom belonging to me and Esme and saw her standing our large full length window.

"Carlisle! You're home early!"She said with a smile.

"Esme…" she rushed to my side and wound her arms around me.

"I missed you, my love." She said softly.

The guilt hit me harder than I expected as I held my wife's petite frame. Guilt that my thoughts betrayed our almost century long marriage. Guilt that I wanted, craved another woman so strongly. Guilt that never in our time spent together I have yearned for her the way I do for this human girl.

She purred softly against me and wrapped her arms around my neck, leaning up for a kiss. I obliged. As soon as my lips met hers I remembered the soft whisper of Bella's lips and the fragrance of her scent swarmed out of my memory. Suddenly it wasn't Esme's lips against my own, but Bella's. I groaned, burying my hands in her hair, kissing her feverishly. Esme gasped in my arms, breaking the kiss. I growled and pulled her lips to mine again, pushing her slowly to the bed.

"Carlisle…"she panted. "What's gotten into you?"

I silenced her with another kiss, slipping my tongue between her heart shaped lips. My hands slipped under her shirt, roaming over the cool soft skin. I wondered what Bella's skin would feel like, taste like. With a swift yank, her blouse ripped in two, buttons flying in all directions. She gasped under my desperate kisses.

"Carlisle!"

I couldn't blame her. Our lovemaking had always been slow, chaste and gentle. I have never taken her with the animalistic passion known to our kind. Out adopted vampire children, Rosalie and Emmett have destroyed many bedrooms, even a few houses with their fervor. Esme had hardly allowed me to rip up the sheets or crack a headboard, god forbid. But today my lust was unquenchable and my need for release too strong for me to care.

_All thanks to the tiny human who has taken over my every desire. _

My fingers traced over her creamy skin, stopping to unhook the small clasp of her bra. I pulled it off in one swift motion and sent it hurdling across the room. I trailed my kisses down her neck, nipping at the sensitive points on her skin. I roughly grabbed her breasts and took a hardened peak into my mouth, licking it and biting down harder than I should have. I growled in frustration. Her body, her scent was familiar and comforting, but not the satisfaction I craved.

I wanted Bella. I wanted it to be her sighing softly against me. I wanted it to be her body under my exploring hands. I wanted it to be her that I bury myself into.

With a push I sent her tumbling back on the bed. I hoped her skirt was replaceable because it too joined the shreds of fabric on the floor that was once her blouse. My own shirt was quickly discarded and my hands started to unbuckle my belt. Esme whimpered softly. I looked down at her, my eyes dark with lust. Her golden eyes reflected back at me, a range of emotions flickering through her gaze. Confusion, lust… fear. I stopped, my hands shaking slightly. I wouldn't hurt her like this…if she didn't want me this way then…

But her hands reached forward and finished removing my belt and all control was lost.

I lunged at her, discarding my pants in the process. I quickly ripped away the white lace panties and exposed her naked flesh. I dipped a cool finger inside her and she gasped. This would be where I would normally savor her and slowly take her to her climax but for the first time in 89 years, I only had my needs in mind. I pumped my hardened cock in my hand a couple of times in preparation and then buried myself in her. She was wet, hot and almost everything I needed.

_Almost. _

Bella's face slowly surfaced in my mind and I groaned. Esme's hands came to rest on my shoulder and I remembered the fiery caress of Bella's own hand in almost the same exact spot. I gripped Esme's hips roughly and started pushing, thrusting in and out, my cock hardening as I grew closer to release. Esme's soft mews turned to moans and I flipped her legs over my shoulders, sending myself in deeper. Her panting deepened with every thrust and I felt myself quickly reaching the edge. I closed my eyes and saw Bella writhing beneath me instead, her heartbeat rapid and the soft planes of her skin flushed with perspiration and pleasure.

_Fuuuuuuck. _

That was all it took. I groaned deeply and with a last final thrust I emptied myself into my wife, her walls around me clenching to take me all in as she too reached her pleasure. I bit my lip to stop myself from screaming out Bella's name, my teeth sinking in hard enough to sting my flesh with venom. I rode out my release until the stars slowly faded from my vision and everything refocused. My cock still twitched slightly, but I sighed in relief.

I was spent. All of today's frustration and desire was finally expelled from my body and I relaxed, pulling myself from Esme and falling back on the bed.

"Carlisle…" she said faintly. "What was that?"

I smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"Well my dear, I believe that's what they call a good hard fuck."

She smiled softly and stretched, curling her toes. "Well it was very… different, my love."

_My love…_

It wasn't a lie… I did love this wonderful woman who had made my existence in this half life worthwhile. But never in our time together had she made me feel as intensely as Bella has in the past two hours. I sighed and lifted myself off the bed, gathering my clothing. I handed Esme her robe, as her clothes were no longer wearable.

"I think I'll stay here a while longer… maybe read a bit…" she said as she slowly turned away from me.

I left the robe at the end of the bed for her and quickly redressed, picking up my iPhone off the floor. Time to face the consequences.

* * *

**A/N:**

sorry this chapter is shorter than the last. It was originally combined with the next one, but it was getting loooong. ;)

reviews are love. Sweet sweet carlisle love.


	3. Chapter 3 File Away Your Secrets

Author's Note:

Well to whomever reads these, I would like to make a few apologies. First off, I'm sorry it has been awhile since my last update. Life has been crazy, but I'm sure everyone says that. Secondly, I'm sorry this is such a short chapter. It was one that was harder to write and it's a little angsty. But the plot gods demand it. :) The next chapter is already written, I just have to type it up so it will be soooon!.Carlisle and Bella are seperated for a little bit, but don't worry... they will meet again. And it will make you sweat a little. ;)

Thank you so much for all the favorites and reviews! Without all of you this story wouldn't be here!

Disclaimer: All characters and twilighty references belong to stephanie meyer. The plot and evil things I make her characters do/think belong to me. :D

* * *

**Chapter 3. File Away Your Visions and Secrets.**

Carlisle's POV

I didn't need any special abilities to know that my phone was filled with texts from my persistent daughter. I smirked as I flicked through them. All 17 of them. My hand buzzed as a new one popped up on the screen.

***Carlisle! STOP CHECKING YOUR MESSAGES AND MEET ME IN YOUR STUDY! xAlicex* **

_Fine. _

I glanced at Esme as I left; her gaze was focused out the window. A book lay open in her lap, but her attention was elsewhere. I headed downstairs to the basement, where my study was quietly tucked away from the rest of the expansive estate. It was my favorite part of this house and I often retreated here to lose myself in the volumes of medical journals and history books. It was the only place in the house that Alice did not insist on decorating herself. I filled it with my own preference of earthy tones and natural dark wood. Shelves and paintings lined the walls and the antique decorations were scattered around, centuries of memories from my world travels. It was a place where I could bury my worries and hide my secrets. I wasn't surprised to see the dark oak door already ajar. I pushed it open and saw Alice sitting on my desk, her head bent over her cell phone and thumbs tapping rapidly.

"It's about time. " She said without even looking up. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me."

"Never Alice…"I said lightly. "I don't even think I could if I wanted to."

"Haha." she smirked, finally looking up at me; eyes twinkling. "Soooo… why don't you close the door and have a seat?"

I raised my eyebrows at her commanding me within my own study but obeyed, and the door closed with a heavy click. As soon as I sat down in one of my oversized poofy chairs, her smile disappeared and turned into a glare.

"So what's this I see about you and Bella?" She demanded.

The air felt heavy and I gulped.

"Bella? Edwards human?" I asked innocently. Her glare intensified.

"No shit, Carlisle. Don't play coy. My visions showed you at the hospital earlier today. You kept going back and forth between ripping off her clothes in a lust clouded haze and bolting out the door. I'm glad you at least managed to control yourself."

I looked away from her angry stare.

_How do I explain anything to her, when there is nothing, no one but myself and my thoughts to blame?_

"Don't hide anything from me Carlisle. I've had so many conflicting visions involving this human girl and you've only made it like, a thousand times more complicated!"

She was pacing now, her brow furrowed. I couldn't imagine the kind of pressure and mental exhaustion she must suffer, seeing bits and pieces of the future, whether torturous or happy, and have no clue if they will come to pass.

"On the one side I see a future with her and Edward and the other side a future between her and you. There's so much hurt and pain on both sides it makes my heart break."

I lowered my head and ran my fingers through my hair nervously.

"But there's also so much joy on both sides, I'm not sure what to do here…" She was wringing her hands.

_Joy? There could be the outcome of joy with me being with Bella? Impossible… not without substantial hurt to Esme or Edward. And I couldn't bear the thought of bringing that much pain to anyone. _

"I don't have Edward's gift, Carlisle! I can't read your mind! Please… tell me what's going on in your head…"

I looked up at her pleading golden eyes.

"To be honest Alice, I haven't had a chance to think everything through for myself yet. I don't know what has come over me. Before this morning, everything was easy; I didn't have to fight such a savage side of myself. But as soon as I caught Bella's scent, saw her blushing face… I've been a broken man. I can't help these… feelings. They consume me whenever I am anywhere near her presence."

_And even now, when she is fucking miles away. _

Alice knelt down before me, taking my hands in hers.

"Do you still love Esme?" she asked softly, aware of the pain in my eyes.

"Of course I do… but…"

"But what, Carlisle?"

"But the feelings I have for Bella is something I have never felt before. It's as if I am a drowning man and she is my oxygen. As if I've been living in darkness and she is the sunrise. As if I am a disease and she is the cure…"My own words surprised me as I realized the truth of how much she means to me. How much my existence longed for hers, even though I have only spent a few minutes in her company. Alice looked at me, surprise in her eyes.

"That's how I felt with my first vision of Jasper. Same with Rosalie, when she saw Emmett in the woods. And Jasper felt that way too when he saw me waiting for him. That's how we all felt when we found our soulmate." Her eyes saddened. "Did you not feel that way when you met Esme?"

I felt like sobbing.

"No."

I stared at her, both of us sitting in silence. I rubbed my temples again and continued.

"When I met Esme, I was a desperate man. I had lived alone for almost 300 years. Edward had taken off again, unable to deal with what I've cursed him with. And then I saw her there, lying forgotten and broken, inches from death. In one selfish act I took her for myself. I changed her so I wouldn't have to bear this life alone. It was a mistake to take her, to curse her with a choice she would never have picked for herself."

Alice's face was crumpled.

"You're not a curse Carlisle. You and Esme are…"

She stopped and I saw her eyes glaze over as a vision clouded her senses. I waited patiently until her eyes cleared and she snapped her head up. She smile, suddenly relaxed. I wonder what she saw…

"Alice, do you think you can tell me wha-" She cut me off.

"I'm not going to tell you about my visions. I've seen that it would do more harm than good."

I sighed. "Well what do I do? Edward loves Bella too…"

She scoffed a bit.

"He's a little infatuated, somewhat obsessed, and more curious than anything...but he's not to the point of love yet."

"How do you know that?" I pleaded. "All I've wanted for him ever since I've cursed him with this life was for him to find happiness. I can't bear the guilt of being the one to take it away if he has found it with her. He even had to go to Alaska for a week because –"

"Because he wanted to kill her!" She snarled, cutting me off again. "He didn't want to expose us or hurt you by draining the blood of a human whose taste was irresistible. Answer me this Carlisle… When you are around her, do you fight a constant urge to empty the blood from her veins for your own thirst?"

My face pained at the thought of Bella falling as prey to a hungry vampire and I shook my head. I just wanted her, not her blood. I wanted to see her face light up in a smile when I catch her gaze. I wanted to feel the soft, warm caress of her skin. I wanted to bury myself in her scent and time my life with the gentle beat of her heart.

Alice sighed heavily. "Jasper told me the way Edward has been feeling for her. Edward's been wearing his emotions on his sleeve these days. And what he feels is nothing compared to what you feel for her."

"Esme…" I said feebly.

"Carlisle…if Esme is not your soul mate, then you are not hers." She whispered. "It has to go both ways."

If I could still cry, I would be a mess of tears right now. How can one teenage human girl turn my world upside down so easily? How can Alice be so calm and supportive of something that would rip the family apart? What are in her visions that make this all ok? All I knew was that everything has changed for me; everything was Bella.

I looked up at Alice; her eyes unfocused and hazy. Another vision. Suddenly she straightened and looked at me, her mouth fallen open in surprise.

"How interesting…" Then she smiled. "Stop stressing out about it Carlisle. We can get through this…."she said softly, pulling me into a hug. "Why don't I become better friends with Bella and we can just see how she will fit into our family. And I can tell Edward to back off a bit too."

I shot her a look. She laughed.

"Don't worry. This conversation is between you and me… for now. But mind your thoughts around Edward. You could always do what I do when I'm keeping something from him and try to recite the M volume of the World History of Diseases." She laughed again and wrapped her arms around me. I embraced her gratefully.

_At least with Alice here, I won't feel like I'm alone in all this. _

"Now… onto more important matters…" she grinned. "Can I borrow your AmEx Black credit card? I have a very important pair of shoes to buy." I laughed, swatted her and handed her my card. She giggled and slinked out the door.

_Uh oh. _

"Wait, Alice! How damn expensive are those shoes?"

* * *

A/N: Hope you still enjoyed the chapter. Alice takes Bella shopping next and Bella gets more insight as to who and or what the Cullens are... Ooooo... Please Please Please review! Reviews are Carlisle's caresses and we all know how much we want those... ;)


	4. Chapter 4 Just Put It On the Tab

**A/N: Thanks once again for being so patient! I'm sorry it took me sooo long. This chapter is rather long, hope you enjoy it! A big thank you thank you for all the faves and reviews you guys left! It keeps me going. **

**SM owns everything I own nothing... same ole same ole. :)**

**See you at the end!**

* * *

**Chapter 4. Just Put it on the Tab. And That One. And the Other One Too. **

Bella's POV

I wasn't looking forward to going back to school after the accident with the van. I knew people were just going to stare at me and whisper amongst themselves as if I was some sort of freak.

_Like I wasn't one already._

But I was anxious to see Edward again. He hadn't said much since the incident and he had disappeared when I went to find him after the... run in with Dr. Cullen.

_Carlisle... _

My heart fluttered a bit as I remembered his touch, cool and gentle against my face. The way his warm honey eyes seemed to melt over my own chocolate ones. It felt like he was looking into my soul. I sighed as I set my breakfast plate in the sink.

_Even my heart is clumsy._

I finally allowed myself to think the truth. The fact that I loved the feeling of his solid frame above mine. That I wanted to run my fingers through his pale blonde locks and that his scent, sweet and earthy like vanilla in the woods, made my head spin with pleasure.

That I was completely crushing on Carlisle Cullen.

_Pull it together Bella! He's old enough to be your father, even though there's no way in he'll he looks it. Plus he's probably married to some equally gorgeous supermodel type._

I laced up my shoes, double knotting it so I wouldn't trip over the laces.

_Even though a nasty fall may warrant another visit to a certain doctor..._

I smirked to myself as I grabbed my bag and headed out for my truck. It roared to life, startling a stray cat that had taken shelter beneath the large bulky frame. The roads were clear today, all ice from yesterday gone with the morning sun. I took a parking close to the entrance and scurried up the stairs into the building.

A slender girl with black spiky hair was waiting by my locker. She saw me coming and smiled widely.

"Hey... Bella, right?"

"Uhh... Yea"

"I'm Alice! I transferred into your biology class. I was wondering if I could sit next to you today... I have so much to catch up on. I could really use your help."

She giggled excitedly. It sounded like a tiny set of wind chimes. She was simply dressed, but I had a feeling the cost of her outfit was worth more than my entire wardrobe.

"Yea sure... But I already sit next to someone so we'd have to-"

"Oh... Edward!" she winked. "He's not in that class anymore. We switched. So it's settled then, lab partner!"

She stuck out her hand, offering a handshake. It was cool and the feel of her marble skin was familiar.

_Oh God._

I stared into her golden eyes and blushed. Alice... Alice Cullen. She was one of Carlisle's adopted foster kids. Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, and... Edward. I counted off the names in my head. And now Alice is my lab partner... instead of Edward.

"Hey... Why did you switch anyways?" I asked suddenly. She made a face.

"I'd rather do this than Advanced Trig. The only numbers I like come with dollar signs. And Edward wanted to anyways..."

The bell rang above our heads and she grinned.

"C'mon! Let's get to class!"

Class with Alice was interesting to say the least. Where Edward had previously stared at me repugnant, Alice couldn't get enough. She was actually rather amusing as she poked and prodded at lab samples, asking me my opinion on each one.

"I found it!" she shouted. "This amoeba looks exactly like the pope hat!" She giggled. Then she stopped and stared up, a glare somewhat crossing her face. I followed her gaze.

_Ugh. Mike Newton._

He was strutting up to my desk, oblivious to the daggers coming out of Alice's eyes.

"Hey Arizona!" I hated that nickname. "So uh... I don't know if you have plans for the 23rd, but I was... uh... wondering if you wanted to... go with me?"

_What? Why did the 23rd sound familiar?_

"That's prom, Bella..." Alice turned her head and whispered. She processed the look of nausea on my face and turned around, smiling sweetly at Mike.

"Bella, isn't that the weekend you're planning on going to visit your mom?"

I blinked.

"Uh... Yea. I've got to go to Jacksonville that weekend. Sorry Mike. But thanks for asking."

"You sure? It would be fun..."

"I'm sure Mike... But thanks."

He shrugged and sulked away. Alice was smirking and busying herself with the microscope. I shot her a grateful look and ducked my head over my paperwork. After class Alice zipped out the door as I slowly collected my books. I headed towards my locker but stopped when I overheard tense voices exclaiming nearby.

It was Alice and Edward. He was looming over her, his jaw clenched as she glared at him. Her mouth was moving furiously, but her voice was low and muted. I watched as Edward's fist curled tighter and he mumbled something back to her.

Suddenly they both stopped and turned to look at me.

_Awkward._

Alice's eyes were still fiery, but she smiled and skipped over to me.

"Bella! I forgot to give this to you after class." She handed me a slip of paper and grinned. "It's my cell... In case I have any sciency questions, can I have yours?"

"Uh... Yea... Sure."

She handed me her phone and I tapped in my number

"Great! Thanks. Hey, maybe we can go shopping this weekend!" She clapped. "I know this great boutique over in Port Angeles."

_Shopping. Great._

I glanced over at Edward who was still standing a few feet away. His glare was intense and completely focused on me. I blushed in embarrassment.

"So Bella! Is that a yes for this weekend?"

"Yea. Um... Sure." I turned back to look at her.

She hugged me suddenly and I smiled. I think I like having Alice as a friend.

"Great! I'll pick you up Saturday morning. There's no way I'm riding in that metal death trap of yours..." she giggled.

"Hey!" I started, but she was already skipping off. Jasper was standing at the end of the hall waiting for her.

"See you tomorrow!" she called back, leaving me standing alone with Edward.

I walked up to him slowly. He looked as if he wanted to run away.

"Edward… How's your hand?"

"What?" He sounded clueless.

"Your hand? From the other day… You smashed a van door in trying to save me."

"Oh… right. It was an adrenaline rush. I'm fine."

"Adrenaline rush?"

"Yep. You can Google it."

Why was he being such a jerk? I stared up at him.

"Well, how the hell did you move so fast to get to me? I saw you on the other side of the lot! There's no way-"

"Just Google it, Bella." He snapped. His jaw and fist were clenched again. He stared down at me, his gaze black and intense, burning a hole into my conscious. I shifted uneasily. His nostrils flared and his lips pressed into a tense line.

"I have to go." He said icily. He swept past me and was halfway down the hall before I could blink.

* * *

I was angry and Charlie could tell. He silently ate his dinner, pork chops and mashed potatoes, while I banged around the dishes in the sink. Who does Edward think he is, being so rude? Does he regret saving my life? I slammed down another pot and started scrubbing furiously.

"Uh… Bells?" Charlie's voice broke the silence. "I don't know what the kitchenware did to piss you off but you may want to calm down a bit."

I sighed, fighting back tears.

"Sorry Dad… it's just school…" I lied.

_No, it's just Edward Cullen, the most infuriating selfish dick to walk the halls. Who also happened to despise my existence._

At least not all of his family seemed so rude. I remembered Alice and her offer and brightened a little.

"Alice Cullen wants to take me shopping in Port Angeles this weekend."

"Shopping, huh? I didn't think that was your thing." He helped himself to another serving of potatoes.

"It's not. But it'd be nice go. And Alice is cool…"

"Ok… " He said. "The Cullen's are good kids. Keep to themselves a lot, but they don't get into any trouble. Just don't stay out too late… I won't be home anyway. Harry wants to go fishing this weekend."

I smiled as he wiped off the last of the potatoes from his mustache. He waved at the sink with the back of his hand. "And don't worry about the rest of the dishes, Bells. I'll take care of them."

"Thanks dad." I patted him on the shoulder appreciatively and headed upstairs.

Saturday came by faster than I thought. I didn't see Edward for the rest of the week, but Alice kept me busy in biology class, chattering on about our upcoming trip. On Friday she asked me to join her and Jasper at their lunch table and we spent all of our eating time joking about the secret lives of our high school staff. Jasper's company was light and easy and I felt happy in their presence. And I was actually getting excited about Port Angeles; it would be nice to get out of Forks, even if it was just for the day. For shopping.

That morning I woke up to my buzzing phone. A text from Alice… at 7 am?

***Bella! So excited to go shopping! Be ready in 40 min! :) xAlicex***

I groaned and pulled myself out of bed. After I showered I stood in front of my closet with no idea what to wear. Anything I selected would pale in comparison to Alice's infinite wardrobe. I finally settled on my favorite pair of dark wash jeans and a long sleeved regal purple cardigan, the hem and sleeves edged with black satin. I laced my converse and grabbed my bag, hearing 2 car honks outside at 7:40 on the dot. A shiny black Mercedes sat in the drive.

_Holy shit. _

I climbed in the car to see Alice's tiny face behind the wheel, her gold eyes twinkling.

"Hey!" She beamed. "Cute top."

"Thanks…" I shut the door and was immediately surrounded by a familiar scent, earth and vanilla. I closed my eyes and felt my heart race. Alice smiled.

"I had to borrow Carlisle's car. Rosalie wouldn't let me take her convertible."

_Carlisle…_

My mind said his name like a purr. I relaxed into the seat as Alice sped along the highway. I don't know how she managed to drive so fast without getting caught; the trees passing us were nothing but a blur.

Alice chattered happily about school and fashion as she drove, but my mind was elsewhere. I was focused on Carlisle and sitting in his car was an embrace of his presence. His iPod sat in the center console and I wondered what secrets lay in his playlists. An old fashioned medical bag was tucked under the dashboard of the front passenger seat and I stretched out and nudged it gently with my toe. From the rearview mirror hung his hospital badge, his flawless face smiling back at me.

"Oh and don't worry about Edward." Alice suddenly chimed.

_What?_

My mind suddenly focused back on Alice's conversation.

"Edward?"

"Yea. Sorry he's been such a jerk to you. He can be kinda intense sometimes. But don't take it to heart. "She winked at me. "I'll talk to my silly brother when he gets back."

"Back? Where did he go?"

"We have family up in Alaska and he went up to visit."

"Oh… that's cool."

_I wouldn't be anxiously awaiting his return by any means._

I shivered, a chill running thru me as I realized I had forgotten my jacket.

"Are you cold Bella?" Alice chewed her lower lip. "I think Carlisle might have something…"

She reached around me and rummaged behind the seat.

"Ah! Yes… here it is." She pulled up a neatly folded dark grey hoodie. She grimaced. "Not really an attractive article of clothing, but it should at least keep you warm."

I thankfully took it and pulled the hoodie over my head. I was suddenly wrapped in the wonderful scent I have come to recognize as Carlisle. It was comforting and being surrounded by him made me smile.

My heart fluttered in my chest and I breathed in his earthy sweet scent.

_Who needs oxygen when Carlisle smells this damn good. _

We arrived in Port Angeles at the same time the shops opened, as if Alice planned it perfectly. She clapped and pulled me anxiously out of the car.

"C'mon! C'mon!"

I followed her into the store. It was an Alice playground. Racks and racks of clothes filled the floor, walls and counters. She squealed and immediately got to work, pulling items off the racks at an alarming rate. I laughed and pulled at my sleeves… Carlisle's sleeves. I fingered the lace on a nearby shirt.

I wonder what Carlisle's favorite color is…. If I knew I would wear it more.

"Oh my God!" I heard Alice scream from the back of the store. "They have the new arrivals from Milan!"

Alice walked up to me, her beaming face barely visible behind the massive amount of clothes gathered in her arms.

"This should be enough." She stated, plopping the entire load on the checkout counter. The clerk's eyes bulged.

"For what, the year?" I joked. She shot me an exasperated look.

"No silly… the month. If I was going shopping for the year, we would have rented a truck." The clerk was flustered as she tried to ring up the items, scanning and bagging the purchases, only to have Alice pull them back out and rearrange them. I smirked.

"Just put it on the Cullen tab." Alice said breezily as she carried the bags out the door. We loaded the bags into the trunk and climbed back into the car. "Ready for the next one?" Alice winked at me.

"More?" I thought you said you were good for a month?" Alice looked offended.

"Only at one store! And I'm buying for the family this time anyway."

_Oh. _

We continued the raid from store to store. She pulled dresses, shirts, pants, t-shirts, and sweaters in all colors and sizes. There was enough to clothe a small army, let alone the entire Cullen family. All of the purchases were added to one tab or another, Alice never having to pull out any cash or cards. I snuck into a bistro for food and a bathroom break as Alice seemed to run off of pure fashion energy. We stopped at a men's' specialty store and she loaded up on socks and shoes. I picked up a new pack of black socks for Charlie as he was starting to get hobo-toes in his.

"Hey Bella?" Alice called out from a few feet away. "Can you pick out a new tie for Carlisle? He always likes a new tie and I am elbows deep in man panties right now."

I stared at the huge tie rack in front of me, a muted rainbow of colors and patterns. A tie for Carlisle? I ran my hands across the dangling fabric. He didn't seem like the type that would want anything too loud or eye catching. . I made a face. Definitely nothing floral. I came across one that reminded me of him. It was dark brown and had an intricate stitching in a pale blue and gold thread. The gold was the same color as his eyes. This was the one.

"Ooo… nice pick!" Alice was peeking over my shoulder. "He's gonna love it."

She smiled knowingly as I blushed and we walked up to the checkout. I suddenly turned to her.

"I'd like to buy the tie…"

"Oh, Bella. I can't let you do that. That tie's at least over a hundred dollars."

"No it's ok… I still have some money left over that my mom gave me for the trip over here. And I want to." Alice stared at me in thought.

"Fine… but I get to give you something by the end of the day."

_Uh oh_.

"Ok. "

She grinned and her eyes sparkling mischievously. I took my purchases, the socks and the tie, up to the counter and sweated a bit at the total.

Alice then dumped her purchases and the lady bagged them up. Another charge to a tab? How much money so these people have?

She smiled and we stuffed the purchases into Carlisle's car. I swear it groaned under the weight.

"One more stop." She said.

"Seriously Alice? I don't think the car can hold anymore."

"I think… I know… you'll like this one. And last one, I promise."

I was surprised as we pulled up in front of a book store. Finally. Something worth shopping for.

Alice grinned. "I have to pick up Jazz's book order."

I hopped out eagerly and pushed open the shop door. I love the smell of the millions of old printed pages. The book store was smaller than others, but it was welcoming and felt like an old friend. Alice went to the front desk where the clerk began pulling books that had already been ordered. I began to wander the store, losing myself first in the classics. I picked up a discounted copy of Anna Karenina and headed for the back.

_Oh. A bargain bin!_

I rummaged thru the books, most of them uninteresting and all of which had dog-eared corners or missing covers, when one of them caught my eye.

History of Forks.

The lettering was faded and the blue paisley hardcover was torn in a few places. I checked the date. Copyright 1959.

_Sweet. Charlie might like this. _

I flipped thru the pages gingerly and suddenly a photo made me stop. It was old and freckled and looked like it was from a political rally. There was a large crowd of people cheering, raising signs and waving streamers. But tucked in the back there was a lone figure smiling politely, slightly separating himself from the crowd. Pale hair was parted neatly down the side and his fair eyes struck me to the core. He was devastatingly handsome and shockingly familiar.

_Carlisle. It couldn't be. _

But his features were so distinct… it could only be him. I checked the caption near the picture and it was dated 1939.

_What the hell?_

I heard Alice finish with the clerk and I snapped the book shut. I went up to purchase it along with Anna Karenina

"Find anything good?" Alice asked as we headed out the door.

"Uh… yea. You can say that…"

The ride home was quieter and I was glad. I was still so confused as to why Carlisle is in a picture from 1930's and my thoughts were frantically thinking of any reasonable options. Maybe an ancestor… or time travel. I sighed. I was exhausted after the full day of shopping. I don't know how Alice is still so energetic; she didn't have a single hair out of place.

She dropped me off and hopped out to give me a hug. I hugged her back gratefully. Despite my hatred for shopping, I really did have a good time. Alice was officially my first friend in Forks.

"Thanks for taking me, Alice. "

"Anytime." She giggled. "One of these days you will have to come over to see my house and hang with my family. Maybe we could have a girl's night or something."

"Sounds great. Let me know." She hugged me one more time and started to get back in the car.

"Oh wait! I almost forgot!" She smiled smugly and opened the trunk, handing me the largest bag I have ever seen.

"What? Alice…"

"You said I can give you something by the end of the day. So I'm giving you this bag…. Full of stuff."

"I can't… I mean, I should pay."

"I don't think so. Besides you're going to love everything in there." She smiled and jumped back in the car, speeding away.

_Good thing Charlie's gone on his fishing trip._

I sighed and took the bag inside, dumping the contents on my bed. I smiled as I sorted them out. Sweaters, shirts, skirts, an amazing pair of jeans, even a cute dark purple bubble dress; she was right. I loved them. I noticed a lot of them were variations of the color purple, right down to a lacy lavender negligee. I blushed and stuffed it under a sweater. I tucked the curious book from the bookstore into my nightstand and smiled. It had been a good day.

But the thing I loved most from today I was still currently wearing, and I was in no hurry to give the dark grey hoodie back.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around myself, inhaling his scent once more, and headed downstairs to start dinner. The room spun as my shoe hooked a small crack in the steps.

_Fuck._

I landed hard and fell the rest of the way down the stairs backwards. Pain shot thru my ankle and my limbs felt unresponsive.

"Carlisle…." I breathed.

The world faded to black.

* * *

**A/N: Oooooo... What's going to happen next? Review please? Maybe even for a Carlisle cookie?**


	5. Chapter 5:BandAids and Butterfly Kisses

**A/N:Hey guys! Here we are again! I hope you haven't been waiting too long. ;) Thank you for all the amazing reviews! You guys are awesome! **

***Hands out Carlisle cookies to everyone* **

**Please, keep them coming. I will definitely try to reply to more of them. **

**I hope you like this chapter. I was a bit hesitant about some of the parts... but I think it worked out ok. **

**Much thanks to my bestie buggirl1964 for all her help and staying up late to read my latest. :)**

**All the characters belong to SM. I make no money. This will probably be the last disclaimer... just figure it will carry out for the rest of this story. :D**

**Alright... here we go. see you at the end!**

* * *

**Chapter Five. Stairs, Band-Aids, and Butterfly Kisses.**

Carlisle's POV

London, England 1664

I lay trembling in the cellar, trying to still the screaming burn in my throat.

_Why? Why must I be cursed with this second life? _

I remember the razor teeth sinking into my shoulder and life suddenly fading away. Then it all stopped. There was a flurry of movement off in the distance and sudden screams as I was dropped to the ground, alive but still bleeding. I remember as the fire began. It started at my shoulder and spread, engulfing my body in ice white pain. My fingers scratched feebly at the stone floor as I tried to drag myself away. The fire raged through my body tightening and stabbing through every muscle strand. I finally found myself in a cool dark room, closed my eyes and prayed for death.

Death never came.

Instead the pain slowly subsided and I awoke, not dead but not entirely alive either. My body was now pale, cold, and hardened. My vision was clear and sharp, able to focus on the smallest particles in the air. I could hear conversations and the bustle of the city above. And I could smell… blood, heavy and saturated and it made my throat ache with thirst.

I was a vampire.

Now I can never go home. My father, a pastor set on ridding the world of the super natural, would kill me on sight. I would not allow him to see what I have become; I would rather him think that I died fighting his battles.

I pulled myself up, amazed at my body's agile response. My surroundings were dark, wet and earthy. A familiar but unpleasant smell coated the air. Potatoes.

_Ha. I'm in a fucking potato cellar. _

I headed towards the surface, towards the salty London air, towards the hum of thousands of beating hearts. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, and ignoring the ever present ache in my throat.

_No. I will not be a monster. I WILL get past this. _

I was surprised at how fast my legs carried me through the city. The buildings and people were nothing but a blur as I ran. I ran to separate myself from the city that pulsed with blood. I ran to save them from myself.

* * *

I wish I could still run, put miles between me and the one thing I craved the most. Except this time it wasn't blood; it was Bella. It has been a whole week and Bella's memory still tormented me. A vampire's precise memory is usually a gift, but now it cursed me. I saw her face, her deep scorching eyes and her small curvy body everywhere I looked. And it aroused me ever time.

_Like a fucking prepubescent human boy. _

A small sparkle of movement caught my attention from out my study window.

Esme. My heart broke a little as I watched her tend to her immaculate rose bush. Her russet hair curled perfectly around her heart shaped face and her tiny lips were pulled into a soft smile. The sunlight twinkled across her skin, sending dozens of little rainbows glittering off the surface. She was absolutely radiant. But she is unhappy. Her eyes, usually bright and full of love, were dull and empty.

I sighed heavily.

It is my fault; I am the one causing her misery. And I don't know if there's anything I can do to fix it.

I started to gather up my things to retreat back to another long shift at the hospital, when a knock sounded at the door.

Alice.

"Come in."

She peeked her head in.

"Hey, Carlisle." She slid through the door and closed it.

"Alice…" She glanced at my hands, which were still clutching my coat.

"You're going back to the hospital." She stated softly.

"Yes. I have another 12 hour shift… What's going on?"

"I just got back from shopping in Port Angeles."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I expect there are quite a few tabs I have to honor."

She smiled widely.

"Just a few."

I smirked.

"Well, leave me a list and I'll make sure to take care of it."

She nodded and pulled a small bag from behind her back.

"This is for you."

"Alice… you didn't have to get me anything."

"I didn't. Bella did."  
_  
What?_

I took the bag from her eagerly and pulled out a tie box.

_Hermes? How did Bella manage to get me a Hermes tie?_

"Alice…" I stated sternly.

She raised her hands innocently.

"She insisted. Not my fault."

I opened the box slowly, revealing a beautifully embroidered silk tie. It was perfectly my taste.

"Did she pick this out herself?"

Alice nodded.

"Well… she did amazing." I quickly took off the tie I was wearing and switched it with Bella's choice. I smoothed it down my shirt.

"It looks great, Carlisle." Alice said softly.

It did look great. And Bella had picked it out, had selected it with me in mind. I wish I could give her something in return. I looked up at Alice, intending to ask her if she knew what Bella might like, but her eyes were glassy and far off. A feeling of panic and desperation suddenly washed over me; something was wrong.

"Carlisle…" she whispered.

"What? What is it Alice?"

Her eyes snapped forward and she grabbed me roughly.

"It's Bella…she… she fell down the stairs at her home and… Carlisle, she's not getting up… she might be-"

I was out the door before she could finish. I ran, faster than any car, through the forest in the direction of her home.

_Bella._

She has to be ok. My feet thundered through the dirt and brush as I wove through the trees. The 49 seconds it took for me to run to her house felt like hours. Each second was vital if Bella was injured.

Her recognizable scent hit my nose as I neared her house, but I ignored it, pushing it out of my mind. I burst thru the trees and ran up the driveway to her house. A small sigh of relief escaped from my lungs, her gentle heartbeat still thrummed steadily through the walls. I quietly let myself in the front door and saw her crumbled at the foot of the stairs. I was at her side in an instant. Her breathing was slow and hitched and a small trickle of blood streamed down the side of her face below her cheekbone.

I tuned my hearing into her heartbeat, the rush of her blood and the air in her lungs. Centuries of practice has allowed me to know a human's condition by my senses alone, without the need for machinery. I gently traced my fingers down her spine, across her ribs, hips, and femur. No broken bones, normal blood flow, apart from some swelling in her right ankle, and no injury to her arteries. I sighed gratefully; she was ok. She stirred slightly as I gathered her up in my arms, as light and delicate as a butterfly's kiss.

I froze as I recognized the hoodie her petite frame was hidden under. The last time I saw it, it was stashed under the seat of my car. The small patch Esme made on the shoulder where I snagged it during a hunt was still there. It looked like it belonged on her and I smiled. She could keep it. Her hair shifted as she moved against me and the scent I had been trying to block out hit me at full force. I gripped her hips and nuzzled myself into her neck, inhaling deeply.

_Pure fucking heaven. _

I stood, balancing her carefully and carried her upstairs. Her room was clean, but various items were strewn about. Her bed was cluttered with the results of her shopping excursion with Alice. I set her down gently, pushing the clothes clear. My hand caught on something small and lacy and I pulled out a small piece of lingerie.

_Oh God. _

I moaned as venom rushed to my cock, bringing it to full attention. I quickly pushed back under the sweater it was under, but it was too late to prevent the images of Bella wearing nothing but the lavender lace from flashing though my mind. If a vampire could blush, my face would be on fire. I moved to pull away, but her fingers clutched my collar.

"Carlisle…." She breathed.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as she clung to me, whispering my name. Her eyes were still closed, but her lashes trembled softly. Hearing my name fall from her lips made me groan and I felt my pants tighten even more. My fingers found their way into her hair as I pressed her against me. Her scent invaded every cell in my body and I felt as if I was swimming in a hazy bliss. She was here, she was real, and she was in my arms.

_I wish I could never let go. _

Her eyes fluttered slightly and they opened, revealing her lush brown eyes, clouded with confusion.

"Bella…" I whispered softly. "Are you alright?" I ran my fingers through her hair again as I cradled her face in my hand. Her eyes scanned mine wildly as she tried to piece together her reality.

"Dr. Cul- Carlisle…"she murmured. She shifted slightly and I realized she was still halfway in my lap.

I quickly stood, bumping her legs further back on the bed in the process. She gasped in pain and clutched her ankle.

_Shit. I can't do anything right. _

"I'm so sorry Bella…" I stammered." You sprained your ankle falling down the stairs."

"How… how did you…" she looked at me, puzzlement and wonder reflecting through her eyes.

_Fuck. Think quickly, old man. _

"I came by to… see Charlie. I had some questions for him regarding a case he is working on."

_Lame. _

"Oh…" she said softly. "He's gone fishing this weekend with Harry Clearwater." She pulled herself up and winced as her injured ankle bumped against the bed. I knelt beside her.

"Bella…" I took her tiny hand in mine and she stared at me. I gently brushed my thumb against the back of her hand and I heard her heartbeat quicken as her cheeks flushed with color. Her warm arousing scent radiated from her core. My head swam with pleasure as I breathed her in.

"Would you allow me to access your medical supplies so I can take care of your ankle… and this?" I asked, tracing my finger gingerly against her cheek where her blood still shone from the cut. Her breath caught in her throat and she bit her lip again. It took everything I had not to stop her with a kiss.

"Yea… of course… It's in the bathroom under the sink. There's quite a stock, as I'm not a very graceful person."

I smiled and stood slowly, giving her hand a squeeze as I left. Once in the bathroom, I closed the door with a soft click. A wall now separated me from the room that was saturated with Bella's scent. The room that currently had Bella in it, on her bed… in my sweatshirt.

_If only it was nothing but my sweatshirt. Fuck._

I groaned as I hardened to almost painful proportions and my cock twitched as I tucked it away. My body was begging for release, but it would have to wait. Bella was hurt; Bella needed me. I opened the cabinet under the sink and snickered. She wasn't kidding about having an overt stock of medical supplies; Band-Aid alone could hire her to be a spokesperson. I pulled what I needed and ran downstairs for an ice pack. I knocked on the doorframe of Bella's room and her eyes looked up at mine as I entered and knelt before her again.

"May I look at your ankle, Bella?" She ran her fingers through her hair and nodded. I propped her leg on my knee and she flinched as I gently removed her sock. Her ankle was worse than I'd hoped; the soft pink flesh already purple and swollen. I grimaced as I grazed the tender joint with my fingertips and she gasped.

"You're fingers are so cold." she stammered.

"I'm sorry Bella. I've always been a little cold. And your ankle is quite swollen so it will be a bit more sensitive."

"No… it's ok. You feel good." She blushed.

I smiled and started to wrap her ankle, giving support to her weakened joint. Her foot was so soft, so tiny in my hand and I rubbed it gently to circulate the blood.

She moaned softly and I stopped, my breath stuck in my chest. My ears prickled as her breathing deepened, her heartbeat accelerated, and the tangy scent of her arousal assaulted my nose once more.

_Fuuuuuuck. _

I stopped myself from leaping on the bed. Every muscle, every reflex yearned to move closer to her. To hear her sigh and moan against me as I worshipped every inch of her porcelain skin.

I gently set her foot back on the bed and sat down beside her. She stared back at me, her wide doe eyes sparkling with seduction and I reached out to brush her hair from her face.

"Now for this…" I murmured, tracing the cut on her face. I reached for the cleaning wipes and wiped it across her cheek. She flinched as the alcohol connected with the wound and I squeezed her hand in comfort.

"Is it still bleeding a lot?" she asked, squeezing my hand in return.

"No… it looks like it's stopped for the most part."

"Good." She closed her eyes. "I can't stand a lot of blood."

_Neither can I. _

I chuckled, thinking of the irony in my head and swiftly put antibiotic cream and a bandage on it. I gently took her hand in mine again, relishing the feeling of the contact, and pulled it to my lips. She gasped as my mouth connected with the back of her hand. Her satin skin was delicate and sweet against my lips and I lingered there longer than I should. I wanted to continue, to keep kissing her and tasting her until she shuddered against me in pleasure. Instead, I reluctantly released her hand; the absence of her touch felt devastating.

"Bella…" I jotted down a number on my notepad and handed it to her. "Here is my personal cell number. I want you to call me if you need anything."

"Ok…"she said softly. "Thank you."

"Are you going to be ok here yourself? Can I get you anything?"

_Anything in the world?_

"I'll be ok." She smiled at me and I melted. "I've been through worse."

_Never again. Not while I'm around. _

"Ok…well promise you will call me or Alice if you need anything."

"I promise… Hey!" She started, pointing at me. "You're wearing the tie!" She grinned and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes… it's a wonderful tie. I love it. Thank you, Bella."

She leaned forward and caught the tie between her fingers, tugging slightly and I leaned into the motion.

Her face was now inches from mine and my lips longed to close the distance between us. I could feel her sweet breath against my face and her eyes darted between mine searching for… permission. I turned my head so my nose softly brushed against hers.

"You're welcome," She whispered and captured my lips with her own. My lips tingled from the contact, but she pulled back quickly, before I could react. A furious blush flushed across her face.

"I'm sorry…I…I didn't…"she stammered.

I growled and pulled her to me again, crushing her lips against my own. She was so soft, so perfect against me. I was glad I had ample practice with the frailty of humans else I would have destroyed her with my fervor.

She responded beautifully beneath me, sliding her arms around my shoulders and running her hands thru my hair. A few strands fell in front of my eyes, but I couldn't give a care. She moaned and parted her lips, allowing me to slip inside. I did so gently, and gasped at the exquisite taste of her.

_Divine. _

She pulled away, panting slightly as she breathed, her gaze flickering across my face. She cautiously cupped my jaw and leaned forward once more. I obliged.

I felt my arousal pressing anxiously against my pants as she gently nipped my bottom lip. God, how I wanted her. Her tongue slipped timidly between my lips and I let out a low moan. I could spend every minute of my eternity kissing her.

Her room, heavy with her scent, clouded my mind in a lust filled miasma.

Esme.

A small voice whispered, but it sounded so far away.

I trailed a set of kisses down her neck, suckling gently on her skin, ignoring the venom pooling in my mouth.

Esme.

The voice was a little louder.

Bella moaned softly and my soul seemed to soar over the thought of pleasing her. My kisses continued, hovering over her collar bone. She arched slightly against me, brushing herself against my straining cock.

_Unngh. _

Only a few centimeters of fabric separated me from lavishing a naked goddess and giving my body the release it's been craving for over a week. I moved against her and ran her hands up chest to grip my shoulders.

EMSE. It shouted.

I stopped and pulled away.

_Esme. _

I maybe inhuman, I may be a curse, an old traveled soul, an unhappy husband. But I am no cheater. As much as I crave my beautiful Bella, I will not cross this line.

_Besides, today's laws forbid it. _

"Bella…" I choked. She tried to kiss me again, but I lowered my head, bumping her forehead against mine. I gathered her tiny hands in mine and kissed her knuckles.

"Bella… you are amazing and I can't help but to feel drawn to you."

She stared up at me with her wide chocolate eyes.

"But I can't…I…" I ran my hands thru my hair. I saw her look up at my third finger, where my wedding band reflected back at her. She bit her lip nervously.

"I'm sorry…" she avoided my gaze.

"Hey. " I gently took her chin and lifter her eyes to meet mine. "Don't apologize. I don't regret what just happened… I just can't continue right now. You've changed my world since I saw you that day in the hospital. I will not deny that I am enamored by your presence and inspired by your soul. I've felt things I've never dreamt I'd feel since you've captured my heart."

She blushed. I smiled and continued.

"All I have to offer right now is a friendship. Would you allow me to get to know you?"

_To know what makes you smile, what makes your heart flutter, what fills you with heated arousal and what makes you beg for pleasure? _

She nodded. "Yea, I'd like that."

I gently kissed her forehead and stood.

"You have my number Bella. Don't hesitate to contact me. I'll be waiting." I kissed the back of her hand again and winked at her. "Oh… and you can keep that sweatshirt of mine."

She grinned.

I quickly left her house and ran back into the forest at vampiric speed, as I was already late for my shift. If I had taken the time to turn and look back, I would have seen Bella's puzzled face watching me from her window as I disappeared into the tress.

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**A/N: So... any ideas as to what's next? Hmmmmmm? :D haha. Hope you guys liked it. Please let me know what you think. I was a little insecure about some parts of this chapter so it would be great to get some feedback. almost at 100 reviews! That makes me sooo happy. I will give the 100th reviewer a special shout out. I love you all! I'll be back sooooon!**


	6. Chapter 6: Blue Floral Jams for Fashion

_**Previously:**_

_Author's Note:_

_Wow. It's been awhile since I have been able to immerse myself in this story._

_I don't know if anyone is even still interested._

_But... I"m back._

_I have gone thru a lot since I last updated, including the loss of a baby and the birth of another one. It's been a rough ride and I had to take a step back and focus on the going ons of my life. But things have settled and I went back and reread my favorite Bellisle stories and I am SOOOOO ready to finish this story._

_I'm sorry, you guys, for having to abandon it. I always hated it when I would read a story and start to get into it and then BOOM, no updates, no ending. So it killed me that I became one of them._

_I hope I haven't lost everybody and there is someones still lurking that like my story._

_I loved all the reviews that I got, even the critical ones. Really made me think as to where I want this story to go._

_See you soon!_

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**NOW:**

**A:N**

I want to say thank you guys, once again for sticking with me. You've all been fabulous. Steamy Carlisle eyes to everybody!

****I also want to address some of my reviewers specifically. I'm not really able to find the time to sit and reply to everyone, but I do want to make a few comments to you guys.

*01katie, ncldybug, whitegurl2013 - Thank you so much for being so understanding. :)

*anneris15 - I had to translate your review to understand it but thank you so much! I am glad you like it. I've always like Carlisle/Bella over any other pairing.

*bad7585, AMUTOforever305 - Glad you guys are still with me. :) Thanks so much.

*dolhpin33, psychovampirefreak -I'm so glad you guys like the story so far. :)

I hope you guys like this chapter. It was really difficult to write through. I dunno if it is because I'm trying to get back into the store and match what I have written so far or if it is because I REEEEAAALLLLLY want to jump ahead of myself and get to all the lemony Carlisle/Bella lurves.

Anyways. See you at the end.

**Chapter 6:** Blue Floral Jams for Fashion

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Bella's POV

I watched, confused, as Carlisle ran straight off into the woods. There was no car in the drive, no one on the side of the road waiting to pick him up. He just disappeared, vanished into the trees. I hopped on my one good foot back to the bed and sat down.

_This is too much to process. What the hell just happened?_

I craved his presence as soon as he left. There was something comforting, inviting about his very being that made me want to never leave his side. I fingered the piece of paper sitting hot in my pocket, the paper with 9 digits penned in his hand that would link me back to him. The temptation to contact him was almost overpowering, but I resisted. I needed time to figure out the rapid cadence of my heart.

I still tasted his kiss upon my lips, still felt the ghost of his caress on my skin, still felt his whispers in my ear. I shivered. When I had awoken, the last face I expected to see was Carlisle's. But there he was, his fingers woven in my hair, his face only inches from my own. My heart fluttered as I remembered the gentle way his eyes held mine as he tended to my injuries. The way his cool, soothing touch frosted my skin, yet filled my body with heat. The way he made me ache for a pleasure it seemed only he could give.

I remembered when his lips met mine, goosebumps trickling over my body as we collided, sweet and passionate and full of desperate control.

And I remembered the sharp glare of his wedding ring and the sinking realization that my arms were wrapped around a married man.

_You foolish girl._

I sighed and bit the tremor in my lip as tears stung the back of my eyes. The guilt felt like a boulder in my stomach. A friendship he had said. I hardly deserve even that, but I will take what I can get. I only know that my life would be incomplete without him.

I reached over to my nightstand and pulled out the curious book from the Port Angeles store. I flipped through the pages until I found the picture again. There was no doubt about it. It had to be him... it could only be him. His face was identically flawless, his warm eyes flickering back at me, his smile slowly melting my core. I traced the curve of his lips, the same lips that were pressed against mine only moments before.

_Oh God, what was happening to me?_

The book accidently slipped off the bed as I hopped my way to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection and shuddered. I can't believe he saw me... kissed me while I looked like this. My hair was a mess, frizzed and knotted in a halo around my head. My eyes were red and tired looking, my cheek was bruised and puffy and the white square bandaid set on it was an eyesore. I splashed water on the good side of my face and attempted to smooth my hair back into place. The bedroom seemed miles away as I hopped my way back. As I passed through the hall my stomach gurgled.

_Oh yea... dinner._

I was hungry before I fell. Maybe not so much anymore now that my world has been flipped upside down under the hands of a perfect man. I cast a forlorn look at the stairs, the only obstacle between me and the leftover spaghetti I had originally planned to devour in the fridge. I teetered as I made my way down the hall.

_Errmm... maybe Carlisle was right about those stairs. _

My phone buzzed angrily in my pocket and I stopped to lean against the wall.

"Hello?"

"Bella?! Oh thank God." The voice was frantic.

"Alice?"

"Yea. Hey, Carlisle told me what happened. Are you ok?"

_My conscious hurt worse than my body._

"Yea... I'm fine. Just trying to figure out if I should eat something."

"Of course you should. Don't more another inch! I'm on my way with... pizza. I figured we could hang out and I could keep you company. "

"Alice, you don't have to do that. You've already done so much for me today! I mean the shopping, the clothes... I'm not even that hungry anyways..."

"It's fine Bella," Alice laughed. "It's fun hanging out with you. Please... I insist."

"Ok... well, thanks. You're a lifesaver."

Alice mumbled something almost inaudible. But it sounded something like, 'Oh you have no idea...'.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. " She said airily. "Listen, I'll be over in 5 and I can let myself in, right? I don't want you to fall again."

"Yea... there's a key under the flowerpot on the right."

"Awesome. See you in a few!" She sang before hanging up.

I smiled, relieved, and made my way back to the room, leaving the staircase behind. I sat back on the bed and sighed, suddenly tasting Carlisle's sweet breath on my lips. I touched them gently and felt my cheeks flush.

_Would Alice hate me if she knew that I had kissed her... dad?_

I grimaced and the boulder recentered in my stomach.

He was only her adopted father... and he doesn't even look remotely old enough to be her father. But still... I didn't want to lose a friend like Alice. I have never really gotten along with the kids my own age, never felt like I belonged in their world. So having Alice as a friend, despite her love for fashion and shopping, was refreshing. But I doubt she would understand anything going on between me and Carlisle. I tried to imagine Charlie with a girl my own age, like Jessica, and shuddered.

_Yuck._

The front door clicked and the smell of pizza slowly wafted up. My stomach gave a slight protest.

"Hello? Bella?" Alice's voice rang from downstairs.

"Up here!" I answered.

Her head popped through my door and she grinned.

"Hey you."

She handed me the pizza and a plate and a thermos full of hot tea, then moved to sit cross legged on my floor. I sipped the tea and felt my body start to melt. It was exactly what I needed.

"This is really good Alice, thank you. " I pulled my self a piece of pizza and gestured to the box. "You want a slice?"

She crinkled her nose.

"No thanks... They only had pepperoni and I'm a vegetarian... of sorts. It's ok, I already ate anyways."

I took another sip of tea, the wash of warmth tickling through my body, eroding my resolve. Tears threatened my eyes again. Alice's eyes softened and she scooted closer to the bed.

"Bella? You ok?"

"Yea. Thanks... I'm fine." My eyes were stuck staring at the space between my shoelaces. "I just have a lot to think about." I nuzzled my nose deep into the wrinkles of Carlisle's hoodie and sighed as I breathed him in. His scent had a similar effect as the tea and felt my mind relax a bit more.

"Ok... well just know that you can always talk to me if you need to... about anything. " Alice smoothed her hand over the back of mine. Her fingers were cool and her touch was reminiscent of the last pair of hands to graze mine. My throat clenched.

"Hey!" Alice started, forcing me to look up. "Your clothes! You're gonna wrinkle them!" She sprang up and started grabbing the clothes that she had given me, which were still piled on my bed.

_Oh crap._

"Oh no... Alice I'm sorry. I didn't mean to forget them. I really do like all of them. I just haven't had the chance to-"

"Don't worry about it Bella. I'll take care of it. " She gave me a sweet smile and I felt myself grinning back.

"Thanks Alice... for everything."

She laughed and booped my nose.

"No problem Bella. Now I take it your closet is that mouse hole in the corner?" She opened my closet and squeaked. "How do you survive?! This closet is so small! I can't even sit down in here and that's saying something!"

I couldn't help but snicker as I watched her submerge herself into my tiny half closet. It never bothered me, but then again I've never had that many clothes. I doubt Alice would ever be able to use my closet for anything except receipt storage. Even then...

"What the hell is this!?"

A muffled voice shouted from the inside of the closet. Alice popped out and held out a hanger as far away from her as possible, as if its bad fashion was contagious. I laughed. A pair of Jams shorts from 20 years ago that my mom had converted into a skirt with fringe hung from her finger.

"It was my moms. Charlie moved the stuff she left into my closet. I guess he didn't have the heart to get rid of it."

"It's awful," she moaned, "and smells of moth poo. I seriously need to overhaul your closet." She gingerly rehung my mothers skirt and starting putting away my new clothes.

"My closet is yours to command." I said with a wave of my hand. I nearly regretted my words as she grinned and jumped up and down.

"Fantastic! You're gonna eat your words Bella Swan. But, put frankly, you're not in any position to stop me!"

She nodded her head at my bandaged ankle and giggled. I smiled at her and picked at my pizza. Alice grabbed the last article of clothing off the floor and froze. Her face seemed to pale, a feat I didn't deem possible for her fair complexion. She stood quickly.

"I'm sorry Bella. I just remembered... I have to go. I'll have to exorcise your closet later." She grabbed her bag and headed towards the door, then turned back suddenly. "Hold on..." she grabbed the Jams out of the closet again. "Can I have this? Please say yes. "

I snorted.

"Sure. What are you going to do? Burn it as a effigy against bad fashion?"

She smiled.

"Nearly. " She shot me a hurried apologetic look and headed towards the door. "Text me Bella!" She called back. "I'm holding you to your word on that closet."

The front door clicked faintly as she left. She was gone... just like that. I heard her tires wrestle the gravel as she drove away.

_Was it something I said? Was the closet really that bad? It housed the musty leftovers of the 80's, but still..._

I glanced at the sweater Alice abandoned before she left. The sweater that was draped over the open book. The book that now had a page cleanly removed. I flipped through the book desperately but it was gone.

Carlisle's photo was gone.

Carlisle's POV

I sat in my office, my head resting in my folded hands. My mind was spinning, the world unfocused and hazy.

_Bella had dampened all my senses._

The sounds of the hospital faded into the memory of Bella's rhythmic heartbeat, her scent lingered in my nose, masking the clean, sterile smell of my office. The fair skin of her touch ghosted over mine and my lips still tingled with the heat of her kiss. I groaned, my pants growing tight at the memory of her hushed sighs and whimpers at my touch.

_She has changed my whole fucking world._

I was a consumed man. A broken man. Never in my life have I lost control, never have I given in to the primal instincts familiar to my kind. Until now, until Bella. It feel like she is the other half of me. I'm complete without her near; without her beside me, balancing me, my entire being falters and tips into a void of emptiness.

_Is this what it feels like to have a soul mate? Is this what I have been missing with Esme?_

I signed, my thoughts growing heavy and I ran a frustrated hand through me hair, disheveling its sleek state. A quiet knock sounded on my office door.

"Come in." I rasped. The door pushed open slowly and nurse Jessi poked her head in.

"Sorry to disturb you Dr. Cullen. Patient in room 115 needs a-" She stopped as she took in my rumpled appearance. I peeked at her from behind her hair. "Dr. Cullen? Are you ok?" She approached my desk cautiously.

"Fine..." I mumbled.

"You most certainly are not." She stood before me, hidden behind a clipboard and she stepped back as I reached for the charts. "Please Dr. Cullen. You are unwell. You need to get some rest. "

"I said I'm fine." I blurted, then winced at the sharpness of my tone.

"I've never seen you like this," she wavered. "Please. Go home... rest. Take care of yourself too, Doctor. You do so much for the hospital."

I sank my head in my hands again. I've worked double and triple shifts, never getting tired, never needing sleep. Yet one moment with Bella, one blissful instance in my existence, has left my immortal body exhausted. I needed to hunt. I needed to let my body lose control over at least one of its instincts, to take my mind off of her ever growing presence in my very being.

"Thanks Jessi... But no need to worry," I sighed. "I think I will go on home... I just- I can't-.. I need a-" I faltered over my words. "Just... thanks."

"No problem, Doctor," she said softly. "I hope you feel better."

_There's only one cure to this ailment and she's so far out of my reach._

I nodded at Jessi and gathered my coat and doctor's bag.

"Any emergency and you'd better call me." I said sternly, watching her blush.

"I will. Promise. " She smiled and pushed me out of the office door. "Now go home. You can't do everything, you know... you're only human."

_Only human. I wish._

I smirked at her and watched her flush deepen. I sensed her heat at her apex, but it no longer mattered. It was no longer a game to me. I have already found my prize.

_I just have to deserve her._

I stopped to shower before heading home; I couldn't risk her lingering on my lips in a house of vampires. The steam brought out the traces of her scent, besieging me in a warmth that teased my senses with her presence. I could no longer ignore the raw urging of my cock and took myself in hand, remembering the heat of her core resting against my needy length, and the gratifying friction she sparked as she moved and breathed against me. Only a few quickened strokes was all it took and I roared at my release, Bella's name tumbling from my lips as I emptied myself into my hand.

_Bella. My Bella._

I breathed heavy, resting my head against the shower wall, and tried to pull in the last of her as her scent started to dissipate through the foggy bathroom. I mourned the loss of Bella from my skin.

The drive home was quiet and well needed. I took it slow, obeying the mundane traffic laws for once. Bella's scent still lingered in the car and every time my nose caught a whiff my heart ached. This was torture, Hell on earth. Forget the painful transformation I endured. I would take that 100 times over again, in return for an unburdened heart.

It felt like I was home in no time. I parked my Benz and headed inside. Only one other presence rustled inside the house and my stomach sank low with remorse.

"I'm in the garden, Carlisle." I heard my wife whisper from across the house. "We need to talk."

_Fuck. _

A/N: Hey guys. It's me again. I hope you liked it! I'm know this chapter was not so heavy with CxB but Carlisle's wee needs a break now and then. :)

Reviews keep me going.

Love you all! *passes out items from a stolen bag of Carlisle's dirty laundry* WHO WANTS THE UNDERROOS?


	7. Chapter 7: Red Duct Tape My Heart

**A/N: Red Duct Tape Can Hold Almost Anything Together**

Good to hear from everyone! Omg I can't express how much I love hearing from everyone. Keeps me motivated. Keeps my Carlisle muse riding me hard. And we all know how good that can be. ;). This chapter is a bit longer but I just couldn't cut it down anymore. Anyways... see you at the end!

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**Chapter 7: **

Carlisle's POV

I took the stairs to the garden at a human pace. My thoughts flicked between relief at confronting my heavy heart, and the dread of hurting someone I still loved. Yes, I still loved her. A different kind of love than before, but it still existed. How could it not when she has been my constant friend, companion, and lover for decades past? I loathed the fact that she may be hurt in light of what has come to pass with my heart's wayward path.

"Crawling up those stairs isn't making this any easier, my dear." Her soft voice carried. "I have nothing but time."

I cringed and finished making my way to the garden. There she sat, pruning one of her rose bushes, looking ever the image of normalcy; perfection. She didn't even look up as I approached.

"Esme..." I started.

"Carlisle," she interrupted. "I'm going to make this brief. " Her eyes finally snapped to mine and the firm resolution in her eyes made me blink in surprise. I haven't seen her determination in years. "I've decided to visit the Denali's," she continued. "Alone." Her gaze softened as she stared at me. "Please don't feel like you've done something wrong. I just need time to think, time to find something in myself I'm missing. I don't know what I'm looking for yet, but I just need time." Her voice broke and her shoulders slumped.

I took her hand and slowly knelt down beside her.

"Esme..." I started again. "Things have been difficult between us for awhile now. I understand you needing time to yourself. Edward did the same thing, remember? We have the ability to live forever so we can't expect that everything will always remain unchanged.

"How can you be so understanding? I was so worried about breaking your heart." She pulled her hands from mine and covered her face. "I've been denying the distance that has grown between us because I didn't want to hurt you. " She peeked at me from behind her hands. "But the other day, when we made love, I felt so disconnected from your passion. Like it didn't even belong to me." She sighed and started picking at her roses again. "That's when I decided we need some time apart. I need to figure out what I want for my future."

"I do understand, Esme. I've felt it too. Take the time you need. Become who you feel you need to be; find your passion again."

She lowered her head, avoiding my face.

"What if it turns out my passion no longer lies with you?" she asked, hushed.

"What would you say if I asked you the same question?" I asked slowly. The moment seemed to stretch at the silence.

"If that is the case, I would want you to be happy." she said finally. "It would be difficult to see you with someone else, but I would be comforted knowing your eternity was one you took joy in living."

My chest felt ripped open and raw. A chance, a hope of being with Bella tingled it's way around the edges but I couldn't ignore the aching presence of its center. My 80 year marriage was on its way to an end.

"My answer is the same. " My throat caught on my words and she looked up at me.

"Oh, Carlisle... What do we tell the kids?"

"I'm sure they'll understand. I know they all remember what it is like to live without their soulmate."

"Soulmate? Do you really believe in that Carlisle?"

I paused, perhaps for too long.

"Yes." I said resolutely. "And if we aren't soulmates, we need to take time to try to find who we belong to. I've been looking into the soulmate theory and feel it holds validity." I stopped, changing the subject before she could question me further. "My only concern is how Edward will take this. He has been with us from the beginning. He's also been struggling with his bloodlust recently -"

"-with that one girl, Bella was her name?" Esme finished.

_Bella. Bellabellabellabellabella. _

"Right. He believes she is his singer."

_Little does he realize she sings to us both. Her blood sings to him. Her body sings to me. _

"Yet another strange vampire instinct..." Esme stated, smirking as she picked off more dying leaves. "This afterlife never ceases to amaze me." She looked at me, reflecting back a calm I've missed from her. "I'll talk to the family and leave tonight. I'm sure Alice has seen this coming anyways."

I chuckled and pulled her into a hug. Her scent was familiar and comforting, but her body against mine caused her to go rigid and she pulled away hastily.

"Don't make this harder than it already is," she pleaded.

I nodded and stood, brushing the garden dirt from my knees.

"I'm sorry, Esme. I never meant to hurt you when I chose you for this life."

She only bit her lip in response.

I'm going for a hunt." I said, noticing the beginnings of the aches in my body from hunger. "Will you join me, one last time?" She shook her head.

"I'll probably be gone by the time you return," she whispered. I grabbed her firmly by the chin and turned her face to mine.

"Whatever happens Esme, know that I have cherished our memories and I will always have room in my family for you... and yours." I kissed her on the forehead and leapt from the garden to the adjacent forest. I ran hard, letting the trees envelop me, as everything Esme faded from my senses. I ran until I couldn't smell her, until I couldn't taste her in the air, until the sounds of her soft sighs faded with the wind in the trees.

The first deer was a victim of my rage. Rage that the simple life I once lived was up heaved in a cloud of confusion, hurting people in its wake. I bit the deer head clean off and wasted too much blood on the ground. The second deer paid for the change in me. The change that came as sudden as rogue wave, flipping my world upside down and left me clinging to a human teenage girl. That deer was drained in seconds and its body discarded with a growl of frustration. The third deer fell with my pain and I heaved tearless dry sobs as I drank greedily. I lay on the forest floor sated, and let my eyes close and my body relax, sinking into my state of meditation as time slipped away. I returned to the house the following sunrise and knew immediately that Esme had gone.

My heart ached, not for her absence, but the fact that it brought me relief in its wake.

* * *

Bella's POV

I returned to school on crutches. Charlie wasn't happy about my injuries, but luckily I played it off well enough that he didn't ask questions. Monday and Tuesday were the sunniest days I had seen out of Forks and I noticed Alice's absence from class. My texts to her went unanswered.

"Hey Angela?" I asked at lunch on Wednesday, yet another day where the Cullens were absent. Angela was one of the few people that I got along with in this school and I often joined her and her friends for lunch. Today was one of those days. "Have you seen you seen any of the Cullens at all the past couple of days?"

She raised her eyebrow at me in interest.

"Ohhhh... another fan of the Cullens, huh? I swear everyone has a crush on at least one of them." She blushed and leaned closer. "I'm an Emmett fan myself. And my mom has it good for Big Bad Daddy C. He's turned her into the biggest hypochondriac. She goes to the hospital at least twice a month with some made up symptoms just so she can see him."

"Carlisle?" I flushed as my tongue danced around his name.

"Yeah. He is pretty hot. On sunny days like this, they usually all take off for a camping trip or something. She glanced over at the empty table the Cullen kids usually occupy. "Lucky bastards. They've got more money than they know what to do with. They live in some sort of mega mansion on the outskirts of town, drive the newest cars, and I swear some of Alice's clothes could pay for my college tuition."

I snorted. "No joke. You should see how much she shops." Angela grabbed my arm and stared at me, eyes nearly bulging.

"Wait... you've been shopping with her?!"

"Yeah..." I said slowly. "We went last Saturday. It was... interesting... but fun."

"Oh my God." Angela gasped. "They have never let anyone into their circle of perfection before. I can't believe she took you shopping! I mean this as nicely as I can, but... you bitch!" She laughed.

I smirked and glanced once more at the Cullen's empty table . I wish I could avoid school on sunny days.

The rest of the week seemed to drag by. Biology was nowhere near as fun without Alice's usual snarky commentary. Each lunch break was spent casting looks across the cafeteria to the empty table. and there was still no response from Alice. Over the weekend I willed myself against texting Carlisle, the paper with his number constantly burning in the back of my mind, burning in my pocket each time I picked up my phone. I resisted, but I ached for him, ached to hear his voice again. He could say anything, 'Here Bella, I brought you some broccoli casserole,' and I would melt into a puddle of tickled ears and female arousal.

When Monday came around again, I was finally able to leave the crutches at home. I walked into science class and stopped short as I saw Alice's petite frame leaning against the lab table. She glanced over at me as I set my bag down.

"Hey Bella," she said softly.

"Hey." I was puzzled over her pensive stated. I've never experienced Alice in a solemn moment. It was a little unnerving.

"Sorry about last week. I didn't mean to run out on you like that. And I didn't get me phone back until this morning, so I wasn't able to text you back."

"You get grounded or something?"

She laughed, some of the light returning to her eyes.

"No. Emmett chucked it out in the woods. He was angry about... well he was mad. And my poor phone happened to be the closest thing to him." She sighed and held up her phone. The screen was broken and there were strips of red duct tape overlapping on the back.

"Geez."

"I'll get him back," she said. "It will be epic. I know it." She grinned. "My new one is on its way. It just takes forever to get things shipped to Forks." She stuck out her tongue in mock protest and turned to look out the window.

"What was he so upset about?" I asked. She turned her gaze back to me and her eyes reflected a sadness that was beyond her age.

"Esme left." Her voice was soft. "I knew it was coming, but it still was heartbreaking to see her go. I hope she finds what she is looking for."

"Esme?"

"Carlisle's wife."

_Oh. Oh fuck. _

"She... she left him?"

_Oh God. Did she find out that I kissed her husband, that I had him pressed against me in my bed? Did he tell her?_

My mind whirled a million revolutions and Alice took in my face curiously.

"Yea. He will be ok though Bella. They both will. This has kind of been a long time coming. It was still hard to watch it happen." She sank her head into her crossed arms on the table.

She was quiet for the rest of the class, barely talking, which was exactly opposite from what people normally expected from her and I caught several confused glances in our direction. The bell rang and Alice tugged lightly on my arm.

"Come sit with me for lunch, Bella."

I cast a look at Angela as we passed her table and smiled as she gaped at me.

"Jazz, Bella is going to join us for lunch."

Jasper Hale, a quiet soul who always sat with perfect posture, loose blonde curls framing his face and dark eyes. His gaze was haunted and always seemed to be calculating every movement in the room. His eyes met mine as Alice took her seat. She slipped her arm in his and he visibly relaxed at her touch.

"A pleasure to have you join us, Bella." He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. I could see why Alice adored him.

I took the other seat next to Alice and glanced over at Emmett, who seemed to tower over the table. He was broad in a way that would make any girl swoon and when he smiled, his dimples were deep enough to snag the corners of the coldest heart. He grinned at me.

"Nice to see a new face! I get tired of seeing these same mugs all the time... Ow!" He rubbed the back of his head where Rosalie had smacked him.

Rosalie was unworldly pale with platinum blonde hair and flawless skin. She always looked like she had just stepped off of a runway, with her perfectly tailored clothes and impeccable style. She always had a hostile stare and so far, Emmett has the been the only one, at least that I've noticed, that can make her smile.

None of the Cullens ate lunch. Emmett ripped apart a pizza but not even the smallest drop of marinara touched his lips. Rosalie and Alice each pushed around a salad, but never lifted the fork to their mouths and the only thing Jasper had in front of him was an unopened can of cola.

Maybe it was because he was too busy bantering with Jasper.

I felt more relaxed and comfortable than I had in weeks and I sank into the easiness of their company.

"Bella!" Alice interjected Emmett's and Jasper's argument on some television show. "You should come over this weekend! A sleepover! Rosalie and I need an excuse to buy new pajamas. Oh, pretty please?"

My jumped from face to face as I considered my response. Rosalie's glare turn to amusement as Emmett waggled his eyebrows at her, murmuring something about racy negligees. Alice radiated pure excitement as she grinned at me. Jasper's face was a wash of calm and I smiled.

"Sure."

Alice clapped and began making plans. I tried to listen, but the only thought that I could focus on was that for one night, I would sleep under the same roof as Carlisle; For one night I would share in his private world. I felt my palms get clammy and a throb of heat center between my legs as I remembered the solidity of Carlisle's frame against my own.

His kiss still haunted me and my lips craved for seconds, thirds, an eternity, anything as long as it was more of him. I crossed my legs and flexed, trying to dull the ache that was building. A wave of pleasure rushed through me and I shivered. Jasper coughed suddenly and straightened, bringing me out of my reverie.

_In the middle of the cafeteria? Really Bella? _

He leaned over and whispered frantically to Alice, whose eyes twinkled. Her bemused expression flicked at me as Jasper hurriedly left the table.

"Please excuse me, Bella." He said as he stood.

I blushed.

_I shouldn't be embarrassed. There's no way they could know... right?_

Rosalie and Emmett were chatting about some new car in production and Alice was gazing off wistfully.

_Right. No way. _

* * *

It was Wednesday. The week passed so slow when thinking about the weekend. It was getting harder and harder to resist the pull of his number, which has never left my pocket. 'Call me if you need anything' he had said.

_What if all I need is him?_

I continued to sit with the Cullens for lunch. I felt guilty when I saw Angela's hurt expression as I passed her table for the third time, but the pull of the Cullens were just too strong; I loved sitting with them. Emmett and Jasper's daily squabbles were a highlight. Even Rosalie had started warming up to me a bit.

The final bell rang and I quickly made my way to me behemoth Chevy truck. I couldn't wait to get home, throw on my favorite hoodie, which still smelt like Carlisle, and curl up with a book.

A tall figure was leaning up against the orange frame of my truck and I tightened my hold on my bag as I approached. I would recognize that profile anywhere.

"Edward?"

"Bella." His eyes caught mine as I unlocked my truck. His voice, was light and musical, vastly different from the tense hostility of our last encounter. He grinned at me.

"Hey." I opened the truck door and tossed my bag inside.

"Wait. Hold on a second." He grabbed the door before I could climb inside. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was rude when we last spoke."

I crossed my arms and aimed my chin at him.

"Yeah. You were. But... apology accepted. Thanks." I smiled at him and moved to open the door again.

"Bella, wait..."

He took another step towards me and met the resistance of the truck as I tried to back up. His face was set with determination.

"Please be careful."

"What? Driving home? I've done it before, you know. Even sped a little a time or two."

"Not just that," he said. "You really shouldn't spend so much time with my family."

_And here I thought he was apologizing for being a jerk. _

I pushed the door against him and climbed in.

"Bella... That came out wrong. It has nothing against you. It's just not safe..."

"Why?"

His jaw clenched. "I can't tell you that right now."

I slammed the door closed, narrowly missing his fingers. "Then I can make my own decisions. Thanks."

The engine roared to life as I turned the ignition. I could see his mouth moving in some sort of apology, but I ignored him and drove away.

_Who does he think he is? His family has been nicer to me than he ever has. _

I sped home, my anger heavy against the gas pedal. I slammed the front door and ran upstairs, throwing on the hoodie in a rush. Carlisle's scent surrounded me, enveloping me like an embrace. I started to relax. It amazed me how much he affected me in such a short amount of time. I pulled out his number again, the paper folded over several times and starting to show wear. I could not resist anymore. My soul longed to be connected to him again, in any way possible.

I typed the number into my phone and stared at a blank text. What do I say? My heartbeat thudded heavily as I slowly keyed a message.

***Hey... it's Bella. How are you?***

The moment seemed to freeze after I hit the send button. As the seconds passed, I started to regret it but there was no taking it back. My heart leapt as my phone buzzed and I saw his response.

***Bella. I've been ok. Better now that I've heard from you. How about you? How's your ankle?***

The world ceased to exist except for the link between me and him.

***I've been ok. Ankle is pretty much healed. Alice told me what happened with your wife... I'm sorry.***

***Don't be. I miss you.***

He misses me? Does he long for me as much as I do him?

***I miss you too. I hope to see you soon.***

***Soon seems so far away.***

***I'm probably coming over for a sleepover with Alice and Rosalie this weekend. Still have to clear it with Charlie.***

***Really? Alice never tells me anything...***

***Haha. Well they always say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.***

***If that's the case, I will have to ask for your forgiveness the next time I see you.***

***Why's that?***

***You'll see.***

***Drat.***

Oh my god, did I really just say 'drat'?

***Haha. I can't believe you said drat. Bella... I'm sorry but I will text you later. Surgery is calling.***

***Bye. Go save lives. :)***

I tossed my phone on the bed and grinned. My heart was dancing inside my chest, a rhythm of giddiness and laughter. In 10 minutes, a few words from Carlisle had reversed my whole demeanor. I curled up on my bed and pulled out Sense and Sensibility from my nightstand, losing myself in a world or soft empire waist dresses and Colonel's with pianos.

* * *

Carlisle's POV

Bella had texted me *Go save lives.*. I saved three. Texting her, even as brief as it was, filled me with a fresh sense of life. It was another affirmation of how incomplete I felt without her. And now, thanks to Alice, she knew Esme had gone. I didn't know whether to be mad or relieved. The house has breathed easier since she left, the air no longer filled with stale tension and denial. Instead it was fresh, as though the windows were thrown open after a long shut in winter.

_And Bella was my summer breeze_.

The rest of the family noticed the change, the disappearance of the tension helping to ease the adjustment. Jasper noticed immediately. He had the gift of feeling out other's emotions and influencing them in return. The constant strain of feeling my marriage distance put him on an irritable edge, so he embraced the softer environment. Alice was saddened by the loss, but had already known it was coming and had time to prepare herself. Rosalie and Emmett took it harder. They have always adored Esme and felt her absence the most. Rosalie blamed me, I know she did, and Emmett became so angry when he left, he chucked Alice's phone halfway across the town. Edward still had yet to reappear, thought the Denali's in Alaska had informed me he had left their home days ago.

But this was all just a blip in my lifeline, a line that had no end. This will all pass eventually, the hurt and anger fading into time.

I gazed at my desk where my wedding band sat in its box. I had taken it off, but I didn't have the strength in me to get rid of it. Not yet.

A small knock broke my gaze and Alice poked her head in.

"Hey Carlisle. Can I come in?"

I snapped the ring box closed.

"Sure." She stepped in and closed the door with a soft click. "So I hear Bella was invited to a sleepover? Here?"

She grinned.

"Yup. It needs to happen. It's going to happen. I've seen it."

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Don't worry Carlisle. By the end of the weekend you'll be thanking me. And showering me with gifts." She handed me a catalogue. "I circled the things I like. You're welcome."

I laughed and swatted her with the rolled up magazine.

"On a more serious note... we may have a small problem."

"What's that?" I asked.

"This was in Bella's room. I know she's seen it." She handed me a slip of paper and I unfolded it.

The air whooshed out of my lungs as I stared at a picture of my own face. It was taken during a political rally for the Forks mayor. Her scent was all over the page. I could practically trace the patterns her fingers had drawn over the picture, hovering and looping around my face.

_My unchanging face. _

"She's going to find out about us eventually, Carlisle. I just thought we had more time. She's also starting to notice other things about us too, like us missing school on sunny days and our lunch habits. She will be confronting you soon. I just wish I could see how it plays out." Alice was wringing her hands gently, a habit she has always had when the future made her nervous.

"So what do you think I should do?"

"If she asks... just be honest with her."

I sank back into my chair.

"How do you do it, Alice? How do you adjust to change so easily? I feel guilty for changing everyone's lives just because I have lost myself to a young human girl."

Alice smiled softly and knelt before me.

"I'm not saying that every change is easy for me. But when I'm able to see the ultimate outcome... it does make it much more tolerable."

"Please, Alice... tell me how this will all work out. Right now Rosalie isn't speaking to me, Emmett is far angrier than someone with his strength should be, and Edward..." My voice cracked. "Edward is missing and I don't even know if he is aware of what happened with Esme. My family is falling apart... and it's all my fault."

She closed her eyes and was quiet for a few moments.

"I can't. I'm sorry Carlisle. I know you are tormented right now and that you are hurting, the family is hurting, but it is not your fault and this too will pass. Trust me... I am truly sorry that I can't ease your mind. But I mean it when I say that I can't tell you."

She stared at me and bit her lip.

"I can tell you something else, if you like... about Esme... if you're ready for it."

"Ok... I think I can handle it. Hit me."

"She has spent a week with the Denali's, then has gone off on her own."

"Esme has become... a nomad?"

"Yes. For now. But more importantly, she has decided not to follow our diet anymore. Her mind has been made up since she tasted her first human."

My chest ached with disappointment, but she was no longer a part of me, of my family. I had to let her go.

"She makes her own decisions now." I said sadly."I can't expect her to follow the lifestyle that I have always asked of her when we are no longer together."

Alice nodded and embraced me in a hug.

"It will all be worth it in the end. I have seen such happiness in your future. A soulmate is a blindingly blissful thing and nothing will compare with the completion you feel when you are joined." She bounced towards the door and winked at me. "Text her. Right now.. and don't forget my catalogue!"

I heard her leave as I glanced at my phone. Text her how much I am eroding without her. Text her how much I wanted her, all soft curves and warm whispers, beneath me as I undressed her, revealing her perfection like a lace wrapped present.

_Oh God. Bella... lace. _

My mind immediately painted a picture of Bella, planes of creamy skin contrasting against the intricacies of lace, lying back in bed. Her eyes call to me and her mouth plays a bow of seduction, beckoning me to join her in a world where we live and die for pleasure.

_Mmfph. _

I hold my phone with unsteady hands as I type her name in my phone, ignoring the sudden straining of my cock in my pants.

***Bella. It's me.***

I felt like I was a fucking teenager again, the weight of my chest flip flopping around as I waited for her response.

***Hey you. How was your day?***

***Not horrible. Removed a burst appendix just in time. That's always exciting.***

***Eww... gross. But yay for your surgeon skills. And your clever hands.***

***Clever hands? You're funny. ***

***I miss your hands.***

***Oh really?***

***They are marvelous hands.***

I paused, not sure what direction Bella was going. The phone buzzed again as she continued.

***Especially when they are wrapped around me. ;)***

_Little minx. _

***You're making it difficult to keep this conversation at a friendly level.***

***Oh yea? It's pretty hard, huh?***

***Painfully so.***

Maybe even more now after Bella's flirty texts.

***-blushes- Oh Carlisle. ***

***You look cute when your face pinks up like that.***

***Haha. Hey... I gotta go. My eyelids are losing a battle with gravity and I have a Calc test in the morning.***

***Sweet dreams, Bella. Thanks for making me smile.***

***Anytime. :) Goodnight, Carlisle.***

I slid my phone back in my pocket, flinching as its weight tugged the fabric tighter around my cock.

_This is getting fucking ridiculous._

Was Bella this affected by me? If she really is my soulmate, does she feel the void of my absence as much as I felt hers? Are we just two halves of a magnet, pushing and straining to get close to each other?

I couldn't wait to see her. This weekend was too far away. could I get away with sneaking to see her now? Just to watch her sleep for a few moments? A few moments to ease the torment of her separation. Was that too creepy?

I didn't care.

_ Fuck it. _

I ran through the woods and quietly approached her home. Her window was upstairs on the left and I could hear the gentle drum of her heat. Her breathing flowed deep and even as she slept. I felt myself relax as the distance between us shortened. I felt giddy as I jumped to her open window, landing silently inside. I had barely a second to observe her sleeping form when I suddenly heard a hiss beside me.

"Carlisle?"

I whirled around and saw Edward, still curled in an offensive stance, prepared to rip my throat out. His face was pulled into an expression of bewilderment as we stood over the foot of Bella's bed.

"Edward? What are you doing here."

He pulled back into a relaxed position and looked at me warily.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I'm just checking up on Bella."

I filled my mind with thoughts of her falling, her swollen twisted ankle and her bruised face.

"What happened?" He asked, concern heavy in his tone.

"She fell down the stairs."

I kept my thoughts of everything else that happened that day clear from my mind. After nearly a century with Edward, one learns how to try to guard their thoughts. His mind reading ability has caused many problems, revealed many secrets, in the past.

"So why are you checking on her in the middle of the night. And her ankle looks fine now..." He was bending over her now, gently looking at her foot, which was stuck out of the tangled covers.

"I don't have to explain my every action to you." I growled. The sight of his fingers brushing against her sleeping skin put me on edge.

_Mine. _

"What?" Edward asked, straightening and approaching me with a glare.

_Fuck. _

"Nothing." I smiled and tried to brush it off. "So you still haven't told me what you are doing here."

He turned back to look at her and smirked.

"I like watching her. Her mind is silent for me. It's an intriguing and refreshing reprieve from the normal swarm of idiotic chatter."

We both froze as she turned in her sleep, flipping off her blankets. She rolled over and nuzzled into her pillow.

_Annnd apparently Bella doesn't wear pants to bed. _

The room flooded with her scent, heavy with sleep, and my cock responded accordingly. Her pale skin looked ethereal in the moonlight, reflecting over the round of her ass and I struggled to keep the thoughts from my mind, the thoughts of how much I wanted to pounce her, press myself against the back of her, grinding and nipping the back of her neck until a breathy moan escaped the deliciousness of her mouth.

_Fuck. _

I avoided Edward's gaze.

_Malaria, Mastoiditis, Melanonychia, Myelofibrosis..._

"You fucking liar!" he hissed. He approached me, his eyes scorching with hostility. "You want her and don't you dare lie again. I saw it. I saw what you wanted to do to her!"

"I won't lie." I met his gaze coolly, ice against fire. Calm against storm. "I've reacted this way since I first met her. She's different than anyone else I've ever met. I never meant to hurt you Edward, but I have the belief that she is my soulmate."

"Soulmate?" Edward scoffed. "Fuck you, Carlisle. You know that I had feelings for her."

"I truly am sorry. But I do care for her. Immensely."

He glared at me and then took a step to stand between me and Bella.

"You stay the hell away from her, Carlisle. She doesn't belong to you."

I wanted to fight. I felt the hairs along my back prickle and my muscles flex in an eagerness to prove their power. I would fight to the death for her; I would die trying to make her mine. And if the situation required it, against the very grain of my nature, I would rip, bite, and tear away any resisting force that deemed to keep us apart. But now was not the time nor the place to start a fight, especially with her only feet away, caught in the crosshairs.

"I'll leave for now, Edward." I backed up towards the window. "But you don't get to make my decisions for me." I leapt from the window, stopping only to listen once more to the melodic beat of her heart, before turning to zip thru the trees.

The world felt like it was ripping as I left my heart miles behind, still tucked in the sleeping embrace of a beautiful human girl.

* * *

**A/N: **So what did you think? Next chapter is already written too. I feel so productive. Please review! I know everyone asks for reviews but they feel so yummy.

Coming up: Slumber party! Fuuuullll of drama and those panty wetting Carlisle gazes.


	8. Chapter 8: A Kiss Away From Burning

**Chapter 8: A Kiss Away From Burning Your Wings**

A/N: So I moved things around a bit and there's not as much drama this chapter as I originally intended... but I did add a few more limes. Carlisle limeade limes. It's a long chapter so please consider it a step for apology for the time it took to update.

I also don't really have a Beta, so please forgive any painful errors. Editing with a toddler is nigh impossible.

Many thanks to all who have left me reviews. I adore you.

Aiiiight. 'Ere we go!

See you at the end!

* * *

Bella's POV

It was finally Friday. The sun made another unusual appearance so the Cullen's table was empty once again.

_Odd. _

I drove to the store from school, planning dinner in my head. Charlie had the night off tonight so I wanted to make him a dinner that didn't come from the diner or a freezer.

I picked up steaks, sweet potatoes and kale at the market. I loved cooking. Combining ingredients and coming up with creative flavors was relaxing for me. I tenderized the steaks thoroughly, venting out my week's frustrations into the tender meat. The sweet potatoes were cut into fries and the kale prepped to be baked for chips. I let the steaks level to room temperature while the fries backed and ran up to my bedroom. I was getting a little cold and needed my favorite sweatshirt. I froze as soon as I walked through the door.

A large gift bag sat neatly on my bed and I hastily grabbed the card that lay beside it.

_Who the hell broke into my house?_

I smirked as I recognized Alice's loopy script.

'Hey Bella- Used your key again, hope you don't mind. I just didn't want to leave this one on the porch! Carlisle wanted you to have this. He pulled it out of the vault a few days ago. I know you'll love it! Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Come over whenever! ~Alice'

Another gift? Pulled out of the VAULT?!

I hesitantly pulled out the massive accumulation of tissue paper. A wooden box lay at the bottom and I pulled it up. It was heavy and I had to use both arms to lift it up. A small key and another note was attached to the top. This note made my heart skip.

'Bella. I wanted you to have this. It was my mother's. I have been holding onto it for years, never being able to imagine it having another owner. Then I met you. -Always. Carlisle.'

My hands shook slightly as I pressed the key into the lock. It slid in with a smooth click and the box top lifted. Inside, on a bed of raised velvet, was a gorgeous necklace. I could almost hear my heart racing through the room. I lifted it from the case gingerly; if I were to jostle if too hard, it would disintegrate. The setting sun embraced it, refracting rainbow prisms around the room. It was simple, not too overdone, and absolutely breathtaking. There was an arch of silver from which a single stone was mounted in the wide center. There were vintage swirls and accents carved into the silver which angled its way to a chain, which joined in a clasp that also had one small stone embedded. I have never been one much for jewelry, but this fit my taste perfectly. I couldn't believe the generosity of Carlisle's gift. I snapped the antique around my neck and stood back to look in the mirror. I rolled my eyes as tears trickled their way forward.

_Gah. I'm such a girl. _

The oven timer went off downstairs, breaking my self-admiration in the mirror.

_Oh shit. Dinner. _

I ran downstairs and finished dinner in a whirl, the weight of the necklace being the only thing keeping me from floating away with happiness.

Charlie came home just as the steaks were finished with their 'after sear' sit.

"Smells amazing, Bells." He shrugged off his jacket and police shirt and came over to inspect the dinner. I handed him the plate with the largest steak and he sat down at the table. He picked up a kale chip and looked at it like it came from an alien planet.

"It's a kale chip, dad. Try it." I joined him at the table and popped one in my mouth with a crunch. Perfect.

"Kale? Isn't that some sort of lettuce?" He stared at me with his eyebrows nearly lifting off his head.

"Just try it." I laughed. He ate it, the chip crunching satisfactorily.

"Hrmfph." He replied as he dug into his steak. We ate in silence, our mouths busy chewing, until he waved his fork at me a few minutes later. "Where'd ya get the necklace?" He asked from around a rather large bite of steak.

"Gross, Dad. And it was a gift. From the Cullen's." He grinned and swallowed.

"Sorry, Bells. It's nice... looks good on you. Hanging out with the Cullen's a lot recently, huh?"

"I like them." I nibbled another fry. Charlie speared 5 fries at once on his fork.

"You're going over for a sleepover tomorrow?"All five fries vanished in one bite.

"Yea... with Alice and Rosalie."

"Any adult supervision?"

"I think Carlisle will be there." I felt my face flush as his name echoed in my mind. Charlie was obliviously engrossed in his steak as he cut off another bite. He nodded his head in approval.

"Carlisle's a good man. Forks is lucky to have him. Too bad about his wife though... he didn't deserve that." Charlie's face darkened slightly. "Having your wife walk out on you is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I don't quite understand why she did it. Any girl would be lucky to have him."

Any girl?

I felt my face get hot again. If only Charlie continued to like Carlisle after...

_After what, Bella? After he finds out that he was in your room, on your bed, making your world spin with his kisses? That his teenage daughter has it bad for an older, still unfortunately married, man? You're hilarious. _

"Mmmmm." Charlie pushed his empty place back and patted his tummy. "Delicious dinner, Bells. How did I ever survive without you.?"

"Hungrymans and half-off Wednesday at the diner." I grinned at him and stood up, taking our plates to the kitchen sink. Charlie came up behind me and took my dishrag.

"I'll cover KP tonight, hun. Go get your homework done before you go to the Cullen's tomorrow. I know you girls aren't going to get anything done once you're all hanging out."

I smiled and gave him a quick hug.

"Thanks, Dad." I headed towards the stairs.

"Oh, and Bells?" Charlie called up from the kitchen. "Can you make more of those lettuce chips next time?"

_Ha. _

"Of course!" I called back as I flounced into my room. The jewelry box still lay on my bed and I traced it's edges. The necklace felt like woven magic against my collar and I pulled out my phone to finally thank Carlisle. Homework shmomework.

***Carlisle?***

***La mia Bella.***

***Are you free? Can I call you?***

***Absolutely.***

My hands felt jittery as I hit the call button on my cell. It rang once.

"Bella."

His voice sent me spiraling inside of myself until I was nothing but a molten core.

"Hi." It was barely above a squeak.

_Pull yourself together. _

"Everything ok?" His voice deepened, full of concern.

"Yeah. Just floored by the gift I found in my room today."

He laughed, a symphony of music and I flushed deeper. Thank God he couldn't see my face.

"It belongs to you now. I hope you liked it."

"It's incredible. I love it." My fingers crept along my collar and traced the lines of the chain.

"I'm glad. I can't imagine it on anyone else."

"It belonged to your mother?"

"Yeah." He sounded wistful. "I don't really remember her. She died when I was very young."

"I'm sure it was beautiful on her. I'm honored by your gift. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I wish I could give you more." By his tone I knew he was talking about more than just the necklaces.

"It's more than enough." I said softly.

"For now." His voice cracked. There was a long silence that stretched the distance between our physical bodies. It was comforting as we listened to the sounds of each other's world, sounds of soft breaths and faded background noise."Are you wearing it?" He asked. His usual timbre was broken and heavy with an emotion I couldn't quite place.

"Yes." I whispered.

"I bet it looks astounding on you." His voice deepened and I felt arousal quicken to my core. I gasped softly, biting back a moan. "I wish I could see it. Will you wear it over tomorrow?"

"Won't everyone wonder about it?"

"I don't care."

"Then I will." I heard laughter and the sounds of people shouting in the background.

"I have to go." He murmured softly. "Until then, mia amore."

"Until then. Goodnight Carlisle." His name left my lips with a smile.

"Sweet dreams." He whispered. The phone clicked as it disconnected.

_Only if they're of you. _

Tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

My truck rumbled as I made my way to the Cullen's house. Alice had texted me her address earlier this morning. She had said they lived on the outskirts, but I had been driving away from town for the past 10 minutes.

_Outskirts... middle of the woods... same thing in Forks. _

Carlisle's gift once again sat against my collarbone, its presence bringing me a welcome sense of comfort. I couldn't wait to see him.

_Also Alice_.

I had to remind myself. This isn't about your silly teenage hormones and the tantalizing older man they find themselves gravitating around. You are here for girly bonding time.

I finally pulled into their driveway, gaping as I followed the road through the trees. Their house was enormous. My old Chevy truck, rusted and dinged was an eyesore clashing against the modern perfect angles of their house. Not a speck of moss or mildew glistened on the paint and the pavement was completely devoid of any cracks or weeds. It looked like it came straight out of an architecture magazine.

_Perfect... just like everything else about them. _

The door opened before I could knock and Alice bounded out, throwing her arms around me in a hug.

"Bella! So glad you came early!"

She was practically skipping in circles around me as we made our way inside.

_Holy shit. _

And I thought the outside was nice.

The house was beautiful with huge ceiling to floor windows and wide open floor plans. The furniture and woods were dark and polished with bright color accents of decor. There were pieces here and there that one could tell were from ages past and filled with history. The cloud covered daylight danced on the surfaces and floor, gleaming off the wood of the piano that rested in the corner. The whole place smelled like clean earth. It felt like home.

"We'll be staying in the game room. Even if we don't play anything, it will irritate boys. " She giggled and grabbed my hand, heading down a long hallway. The house was silent aside from our encroaching steps.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as I stared at the photos lining the hall. There were mostly landscapes, expertly depicting the oddities of the earth's beauty. I recognized a few locations but was pulled along before I got the chance to study them.

"Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett are out getting you- er-us, snacks. Edward went out hunting this weekend and Carlisle still hasn't come home from the hospital yet."

"Hunting? I wouldn't think that was Edward's thing."

"Yea..." Alice said slowly, smirking. "We all enjoy hunting to some degree. But Edward is pouting and wanted to get away so he's on his own this time." We reached the game room and I stood in silent awe. "I know," Alice sighed, "It's a bit much in my opinion, but the guys like it." She crinkled her nose at the massive 90 inch flat screen TV. Charlie would shit a brick if he could watch the Mariners game on it. A costly sound system was positioned around the room , which accommodated two sectionals and a lounger. I set my bag down where sleeping bags, pillows and blankets were already stacked neatly, and sat on one of the sectional corners. It was like a fucking cloud.

"So why is Edward pouting?" I asked.

Alice took a seat opposite of me and sat criss-cross on the cushion. She raised her eyebrows.

"He's been with Esme and Carlisle the longest... he may be taking the separation harder than the rest of us. Things have been rather difficult for him recently."

_Is that why he didn't want me around his family? But why wouldn't it be safe?_

"The necklace looks beautiful on you." Alice stated, grinning at the glimmers of silver around my neck.

"Thanks... I still can't believe he gave me such a gift." I ducked my head to try to hide my blush.

"I can." Alice replied gently. I met her gaze and she winked.

_What? Was Alice ok with me and Carlisle being... whatever the hell we are?_

The sound of doors slamming open in the house made her look up and voices stirred the quiet of the house.

"I bet you, Jazz. I bet you a thousand bucks, that Bella won't eat a single thing you picked." Emmett's voice broke through the halls.

"Doesn't matter... they all taste like crap."

"Shhh... Rose! Bella's here!" The voices turned into fierce hushed whispers and then suddenly Emmett strode into the room.

"Bella! Good to see you! We've got snacks!" He held up four grocery bags proudly, each one stuffed to the brim with food.

"Errrm... Thanks Emmett."

He set the snacks near one of the couches and stretched, knuckles cracking. He shot me a lopsided grin.

"So... whose ass am I gonna kick first in Wii tennis?"

"Emmett!" Alice pouted." This was going to be girl time."

"You're just afraid I'm going to annihilate you this time." He bounced on his feet, smirking.

"Hey... what are you talking about?" Alice jumped off the couch. "I whooped your butt last time!" Emmett tossed her another remote.

"Betcha can't do it again."

Alice thunked him in the arm.

"Challenge accepted."

Emmett was a horrible loser. I watched, bemused, as he was beaten soundly by Alice, Jasper, and then Rosalie.

"In your face!" Rosalie shouted, jumping up and down as she scored another point. It was entertaining to watch them play. Their bodies were perfectly fluid and in sync. They both moved with a grace I've envied. It was like they could anticipate each other's movements.

"Your turn Bella!" Emmett boomed. "I gotta win against someone."

I grinned and took Rosalie's remote as we traded places. She grinned at me.

"Kick his ass." She whispered.

Emmett was not only a horrible loser, he was an impeccably horrible loser. I beat him, 4 rounds against his one. He howled and chucked his remote, which happened to fly out the window.

"Stop throwing crap, Emmett!" Rosalie chided as she smacked him in the arm. "Alice still hasn't gotten the replacement phone due from your last raging."

"Sorry Bella." Emmett looked embarrassed. I laughed softly.

"That's ok. Maybe next time you'll actually win." I stuck my tongue at him and giggled as he feigned a pout.

"Maybe if Emmitt wasn't so bulky, the Wii sensor wouldn't get confused as to why a boulder is playing tennis." Jasper commented from the couch. Alice was seated in his lap and she snickered.

"Emmett, can you go retrieve the remote so Jazz and I can play. Pretty please?"

"Hope it's in one piece!" Emmett grinned sheepishly and headed outside.

The wall rumbled a bit and Alice clapped.

"That's be the garage! Carlisle's home!"

_Carlisle. _

I almost forgot he's be here.

_Almost. _

I felt my heart quicken as the car door slammed. I scanned the room rapidly and caught Alice's quizzical gaze. Everything seemed to move in slow motion and I could feel his presence before he had entered the room and I flushed. I felt overheated and dizzy.

"You ok, Bella?" Jasper asked softly.

"Yeah. Thanks." I didn't even dare look him directly as he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Hey guys!" His voice sounded through the room, shooting straight through me.

"Hey!" The group resounded. Except me. My tongue seemed frozen to my mouth.

_Oh God. This was a bad idea. A very bad idea. _

Everyone will see that I can't function properly if he's in a twenty foot radius. My eyes flicked up at him and saw that he was looking at me. I glanced away, my face burning. I felt heat rush through my body, heightening the arousal that had started building the moment he parked his car.

"Bella." His voice . "Good to see you."

I managed a nod. "You too."

And it was good to see him. He looked damn good too. He was wearing a black band t-shirt and faded jeans, the snug fabric cutting him into a perfect figure. They curved around him in such a way that enhanced his physique, hugging around the arc of his shoulders and the flex of his bicep, tapering down his torso, and smoothing themselves down the front of his thighs. Set drool level to maximum.

"Wii, huh? Did everyone beat Emmett yet?" He laughed and moved to take a seat beside me on the couch. I kept my gaze downward as I felt his weight shift the cushions next to mine.

_He smells amazing. _

My body physically ached to close the distance between us and the air seemed to crackle with our restraint. I fought the urge to leap into his arms and straddle him, my lips marking him as mine.

"Even Bella beat him." Alice chimed in.

Emmett chose that moment to stroll back into the room, tossing the Wii remote back at Alice.

"Nah... I let her win." He grinned.

"No... You're just that bad at Wii tennis." Jasper called from the couch. Emmett shrugged.

"Not my fault. Maybe we need a bigger TV."

The rest of the Cullens laughed and Rosalie wrapped her arms around his large frame, whispering in his ear. He broke into a wide smile.

"Rose and I are gonna head out for awhile. Gonna get some grub."

"What about all the food you got?" I protested.

"Chump change, Bella." Emmett said, patting his tummy. "I have the appetite of a hungry bear."

"Sorry for leaving, guys." Rosalie said, looking at Alice. "I'll try to be back soon."

"No problem." Alice waved them off with her hand. "I know that Emmett can eat circles around us. Plus now Jasper and I can get in a real game of tennis."

"I demand a rematch when we get back!" Emmett called from down the hallway. Jasper chuckled and picked up the Wii remote I had left.

Watching them play was a mirror to the memory of Rosalie and Emmett as they played with the same elegant grace, moving together in complete tandem. However, nothing could distract my racing heart from the presence one foot to my right. I still couldn't look at him as much as I longed to. He was a fiery sun and I was only flying on Icarus' wings. Any closer and I would burn.

"Bella." His voice rumbled softly beside me.

"Hey." It was all I could muster. I hid my face away from him, tucked under my hair.

"Did I do something wrong?" he whispered.

I glanced up at Alice and Jasper, who were still loudly engrossed in a vicious match.

"No... not at all. I'm just..." I tapered off, not sure how to continue.

"I miss you, Bella."

My heart leapt in my chest and I couldn't take it anymore. I glanced up at him, freezing under his gaze.

His eyes, a pale shade of ochre, were locked onto mine and I melted, my wings burning as I fell into his golden depths. His hand shifted on the couch and gently rested against my own, his hand cool to the touch. But it lit a fire that raged through me, fueled by each breath that my lungs forced in and out. I felt myself begin to throb in the place where he consistently sparked an aching reaction.

I willed away the desire to kiss away the sadness in his eyes. Alice and Jasper were still only a few feet away, still playing tennis. His hand shifted again, his pinky gently tracing a line down mine.

I nearly came.

"Carlisle." Jasper said suddenly, his body rigid as he missed another point from Alice. Carlisle's hand was gone in a flash. I whimpered slightly at its loss.

"Yes?"

Jasper turned around but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Let's go to the garage. I need you to take a look at my Harley real quick, please?"

"Sure thing."

I watched Carlisle's frame retreat back to the garage, admiring the broadness of his back as he passed. Alice came and sat down with me on the couch.

"Bella, you ok?"

"I'm fine." I smiled at her but she looked unconvinced.

"Do you wanna talk about what's bothering you?

"I... I can't." I shook my head.

She nodded and smiled at me softly.

"That's ok. Just know I'm always here if you need me."

"Thanks, Alice." I grinned at her and she pulled out a bag from behind her. Lord only knows where she was hiding that thing.

"Mani/Pedi time!"

_Oh my God._

* * *

Carlisle's POV

I thought Jasper would have walked slowly to the garage, considering our current human visitor, but as soon as we were out of Bella's view, he disappeared in a streaky blur. I found him in the garage, his Harley lying sideways across the floor, the wheel still spinning from where he had just kicked it.

"Jasper?" I hesitated.

He growled. His eyes were nearly black and I instantly filled with concern. Jasper was the newest vampire member to our family and had often struggled with our pseudo 'vegetarianism'. Changing your lifestyle from a diet of rich, fatty human blood to the lean, earthy flavor of animal blood required a strong will and dedication.

"You ok, Jazz? I thought you fed before Bella arrived."

"I did." He rasped. "But that's not the problem. You and Bella have got to get your feelings under fucking control, otherwise it does no good. I can't even focus with the tsunami of lust that always radiates from you two." He was pacing now, his arms flailing to exaggerate his points. " I'm two seconds away between ravaging Alice right there on the floor, or feasting on the heavy, heated pulse of Bella's infatuated heart. Don't forget that my gift, my curse, is to feel everything that you are feeling. And when the two of you are together in a room..." He threw his hands up and made an explosion noise.

If I could blush, my face would be gradient of magenta. Were we really that bad? I knew I craved her, but does this mean that Bella desires me with the same intensity that I do her?

"I'm so sorry, Jasper. I didn't know it was affecting you so strongly."

He smiled. "That's ok. I remember when Alice and I found each other we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I'm pretty sure we broke off sections of the wall behind the diner we met in with the intensity of our fervor. I'm surprised you guys have held out this long but it's only going to get more difficult to resist."

I groaned and rubbed my forehead.

"I can barely hold in my control as is. She has changed everything in me." I sighed.

"It's because you're soulmates. Your soul, for all these centuries, has longed for the existence of hers and now that she is here, the desire to be joined, to finally be whole, will be ferocious."

"How... how do I... how do I join my soul?"

Jasper raised his eyebrows at me. "How do you think?"

I felt myself harden as I imagined Bella gasping beneath me as I poured into her, joining our bodies in a dance as old as the world.

"Fucking hell, Carlisle... seriously?"

_Oops. _

"Just go be horny somewhere else. I could use some peace. " He sighed as he picked up his motorcycle, studying it for damage. I heard Bella and Alice giggling in the game room and retreated to the sound proof quiet of my office.

_Join my soul with Bella? Fuck. When... if that day ever comes, it will be the first time I have ever gotten a taste of heaven._

I spent the rest of the day hiding in my office, letting Alice and Bella enjoy their girl time. I know Alice had never gotten a chance to have these moments before, as her human history was filled with days of hospitals, imprisonment and torture. They hated her, feared her for her gifts of knowing what the future holds and handled it with the grim reality known at that time. She should be able to enjoy this without me stalking in the corner, eyeballing Bella with at hungry gaze. Rosalie and Emmett had returned and were back to playing in the world of virtual sports. Jasper had gone on another hunt, a precaution for the rapid beating heart sleeping under our roof.

And Edward, the oldest member of my family, was somewhere up in Canada, protesting Bella's presence in our home. The rift between us hurt more as it was driven farther apart, each of us wanting Bella for our own. It was logical they should be together. He looked closer to her in age and two high-schoolers falling in love wasn't even a blip in the radar compared to the scandal that would befall the town if the feeling between me and Bella ever came to light, ever came public.

I wasn't afraid of scandal. I've been through them before. Eventually the stares fade into hushed whispers, which turn into curious glances and then there is nothing at all. It is human nature to adapt. And I would bear the cross, the shame, the consequences for a selfish moment if the reward is an eternity with Bella. Although Edward may be the logical choice, my heart will always fight against them. And now, according to Alice, destiny was now fighting against them.

_Bella was to be mine. _

I would let nothing or no one interfere. As much as it would pain me, even after all the years we have spent as a family, I would relinquish my friendship, my kinship with Edward to sooth the ache Bella's existence has left on my soul. Hopefully with time, he would understand. It would be pure luck if he were to find his own soulmate and could understand of the anguish of keeping two halves of a soul apart. Esme was my partner for many years but, as I now realize, it was only for companionship. Nothing more than solitary desperation.

Esme had been the answer to my loneliness.

_Bella was the answer to my eternity. _

I gazed out the window, surprised to see that the sun had long since vanished from the horizon. Night was here and I could lose myself to the melodic sway of Bella's breathing as she slept. She consumed me. Body, mind and soul.

My phone buzzed on the table.

***Carlisle! Feigning sleep is annoying. This snoring thing is so weird. Bella's headed to the kitchen now. Go for a glass of water or something and join her. Something is bothering her and it doesn't take a psychic to see it. PJ pants are in your top desk drawer.***

I quickly changed from jeans into the pair of pants Alice had left, leaving the Ramones tee on. I headed out towards the kitchen, my bare feet silent against the wood flooring. My breath hitched as I saw her, illuminated by the moon light streaming in from the large windows and the neon glow of various appliances. She was radiant and her sweet, natural scent enveloped me; I closed my eyes and clutched the counter, splintering the wood. She was wearing a thin camisole, fringed with lace and a simple pair of drawstring pants. It would taking nothing, nothing but a simple easy twitch of my hand to yank them down and slip in my hands around her, in her, relishing in her heat; the only heat I've craved in centuries.

I knew these pants were a bad idea. They hid nothing as my arousal made itself very prominent.

_A fucking teepee. What was Alice thinking? _

I darted to the counter behind her, hiding myself behind its ledge. I was thankful that Alice had thought ahead and made over the kitchen to look like we actually used it; I was sure they had stored their extra purses in here before this weekend. The light from the fridge cut through the dark of the kitchen and I watched as she helped herself to an apple. She still had no idea I was here. Her red lips kissed the apple as she took a bite. I licked my lips as I watched her; how I longed to be beneath her mouth instead.

"Hey Bella." I said softly.

She started, whirling around and nearly slipped as her socks struggled for purchase on the clean floors. I would've rushed to her side but feared impaling her on my awkwardly tented front.

"Carlisle!" She caught her fall on the counter. "I'm sorry... I was just kinda hungry. Emmett got so much junk food and I wanted to nibble on something a bit healthier."

"Don't be sorry. Help yourself."

_It's all for you anyways._

I reached into the cupboard, pulled out a glass, and filled it halfway with water. I decided to keep with appearances and lifted the glass to my lips, letting the water inside of my mouth for a brief moment before withdrawing it and faking a swallow. Drinking it wouldn't have hurt me, but it would provide unnecessary discomfort as it made its way through my system. She took another bite of apple and leaned against the counter.

"You ok Bella? You seem so far away today." I asked. She looked so fucking inviting, standing with her legs spread slightly, her hair let down and draped across her front.

She nodded. "Just thinking."

"About?"

She stared at me, eyes full of an aching longing I knew all too well.

"You."

I heard Alice coughing in the game room and realized how vulnerable we were. In a house full of vampires with impeccable hearing, the open kitchen was not the ideal place to hold such an intimate conversation,.

"Let's go to my office and talk." I suggested, thinking of its soundproof walls.

"Ok."

We shuffled together down the dark hall and I sighed with relief as the door clicked closed. I flicked on the lights to dim and gestured for her to sit in my black leather sofa. I was however, unprepared for how incredibly enticing she looked sitting in my office. Her soft lace and female curves were a direct contrast against the masculine earth theme of my office.

I sat in my chair quickly, hiding my lap as I fought against the urging of my more primitive instincts.

"Did I do something wrong, Bella?" I asked for the second time today?

"No... I promise, Carlisle. It's not you." She ducked her head and I frowned.

"I'm a bit worried that I am going too fast or pressuring you." I said gently.

"It's the opposite, actually." She whispered.

"What do you mean?"I asked. She rubbed her hands together nervously.

"I... I can't get enough." She blushed and I could nearly feel the heat on her cheeks. "It's so hard to hold myself back from you. I want to be with you... all the time. It's like I'm missing something without you."

"Oh Bella... my Bella." I wanted to join her on the couch and pull her into my arms, but my cock still pressed heavily against eh flimsy fabric of these damn pants.

_Damn it, Alice. _

"Don't ever feel embarrassed or bad about wanting to be with me. Sometimes there are forces that are beyond our control."

She raised her head and looked at me. "You mean like fate? Destiny?"

"Soulmates."

"You really believe in that, Carlisle?"

"I didn't before. Then I met you. And now I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

She smiled and blushed again. It was addicting to find new ways to make her flush. Her heart began to race harder and I noticed the scent of her arousal begin to skirt the edges of my nose.

_Fuck. _

The glass in my hand shattered under the pressure of my restraint, the little fragments scattering throughout the room.

"Oh my God! You ok, Carlisle?" She stood quickly.

"Yea... I'm fine. They just don't make glasses like they used to."

She darted to my side and bent down to help clean up, her head now level with my cock, which twitched in anticipation. A barrage of inappropriate thoughts tumbled through my mind.

"Leave it." I rasped. "Don't want you to cut yourself."

"I'll be fine." She mumbled as she carefully picked up the glass pieces. " You're not bleeding, are you?"It would take a diamond cutter to even scratch the surface of my marble skin.

"No. I'm not. I'm ok... really. Just leave the mess." She ignored me. "Bella, please!" I groaned.

I grabbed her elbow gently and pulled her up, forgetting how close she was to my pajama problem. It made direct contact with the curve of her abdomen. She gasped as I hissed air swiftly through my teeth. There was no denying that she had felt it. How completely embarrassing.

"Carlisle..." she whispered, stepping closer to me and pressing harder into my length. I groaned and wrapped my arms around her, nuzzling into her neck. She gasped again, her arms wrapping around my shoulders as she melted against me.

_Pure. Fucking. Bliss. _

It felt like it had been forever since I had held her against me and my hands roamed her body, committing every plane, every curve to memory. My mouth hovered a kiss away from the beating pulse of her neck and I breathed her in.

_I could spend the rest of eternity here. _

She whimpered and rubbed hungrily against me and I moaned at the friction. My nose brushed against the softest spot behind her ear where her fragrance was a concentrated ambrosia. I lingered there, breathing her in and out of my dry hardened lungs. She was life, pure and rich and my body nearly spasmed with memories of life long ago. I was desperate for her, like a drowning man for oxygen. I could feel the edge of her lips tickling the hairs on my neck and I growled and pressed against her, pushing her backwards until she hit my desk with a soft thump.

_I would destroy this whole office for the sake of one kiss. _

I finally pressed my lips against the skin of her throat and she sighed. Venom pooled in my mouth as her heart thrummed against my teeth, not out of a lust for her blood, but instead a yearning to make her my mate. She whimpered and ground her hips against mine.

I kissed a trail down the soft skin of her neck and was surprised to suddenly find the cold metal that lay against it. I drew back her hair and saw the chain of the necklace I had given her. A gently tug drew it out from where it was tucked under her shirt and hidden beneath her hair.

"You wore it." My voice was hoarse with want. I couldn't keep the pride from my chest as I took in her appearance.

"You asked me to." she breathed.

"It looks better on you than I imagined." It was no lie or exaggeration. I had held onto my mother's necklace, the only possession of hers I was ever able to track down, for years. I had even hidden its existence from Esme, as the thought of her wearing gave me a strange feeling of disappointment. The moment I thought of it draped around Bella however, I was filled with a peaceful contentment. I knew from that moment that the collar would know no other owner for as long as Bella fancied it.

She smiled and smoothed her fingers over the vintage adornment. "I love it. I still can't believe you gave it to me."

"No one else fit." I stated softly. I gently took her chin and turned her eyes toward me. "Remember ... I texted you awhile ago saying I needed your forgiveness? Do you forgive me, Bella... for wanting to always spoil you. For wanting you to know how much you mean to me."

Her eyes sparkled as she nodded. "Thank you, Carlisle."

I leaned in closer, a whisper away, her hair tickling the bridge of my nose. "I plan on spoiling you rotten." I murmured. "Don't be surprised to find more tokens of my great affection for you. And... it will be nothing compared to when you..." I paused, grabbing her hips tight and pulling her against me. "Are finally mine."

She moaned, the most arousing sound I've ever heard."I would give myself to you right now." she breathed.

"And your father would have every reason to throw me in jail." I smirked. I slowly took a step back, my hands tracing a path down the satin of her arms. My soul ached, it was painful to part from the warmth of her body. I longed for the day when I would no longer have to hold myself back from ravishing her, marking her as we ceased to be separate beings, joining together as I claimed her as my mate.

_My mate. Mine. _

"It's driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking about you and then when I think about you it makes me... ache." she said softly.

"I know how you feel. Believe me... I do. But for now, this is what we can take from each other. And I relish any moment I can get." I took her hand with both of mine and drew her knuckles to my lips, resisting the urge to nibble at each delicate joint. She closed her eyes and nodded and I reluctantly released her hand. "Remember this, mia amore... remember that you will never be far from my thoughts. You will be the stars that guide my night and the sun that illuminates my morning. Never doubt my feelings for you, no matter the how far apart our stolen moments may stretch."

Her eyes glistened and the air pricked with the salt of her withheld tears. "Your words are a gift that I will carry with me until the next time I can hold you in my arms." She cupped my face and pressed a sweet innocent kiss against my cheek. "I'd better go," she whispered, "before Alice or Rosalie realize I'm gone."

"Until next time, Bella."

She slipped from the room and I held the door open until I could hear her settle back down for bed. The door clicked gently as I closed it and slid the lock in place.

The room was saturated with her and I groaned. I sank back onto the sofa and shifted the PJ pants down taking myself in hand. The tip of my cock was already weeping with venom, the only essence my body had left to give. Only a few strokes was all it took and my release came quick.

_Unngh. Bella. _

I lay back, sated for the moment, and tucked myself back into my pants. This girl, with her wispy lashes, edible curves, and unending warmth would be the end of me.

_A satisfactory fate. _

A quiet knock startled me and I checked my clothes before opening the door.

"Errrm ... hey." I stuttered at the pairs of golden eyes in front of me.

"I tried to stop them." Alice's voice ran out meekly from the back.

"Bella's asleep." Rosalie crossed her arms. "We need to talk."

"Talk?" I tried to sound surprised.

"She really did try to stop them." Jasper defended.

"Yeah. Talk." Emmett said gruffly. "About what the fuck you are doing with Bella."

_Fuck. _

* * *

**A/N: **Yeeeaaaa. Once again I'm so sorry for the long wait. I hope the long chappie was worth the wait. I was going to split it into too, but I was too excited for you all to read it!

Please leave reviews. I love them. I eat them up.

Up next: Bella has more questions and we finally pull Jacob into the story. His role will be minor and there will be no additional love triangle there. (Sorry for all you Jacob shippers)

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!


	9. Chapter 9: Head in the Sand or a Book?

A/N:

Hello everybody. It's been about a month. Sorry these updates are not more frequent but I'm doing the best I can. The next chapter is already written, just needs to be typed and edited.

This chapter I struggled with. It took a long time and a lot of adjustments before I was satisfied enough to post it, but there's still something I don't like about it. And I have no clue what it is. Siiiiiigh. I need a beta. lol. Please let me know if there are any errors.

I haven't made this disclaimer in awhile so I'm going to stick it here again.

DISCLAIMER. Stephanie Meyer owns all of Twilight and it's characters. I just like to press their faces together and make kissing noises.

**Chapter 9: Head in the Sand, Head in a Book**

* * *

Carlisle's POV

Bella had left before lunch. I stood from the porch and innocently waved goodbye as she drove off in that horrid truck. As soon as I could, I would replace it with something as exquisite as her. Her truck grumbled down the road and I could almost feel the distance, an unnerving ache in my soul as the space between us grew. Rosalie glared at me and dragged Emmett off to the garage. He cast me an apologetic look as they drove off in Emmett's Hummer. Alice started jabbing me in the side as we headed back into the house.

"Sooooo?" She asked."What happened last night? Before we came storming to your door?"

"Almost everything." I sighed, running my hands through my disheveled hair.

"I figured. Jasper told me how intense your emotions were. Bella's too. I was viciously attacked as a result of your raging hormones."

"Sorry... "I replied sheepishly.

"Don't be." She grinned. "I like it rough."

I laughed. "So did you and Bella enjoy your sleepover?"

"It was fantastic. Bella even got Rose to open up a bit. She's not that pissed with you anymore, but she will be dragging it out for awhile. Don't let her get to you too much. She'll come around soon." She zipped ahead of me into the living room before turning back around with a grin. "Thanks for ordering from the catalogue, by the way. I can't wait to get my package today!"

"I'm never going to be able to surprise you, will I?" I sighed."Pages 1-7 are on their way."

She squealed and jumped up and down. "Yay! Thank you so much!"

I hid in my quiet of my office for the rest of the day, waiting for the hour that I could leave for my night shift at the hospital. Rosalie and Emmett returned and then all four of them left again, running out to the woods to try to track Edward to bring him home. I picked up my phone and tapped out a message.

***Counting the days until I see you again. Miss you already.***

I felt like a coward, hiding from him. Hiding from the white rage that I knew would follow the knowledge of the relationship that had developed between Bella and I. I know she had no romantic attachments to him; their friendship never got a chance to develop. But he still felt drawn to her and I was sure than if he couldn't have her, he certainly would want me to either. I wasn't ready to confront him yet, not after already going through it last night with everyone else**. **I scrubbed my hands over my face in frustration. Last night after Bella had faded off to sleep, I received a rather accosting troupe at my door.

...

_"Yeah. Talk." Emmett said gruffly. "About what the fuck you are doing with Bella." _

Fuck.

_I opened my office door and held my hand back in invitation. "I suppose you should come in then."_

_Rosalie wrinkled her nose."Let's talk outside. It smells ridiculous in there. What did you do, rub her all over the walls?"_

_I frowned and followed them as they zipped outside. We went a good solid 100 yards before Rosalie spun around and booted me in the chest. I fell back hard, the resulting thud reverberating though the forest and startling a tree full of birds. They flew from their roost in a flurry of beating wings and squawks as I lay there stunned. _

_"Is this why Esme left?!" She yelled, her eyes dark and full of fury. "Did you chase her away because you can't keep it in your goddamn pants? Over a fucking filthy human TEENAGE girl?"_

_"Bella has nothing to do with what happened between Esme and I." I growled, leaping swiftly to my feet. Alice and Jasper each took a protective step in my direction and we ended up forming a circle, with Rosalie and Emmett facing opposite of me. _

_"How can you say that?" Rosalie threw her hands up and started pacing."You and Esme were fine; everything was perfect. Then this baffling human girl walks in and the whole thing goes up in smoke. Esme leaves, Edward's even more of a jackass, and you-" she pointed a slender finger angrily at me, "-have given yourself a creep factor of about 15! On a scale of 1-5!" She folded her arms and glanced at Emmett, waiting for him to contribute. He glanced at me and ran his fingers through his short curly hair. _

_"I just don't understand." He mumbled. "I mean, I like Bella... I do." He ignored the huff that came from Rosalie. "But the situation with Esme leaving and then when we realized what was going on between you and Bella... the situation didn't look great, man."_

_"I can understand why it looks that way." I said gently, holding my palms up in a gesture of capitulation. "But I swear to you... the erosion of my marriage came long before Bella. Our struggles were rooted and set in motion from the very beginning."_

_"What do you mean, rooted in the beginning?" Rosalie asked, the hostility of her tone slicing through the quiet forest night. _

_"He means," Alice cut in. "That they never belonged together. They were never soulmates."_

_The silence was deafening as Emmett, then Rosalie turned to look at me curiously. _

_"How do you know?" Rosalie asked. Her tone was still skeptical, but the bitter wind that fueled her anger had subsided. _

_"Esme, as wonderful as she was, she... she just wasn't the answer. Bella is." I said dumbly. I didn't know how to mold the intensity of my feelings into words she would understand. _

_I was surprised when she nodded. _

_"I get it." She stated softly. Her stance shifted into something less aggressive and she tipped her chin at me. "You had originally created me to be a companion, a mate, for Edward. But when it came down to it, it was like trying to blend oil and water; we hated each other for awhile afterwards. Then I met this guy," She nodded to Emmett, "And everything just clicked. He gave my life purpose. I understand now, but I still don't like it. And I don't have to just accept her and be her best friend."_

_"That's my job anyways!" Alice pouted._

_Rosalie sighed and Emmett came up behind her and embraced her. _

_"You remember how it was for us in the beginning." He whispered as he nuzzled her behind her ear. "You carried me over 100 miles to save me and wouldn't... couldn't leave my side while I was injured. Then when I was turning, you felt my pain. You told me later that trying to leave me was like being ripped into pieces." He brushed her hair away from her face in a gesture of gentle intimacy. "When I finally awoke into this new life, we spent days in the forest, hunting, bonding, making love like a couple of nature's finest."_

_"Our love was fierce." She whispered._

_"It still is. Our love moves mountains, babe." Emmett said as he kissed her temple. _

_She smiled as she looked at him, and then turned to me. My heart broke as I saw the compassion in her eyes. It was a rare sight indeed. Rosalie had a tragic story that had hardened her heart and usually only Emmett was on the receiving end of her softer vulnerability. _

_"I'm sorry." She said gently. "It must me awful for you to endure. I didn't mean to attack you. I just had no idea you and Esme weren't bonded; I had always assumed. I feel bad for Esme. She was a mother and a friend to me."_

_"She always will be, Rose. She is part of your family. Esme and I just realized that things were no longer working well for us. She was the one that accepted the change between us first and decided to leave. She was braver than me. And don't feel sorry for me either. I'm happier than I have been in awhile. I feel complete when I'm with Bella."_

_"Have you actually bonded with her?" Emmett raised his eyebrows. _

_"Not yet." Alice chimed in. "She's still considered a minor."_

_"Oh, how times have changed." Jasper mused."Back when I was human, she would have been wedded and bedded by now."_

_Alice raised her eyebrow at him, but I was surprised that I had to bite a growl back in my throat at the thought of Jasper and Bella together. _

_"My feelings for Bella are surprisingly intense, but they are bearable and controllable." I wasn't quite sure I believed myself._

_Rosalie snorted. "For now."_

_"That's what I said!" Jasper chided. _

_"They will only continue to build too." Emmett spoke up. "We all know you are the expert in excercising patience and control, Carlisle. But there's only so much that even you can take before you're gonna snap."_

_"Like your house did on your honeymoon." Jasper joked. Jasper and Emmett high fived. _

_Snap? I could never lose control with Bella. _

_"Is she in danger?" I looked at Alice who shook her head. _

_"Not that I can see. Not from you. I can't see much past you in her future right now."_

_Rosalie huffed again. "Whatever. This will take some getting used to, but I still don't have to like it right now. Or you, for that matter." She looked at me pointedly. "I still can't get over the fact that you and Esme weren't soulmates. I never would have guessed."_

_"I didn't even know that soulmates for our kind even existed until just recently." I mumbled. _

_"Really?" Jasper looked at me curiously. _

_"Really." I threw my hands in the air in exasperation."How do you all know? How is it common knowledge to you guys and I never heard of it?" _

_Rosalie shrugged. "Alice told Emmett and I. I was concerned about how intensely I felt for Emmett and was worried that it would come up again with someone else. Alice told me everything."_

_I turned to Alice. _

_"I've always known." She admitted. "I've known since the moment I woke up in this life that Jasper was my soulmate. His face was and will be the first and last face I see in this life." She shifted and looked at Jasper, who nodded. "The idea of soulmates was verified for me when I encountered a smaller group of vampires. One of them had lost their mate and she was in agony. They explained it all to me and confirmed what I already knew. Eventually, the vampire who lost their mate went insane."_

_She pressed her hands against her face and continued. "Don't let that discourage you , though. It doesn't happen to everyone. I didn't tell you because I assumed you already knew. I was presumptuous and I'm sorry. Didn't you get exposed to the concept of soulmates with the Volturi?"_

_I shook my head. "I knew that Marcus had lost his mate. But that was the extent that it was covered. It was a painful memory for him and no one would elaborate. Other than that, my time spent in Volterra was engaged by our difference in eating habits. It makes much more sense now, looking back. Marcus was an empty soul who was so disconnected from the world he would often beg for death, a wish that Aro would never allow." I sighed. "Thank you, Alice, Rosalie, for your honesty."_

_I heard Bella moan softly in her sleep, a breathy sigh that carried over in the breeze. _

_"We'd better get back." Alice noted. "She's gonna wake up soon to use the bathroom and Rose and I need to be there."_

_Rosalie nodded and they all started to dart to the house, save for Emmett who lingered behind with me. He gave me three solid pats on the back._

_"It will be ok, Carlisle. The one thing we can agree on is that time heals everything. And what else do we immortals have, but time?" _

_I gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks, Emmett. It's just a bit of a difficult situation with her being a human, a teenager, and completely unaware of our world. _

_"And all those are things that can or will be changed. Stop stressing... Having a soulmate is one of the greatest gifts this life can offer. Don't lose her. If you do something stupid and let her go, I'm going to have an awkward man to man conversation with you. And it will take a lot more to clean yourself up than to just brush a silly little stiletto print off your chest after I've had my say." _

_I looked down and chuckled, brushing off Rosalie's heel print from my chest. Emmett grinned at me and we raced each other through the trees back to the house. _

_..._

My phone buzzed in my pocket, bringing my concentration forward.

***Miss you too. Counting the days... hours... minutes...***

_Mia Bella._

* * *

Later that week, I headed to work in a daze, the trees flying past my windows as my Mercedes cut through the air. I had tried to keep her from my mind, but she trickled in like rain on a dry earth, quenching my thoughts and drowning me. I relished it. I was greedy of her and I let her filter in, as if I was a parched man on the verge of expiration. My body was predictable in its response to her and my hand had become painfully familiar with my cock the past few days. I willed my erection away as I pulled into the hospital parking lot. One of the bigger downsides of living in such a small town were the slow days at the hospital. I savored the days where time passed quickly, filling my hours with purpose and life, filling my unbeating chest with pride and self worth.

_Today was definitely not one of those days. _

I drummed a beat onto the desk with my pen and side, counting the leaves on the ficus in the corner. 217.

_Hmmm. Down by 15 leaves, huh?_

I leaned back in my chair and scanned the books crammed into the shelves. It was hard to reread things when I was able to recall the book with perfect memory.

_Nope. None of those sound good. Maybe I will go do rounds again. _

My phone buzzed in my coat pocket. I grinned like a schoolboy in the throes of puppy love.

_Bella. I haven't heard from her since Sunday. Rounds can wait a few minutes. _

***Sorry you bother you. I'm sure you're working.***

I chuckled to myself.

***Completely swamped. Just finished counting the leaves on my obligatory office plant.***

***Sounds completely enthralling. That bored, huh?***

***Yep. I'll manage though. Everything ok?***

***Fine. Just curious and had a question. Did you have any relatives that used to live here in Forks?***

I froze. So she was starting to get curious. I knew this day was coming, but I still felt entirely unprepared to handle this conversation.

_What do I say?_

Alice said to be honest with her. Would she accept the truthful answer? No, we didn't have any relatives from Forks. Just us, over 60 years ago. Should I lie instead? But what good would that do if she will eventually find out who we are?

A sinking feeling plummeted through me, shredding my nerves as it fell.

_What if she fears me?_

What if she rejects who we are and wants nothing to do with us? Or with me?

_What if she hates me?_

It was an unbearable thought. How could I overlook such an obvious hurdle between Bella and I? Was I really so obtuse and self centered to assume that she would openly accept me, a man-no, not even a man, a vampire. An unnatural creature whose heart had stopped beating over 300 years ago? My lust, my desire for her and her soft human sighs and warm feminine curves had consumed me.

_How could I be so selfish?_

How could I forget that while she filled me with a renewed sense of a life I had longed for, I would only bring about her death.

If she feels as Edward does, I would be handing her an eternal serving of damnation on a fucking silver platter.

My soul writhed within me and wailed. I was terrified, an ice cold fear that had shocked me to the center of my being.

I couldn't do that to her. She won't want me, she won't want this life. I won't do to her, what I did to Rosalie. Never again- I had made that vow when I saw what pain and regret this life I had chosen for Rose had brought her. She still held that grudge against me and I had turned Emmett at her request as a desperate attempt to relieve a portion of the guilt I have carried for her. To have Bella regard me in that way, to treat me as Rose does, to resent me would bring me perpetual torture.

_I must decide our fate, for the both of us. _

My hands shook as I texted a reply to her still waiting text.

***I don't know. Gotta go.***

It was short, but it was all I could manage. I would arrange a time once I've thought things through to tell her that I could no longer agree to break the rules, break the law with her.

Technically it was true. Vampires had rules and rulers, just like the humans we shared the earth with. Our voice of authority came from the Volturi, an ancient liege of purist vampires. They were our royalty and we respected and obeyed them. Humans were nothing but cattle to them and had no other purpose but to feed their frenzy. I chose not to share their beliefs and they found my way of life unnatural, but fascinating. But the one rule, among all vampires no matter their diet, was a rule to be followed under penalty of complete death; no human could be exposed to our world. To be more specific, no human could be exposed and survive.

The thought of Bella cold, with no fire dancing behind her warm eyes was terrifying and it shattered my silent heart.

I shakily made my way to the hospital doors, ignoring the sypathetic glances from the female staff. I caught their gossip as they whispered to each other when I passed them.

"...wife left him? Who would be crazy enough to leave someone like him?"

"... the poor dear. He looks so lost..."

"... must be lousy in the sack. There's no other reason a woman would leave that man behind."

"... I hope your joking. Give the man sometime before you ask him out."

I grimaced and felt a growl rumbling in my throat. Never have I been so close to losing control before. I felt like I was being ripped apart piece by piece, starting with my fumbling heart.

_I need to get out of here. _

I aimed for the trees as soon as I was out of the view of the hospital. Branches ripped at my clothes and the wet forest left its muddy streaks as I raced through the trees, away from humanity, away from Bella.

_Bella. _

My heart pleaded with me, desperate for a change to speak, a change to carve out a hole in my plans where Bella would fit.

But in my mind there was none.

I burst through the trees into a clearing and sank to my hands and knees, my fingers weaving and gripping the long grass. I sobbed, not for a need of air, but rather a need for a rhythm in the wild chaos that raged through my body. I shrugged out of my destroyed doctor's coat and collapsed on the grass. If only I could close my eyes and succumb to the blissful emptiness of sleep, letting the world move on without me for just moment or two.

A soft rustle through the trees alerted my sense and I sighed as Alice's soft steps echoed through the meadow. She approached me slowly, perhaps even cautiously; I don't think she's ever seen me is such a state.

"I wasn't sure what time you would be here." Her voice was honeyed, a tone often used when reasoning with children.

I felt an overwhelming morphine like calm flood my body as she knelt beside me. It numbed me to the core and I stopped feeling... anything. This was not what I needed. I still needed to feel her, needed to feel the other half of my soul, as much as it hurt.

"Please, Jasper... Stop." I choked.

"It's ok, Jazz." Alice called back to the shadows lining the trees. "He's not going to hurt anyone." She pulled a few twigs out of my hair. "What are you doing, Carlisle?" She whispered. "Everything was going so well. Why are you so full of self doubt?"

I groaned as Jasper's influence receded and all of my turmoil returned. The self loathing, the anxiety, the fear of rejection all beat their way back into my brain, and beneath it all, the steady thrum of my ever longing ache for Bella.

"How could I have been so ignorant?" I leaned over and sat in the grass, the wet blades of grass clinging to my shirt. "How could I just assume that she would accept us after finding out our true nature? How could I assume that she would openly love me for who I am?"

"You're underestimating her." Alice scolded gently.

I shook my head forcefully. "No. I can't bear to have her resent me the way Rosalie does."

"Rosalie has never felt the way about you as Bella does. It is not the same situation. Rose was never in love with you." Alice spoke softly. I stared at her and she brushed the grass from my shirt and continued. "But Bella is. Trust me. You always have, Carlisle. Don't doubt me, or yourself now."

She stood and pulled me up with her.

"C'mon. You need to hunt. You are unbalanced. The pull to your soulmate only gets stronger and right now you are starting to spin out of control. Your thoughts are becoming irrational and you are not thinking things through." She took my hand. "We need to find a way around this, find a way to keep your emotions and control from coming unhinged. But for now, we hunt. The last thing you need to be is thirsty on top of all this."

"I would never hurt anyone."

"I know." She smiled.

"I love her." I gasped. My soul shuddered in relief as my mind bowed in defeat. My heart wins again. I wouldn't give up on my soulmate yet.

"Yea... Tell me something I don't already know."

She grinned again and nodded her head to the trees. Jasper came bounding out and we all started sprinting north, sprinting to soothe the never ending ache that burned in our throats. But no amount of blood would relieve the growing ache in my being for Bella; no matter how may deer I drained, she was becoming my everything.

And I would no longer fight it.

* * *

Bella's POV.

I drove away from the Cullen's in a dizzying state of euphoria.

_Euphoria, Carlisle... same difference. _

I had never pegged myself as a girl would moon over some boy and I had always had a laugh over the 'Mrs. Bennett' types, whose minds were obsessed with marriage and men.

But then again, I have never been quite so... twitterpated.

My heart pounded when I though back to what happened... and what almost happened last night in Carlisle's office. I had been brazen, filled with a confidence that only he seemed to find in me, and had offered myself to him. And now I respected him for turning me down. As much as I had wanted him to, looking back now my offer was fueled by the heat of the moment and if we had gone through with it, if he had taken me, I would be regretting it. This drive home would be laden with shame and remorse as I mourned the loss of my last milestone, the last shred of innocence separating girl from woman.

_My virginity._

I had no doubt in my mind that I wanted Carlisle to be the one to take it from me. I wasn't the type girl that wanted to wait until my wedding night, but I still wanted to wait until I was sure I was giving it to the right person.

And Carlisle was the epitome of perfection. My own, personal Adonis.

There was an unfamiliar black truck parked in my usual spot and I frowned as I parked my truck against the curb. I opened the front door to the sound of booming male voices, angrily protesting a sportsbroadcaster.

_Great. Baseball Sunday._

I grabbed an apple from the fridge and headed upstairs to hide.

"Bella." Charlie sounded from the living room. "You're home."

I peeked into the living room sheepishly.

"Yea... Just got back. Don't let me interrupt your game."

Charlie was sitting in his over worn recliner, can of Raineer beer in hand. Billy Black, his longtime friend was seated in his wheelchair off to the side and Billy's son Jacob grinned at me from the couch. Billy and Jacob had been kind enough to give me my beast of a truck when I first moved here, and I was grateful for the years of companionship that they gave my father while he was a lonely bachelor.

"You're not interrupting." Jacob patted the seat next to him. "Wanna join us?"

"Errrr... no thanks. Baseball really isn't my thing."

Charlie chuckled from his chair. "Sports in general isn't your thing."

I shrugged. "Just not the biggest fan of having balls in my face."

_Oh Lord, what the hell just left my mouth?_

Charlie reddened, cleared his throat and turned back to the tv while Jacob snickered.

_Boys. _

"How's the truck running for you, Bella?" Jacob asked. His grin was infectious.

"Beautiful. I love it, backfires and all. Thanks again for fixing it up."

He nodded. "Can we take her out for a drive? I wanna hear how the engine is sounding."

"Charlie?" I glanced over to his chair and he just waved his hand at me.

Jacob sprang from the couch and headed towards the door.

"You sure you're not too bummed about missing the game?" I asked as we headed outside.

"Meh. Not really missing much. The Mariners are down so much there's no hope of any recovery."

The truck roared to life and chortled at us as we drove down the road. I let Jacob drive and finished my apple, watching the trees streak by in a green blur as we passed.

"So Bella, how are you liking Forks?"

"It's alright, I guess. I miss the sun from Phoenix. And the heat. "

But here, in Forks, I had the goldren rays found in Carlisle's eyes and the heat that he fired up inside me.

_Infinitely better. _

"Yea." He laughed. "Forks is definitely not the place to come to tan."

_Maybe that's why the Cullens stay so pale. They always go camping when the sun comes out. _

"Are there a lot of good camping sites in Forks?"

He smirked. "Yea. Some... there are some sweet spots down at the res. Why? You looking to spend the night with the wolves?"

"Not really. It's just the Cullens seem to go camping a bit."

His jaw tightened and his knuckles paled as he gripped the steering harder. His eyes aimed a hard line at the road.

He scoffed. "The Cullens. They don't go to the res."

"Why do you say it like that? Do you not like them or something?"

"They aren't allowed on the reservation. Not a single foot. They are dangerous, Bella. You should stay away from them."

_Dangerous? First Edward, now Jacob?_

"What do you mean, dangerous?" I asked.

He cast a glare at me, his eyes darker than I thought possible.

"Just don't get too close."

_Too late. _

"I don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do." I objected.

He snorted. "No. I'm not. But that doesn't stop me from warning you." His eyes softened. "I don't want to see you getting hurt."

"Thanks for looking out for me." I smiled at him. "But I think I'm ok for now."

We looped back to the house in silence and the truck chuckled to a stop.

"Engine sounds great." He smoothed his hands over the wheel. "Thanks for letting me take her for a drive."

"Anytime."

He grinned and ran his hand through his long hair. "Hey. Do you think you could come down to the res sometime with me? I'd love to show you around."

"Yea sure, sounds great."

It wasn't the top on my 'to do' list- hell, Carlisle was the beginning and end of my list. But I did want to figure out why Jacob seemed to be so hostile against the family I had come to adore.

* * *

It was Tuesday, laundry day. I headed up to my room and went to grab the bags from this past weekend, which I had absentmindedly forgotten about. In a classic swoop of my clumsy nature, I tripped over them instead and they fell over, spilling their contents on my floor.

_Graceful as ever, Bella Swan. _

I stated leafing through them, pulling out the clothes for laundry, when I noticed several books stuck in them. A note, written in a familiar swirly print was taped to the front of one.

_'Bella, I had taken a page from a book I found in your room the other week. I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I was kind of floored by the photo in there that looked exactly like Carlisle, so I had wanted to show him. It was my fault for not asking. So... I purchased a new one for you. I have also included a few other books on Forks history. I didn't know if you needed them for a project of anything, but here they are! Love ya, and expect to hear from me soon for prom dress shopping!'_

I groaned. Prom dress shopping? Of course, how could I forget. I shifted throught he books, pausing at the titles._ Quileute_ _Legends, History of Forks, Myth and the Pacific Northwest, Forks in Development._ These were actually pretty awesome and I forgave Alice immediately. I flipped through the _History of Forks_ book, breathing a sigh as I found his photo. It was unmistakable.

_But how could it be Carlisle? He hasn't aged a day. _

Maybe a great grandfather? Just a decent case of recessive traits? I pulled out my phone and sent him a text.

***Sorry you bother you. I'm sure you're working.***

***Completely swamped. Just finished counting the leaves on my obligatory office plant.***

***Sounds completely enthralling. That bored, huh?***

***Yep. I'll manage though. Everything ok?***

I glanced at the photo again and texted my reply.

***Fine. Just curious and had a question. Did you have any relatives that used to live here in Forks?***

It took several minutes for a reply, which surprised me.

***Don't know. Got to go.***

His response was short and vastly different from his usual demeanor.

_I hope everything is ok. Maybe an emergency at the hospital?_

I immediately felt guilty for bothering him and set myself to the other books Alice had given me. I knew that _History of Forks_ only had the one photograph, so I moved next to _Forks in Development_. I skimmed the pages, studying every photograph and hoping to catch a glimpse of something, either anyone or anything familiar.

I felt like a history detective and I nearly shouted when I found something on page 82.

"The grand piano in the town hall lobbywas donated by the concert pianist, Edward Masen."

There was a grainy photo of a young man, dressed to the nines and sitting at an antique piano. His eyes were closed and his fingers frozen above the keys, although a familiar crease dipped through his brow. I have seen a completely identical look on another Edward. Edward Cullen.

I bookmarked th page and continued my perusal through the pages. There was only one other mention that caught my eye, a quote from a wealthy elite.

"Dr. Cullen and his family were an asset to our community. We would not be where we are now without their influence."

_Hmmmmm. _

Fueled by my curiousity and an acute desire to unravel this mysterious historical repetition, I scanned the _Myth in the Pacific Northwest_ book, which held no relevant info. I did, however, learn a lot about Bigfoot. My stomach suddenly gave a growl and I realized I had skipped lunch. I ran down to the kitchen for a snack, snickering at the hibernating grizzly quality of snoring that came from Charlie's recliner.

I headed back upstairs with a cheese sandwich . The last book, _Quileute Legends_, was fascinating, even though it didn't necessarily apply to my current quest. Stories about wolves and Indian spirits wove their tales along the pages and I digested every word. I hesitated when I found an entry listed for 'the cold ones'.

"The 'cold ones' are the equivilent of the boogey man for Quileute children. Parents often threatened their misbehaving youngsters with being whisked away and eaten by the 'cold ones' while they slept at night. They are beings of darkness and blood. Legend says the first 'cold one' that threatened the Quileute's was burned and the ashes scattered throughout the earth, save for a small keeping to prevent it from ever reforming. They are the natural enemies of wolves, and their presence causes the wolf spirit to rise up in the souls and bodies of the tribe.

The 'cold ones' are often compared to the European vampire, or _vampyre_. History has repeatedly told of their diet of human blood, the very essence of life and old Quileute tales do not under exaggerate the morbidity of their consumption. They are described to be the undead and are as cold as a corpse, giving meaning behind their ethereal names. The cold ones have more speed, strength, and grace than humans and physically very attractive, raising their abilities to lure in their prey. They stand in Quileute legend as the ulitmate predator."

My mind started clicking rapidly as peices of this strange puzzle starrted falling into place.

_Cold as a corpse_.

I remembered the icy touch of Carlisle's hands, a chill that had startled me at first, but I now relish. I remembered the cool breath coming from his lips, puffing against my own as he leaned in to kiss me.

_Strong and swift. _

The day Edward had saved me from being a bowling pin to a runaway van he had appeared at my side from across the lot in an instant, crushing the side with his bare hand before I could even blink.

_Grace_.

Like when we had all played Wii Tennis. I couldn't get over how easily they moved with each other.

_Diet of blood_.

I remembered all the timees I had shared lunch with them and had noticed that, while they all had food, none of them were ever caught eating.

_Physically atrractive_.

That one was a given. All of the Cullens were absolutely fucking gorgeous.

_Oh God._

Little things that I had forgotten seemed to roar forward in my head. Like the day when Carlisle had ran into the trees after leaving my home. How there wasn't a single day at school that had the combination of sun and the Cullens, the whole family missing under the premise of a camping trip every time the sun graced us with its warmth. And the fact that Edward and Jacob had both warned me of the Cullens being dangerous. But above all, the most palpable fact was the historical evidence, the photos of Carlisle and Edward from a lifetime ago.

_But it was probably the same lifetime for them. _

Could they really being supernatural beings?

_You're being crazy, Bella. This is ridiculous. Vampires? What crazy version of reality are you trying to live in? _

I studied the photos of Carlisle and Edward again. If these photos didn't exist, I would be a lot less convinced. But here they were, showing photographic proof of a timeless existence.

_Should I ask him? Would he laugh at me, or question my sanity? _

I checked my phone and felt disappointed that there were no new messages. I think a trip to the Quileute reservation was looking more necessary. Maybe Jacob could give me some more information on the 'cold ones'. Maybe I could figure out a logical explanation to replace the outlandish theories running through my head.

* * *

The rest of the week was awful. I tentatively texted Carlisle again, but only received an** 'I'm sorry, Bella. text you when I can.'** as a response.

_What was going on with him? _

On Thursday, I met with Edward again, although this time I approached him instead. He eyed me warily and stiffened slightly as I moved towards him.

"Hey, Edward."

"Bella."

"How are you?"

His jaw tensed slightly into a smile. It looked painful.

"Been better." He stared at me, a haunted gaze and his topaz eyes seemed to burn me. They were very similar to Carlisle's gaze and my heart pined for the golden doctor who had my heart confined in his gentle grasp. I missed him.

"I heard you went hunting this past weekend?" I offered.

His eyebrow quirked at me. "Yea. You keeping tabs on me?"

"No." I replied. "Just something Alice had said."

"Alice needs to keep her nose out of everyone else's business, but that's never going to happen." He chuffed.

I smiled. At least Edward seemed to be in a better mood than normal.

"I'm sorry for the other day." I blurted. "I was pretty rude to you."

"I understand. I was being a bit of an asshole. It should be me apologizing." He looked at me, his eyes darker and more intimidating, but still holding a rare softness. "But I still stand by what I said. Be careful around my family. Even Carlisle."

"Why? Why do you keep saying that?"

"I honestly can't tell you. Just trust me."

"You're making me run some really ridiculous theories in my head."

He smirked. "Like what?

"I don't know. Mobsters? Superheroes? Aliens?"

_Vampires?_

He laughed and it was nearly as musical as Alice's.

"Maybe Carlisle should look you over again. You must have hit your head pretty hard to come up with those theories."

"Very funny." I grumbled.

The bell rang for the next class and Edward ran his hand through his hair.

"Better get going." He murmured. "I'll walk you to your next class." He took my books and we shuffled along silently as I worked up my last ball of courage.

"Edward?"

"Yea?" He looked down at me curiously.

"Dr. Cullen adopted you, right?"

"In the most legal sense of the word. I needed a guardian so I wouldn't be put in the system. Carlisle decided to step in. But the word adopted makes it sound weird." He mused.

I nodded. "Same with everyone else? Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper too?"

"For the most part. Carlisle's heart knows no limits." The words seemed to escape his mouth with a sneer.

"Why? Why would he do that for everyone?" I asked.

"You'd have to consult with Carlisle on that one."

"How come you took his name."

"It was easier that way." His tone was increasing in frustration so I decided to try for only one more question. We were nearing the door to my English Literature class and I was running out of time anyways.

_Here goes nothing. _

"What was your name before? Before you became Edward Cullen?"

He stopped for a moment, mulling it over in his mind before looking at me.

"Masen. My name was Edward Masen."

_Bingo. The very same name as the identical Edward in the photograph. _

I felt like busting out into a jig. I was a step closer to solving this bizarre enigma that encompassed the Cullen family.

But at least I knew one thing was certain; the Cullens, who have quickly become an important revolution in my life, were definitely not human.

* * *

A/N: Whomp. There it is. Bella is getting so close! Coming up next time, Bella learns exactly what Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens are. Carlisle and Edward exchange... words. Please review if you can. I know everyone begs for them, but they really are one of the things that keep me motivated. I'll admit that I am a total review whore. I'll do anything to get sooooome. :) Thanks again for reading! I love you all!


	10. Chapter 10: Chip Away at My Resolve

**A/N: Thanks again for reading! So good to have you here again. Thanks for bearing with me in these expansive spaces between updates. Here is the next chapter! :)**

**Also, in this chapter, there is a direct quote from Twilight, marked between [...]. Stephanie Meyer gets full credit. I just like to play with her characters. **

**Hope you enjoy it! See you at the end! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Chip Away at my Resolve**

Carlisle's POV

It was a mellow day at the house. Jasper and Emmett were playing an uneventful racing game on the Xbox and Alice was once again immersed in the dangerous world of online shopping. Rosalie was lounging back on the sectional in the game room, splitting her attention between watching the race and sifting through a stack of French fashion magazines. To any observer, we would just appear to be a normal family.

But to us, there was a missing piece, a void which left a silent gaping hole in our coven.

Our family missed Esme's company. As much as we had drifted apart as husband and wife, I still considered her to be a friend. Her presence as a mother figure well rounded the balance in the house and I know the others have missed her as well.

_And Edward._

My relationship with my oldest son was suffering and I longed to fix it, which was proving difficult given his absence. The others had tracked him into northern Montana and he had willingly returned, although his efforts to avoid me have doubled. He was now hiding silently in his room. Years ago, on a day like today, Edward would have been filling the house with music, either sounding from his bedroom or tinkling from the piano. Esme loved Edward's compositions and would hum along, matching her paint swatches as she planned the designs for her newest home renovation. She adored the hobby and throughout the years I had indulged her, buying her houses that were neglected or abandoned but still had an irreplaceable charm. She would remodel and restore them, bringing them back to life. We kept the favorites and because of it, we had houses hidden around the world.

Money had stopped being an issue a long time ago.

I had built up a decent savings as a doctor, but our finances took the greatest leap when Alice and Jasper joined the family. With her abilities to predict the future, we played the stock market like a well oiled machine, investing and selling as trends rose and fell. We used several names and brokers so our rapidly increasing wealth would go unnoticed. And now we had more money than we could ever need, which gave us the ability to indulge with luxuries and give sizable contributions to charities and organizations that needed them.

Emmett, always a jokester, gave a yearly donation to Red Cross, and Esme sponsored an orphanage in her hometown. Alice and Jasper changed their donations yearly, depending on what Alice saw needed help the most. Rosalie gave to various organizations to help women who have escaped an abusive spouse, and Edward had several college scholarships he would award yearly to several worthy students who would have been otherwise unable to attend. I myself generally stayed in the world of medicine, donating sizable funds to aid in research to curing diseases. I'm not usually one to brag, but without my influence in the past, polio would have been able to claim populations more than it already had.

I flipped through the pages of yet another medical journal, but the words stared back at me blankly.

_Why can I not focus?_

"Text her back, Carlisle." Alice had abandoned her laptop and had come over to my side, speaking in a voice so quiet, no other ears could hear over the revving engines in Jasper and Emmett's game. "I know you have been avoiding her and it's torturing you. Stop punishing yourself for falling in love."

I sighed at looked up at her. She had hit the nail on the head.

"She's been worrying about you, wondering what she did wrong to lose your connection. You're not only punishing yourself, but her as well."

I felt my heart lurch. "I don't mean to punish her. I just... I haven't meant to..."

"I thought you weren't going to fight yourself anymore, that you had given into the beautiful future in store for you and Bella."

"I am.. it's just. Perhaps I should wait."

"Wait for what?"

"For Bella to be of age? For the legalized divorce papers from Esme? So many factors in our equation stand on eroding moral ground. And being around her is definitely testing my control."

"You're not going to hurt her, I promise." Alice said softly. "But don't cut her off from your life while you wait. Don't make her think she isn't important to you. Otherwise, she may not be yours by the time you are finally ready to accept her."

My mind flashed with images of Bella wrapped around another man, living out the rest of her mortal days and getting old with someone else by her side. I was shocked at the sudden surge of jealousy that tore through me. The arm of the chair I was sitting in crumpled under my grasp as I forgot my own strength.

_Mine_.

"See?" Alice pouted."That's not what anyone wants. Now I have to find a new chair." She flounced back to her computer and started clicking away rapidly.

The rest of the week crawled by. I had started to type a note to Bella, but deleted it, frustrated by the how desperate I sounded. She was my anchor and without her holding me to port I was lost, tossed by wave after wave of internal struggle. I complete around her; without her I was a mess.

* * *

The house phone rang on Saturday, the sharp tone cutting through the silence of the house. Not many people had this number and I raised my eyebrow as it rang again. Alice and Edward were also home while Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett had left to go hunting. It rang a third time; no one was answering the phone. I ran over to it and picked it up apprehensively.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Carlisle." she breathed.

"Esme?"

"Why do you sound so surprised to hear from me?" she laughed. I haven't heard her laugh like that in awhile and I smiled in spite of myself.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Better." She stated softly, but the meaning in her tone spoke volumes. She was better, she was happy now without us. "How about you, dear?"

_Agonizingly, unquenchably, desperately in love- with someone else._

"Fine."

"I don't believe you. 80 years with me and you still can't lie." She chuckled lightly and I clenched my fist.

"It's been a rough transition for the family. Everybody misses you." I skirted around the real reasons.

"I've missed you guys too, but I've needed this time away." she sighed. "Did Alice tell you?" She sounded guilty.

"About what?"

"That I'm no longer... a vegetarian?"

"Yes. She did."

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." I sighed.

"I... I don't... it's never anyone important . Never anyone who has a family." She tried to reason.

"Everybody has a family, Esme." I said sharply. She was silent. "But you don't have to justify your actions to me. It is your decision to make."

"I know." She was quiet for awhile. "I regret disappointing you."

"Don't let me be any sort of regret for you, Esme. Live your life. The sun rises and the sun sets and we remain unchanged. Don't let regret cloud your future."

"Thanks, Carlisle." There was a silence and my brain fumbled awkwardly and unsuccessfully for something to say. "Is Edward there?" she asked after awhile.

"Edward?" I called out to the house. He was at my side in an instant, holding his hand out for the phone and deliberately avoiding my gaze. I handed him the headset.

"Hey Mom." He mumbled, turning away from me. I left them their privacy, thankful that they have continued to maintain their close relationship, and went to find Alice. She was outside, reclining halfway up a large pine tree, texting furiously away on her new phone.

"Hey, Carlisle." she said. "C'mon up."

I scaled the tree and sat on a branch a few feet away.

"Esme called?" she asked.

"Yes."

"You ok?" She finished her text and looked up at me. I nodded.

"Talking to Esme again just kind of confirms what I have already realized." I fiddled with the needles in the tree, trying to avoid getting sap on my sweater.

"Confirms what? That you are wholly and irreversibly in love with Bella?"

I stared out at the forest, a lush green carpet blanketing the horizon. "Yes." I said it to myself as much as I answered her. And I only hope that Bella feels a sliver of the way I do for her; if so, I could walk this eternity a happy man. "Alice?"

"Mmm?"

"Can you tell me one thing? Just one thing about my future with Bella?"

She paused and thought for awhile, her eyelids flickering as she scanned the future. Suddenly she whipped her head at me, her eyes blazing with fear. If Alice, who could see the future and walked each step with an all knowing confidence, was afraid, then something was horribly wrong.

"She's gone."

"What?"

"I checked on her this morning. She had decided to go to see a friend and was leaving the house. And now, there's nothing. Her future is gone... That has only happened before when..."

_When someone has died._

The front door to the house slammed open as Edward flew out and streaked through the trees.

"Oh God." Alice hid her mouth behind her hands. "He saw. He saw it in my head and now he's assumed the worst. He's tracking her and he's furious at you. Between the call with Esme, and now this- he's blaming you for everything. And... I still can't see her!" She wailed.

_Bella. Oh, my beautiful Bella. What has happened?_

Alice was still stammering behind me, but I couldn't focus on what she was saying. All I could hear was the forest, beating with the trill of hundreds of animals and the whoosh of the trees as Edward sped through them. I launched myself from the branch and followed him. I picked up Bella's scent almost immediately, the recent trail freshest along the road. Edward was the fastest of all of us and I knew my physical limitations would prevent me from catching him. But I had to try.

We were nearing the treaty line, a line forged the last time we inhabited Forks, making a bargin with a group of Native American shape shifters. It was a line that protected our secret and allowed us to hunt and it was a line we were definitely not allowed to cross. Bella's scent grew stronger and I groaned, urging my body to go faster.

_If something has happened to her... if she has been taken away from me._

I growled and willed my feet to hit the ground at a faster pace. I ran faster than I had ever pushed myself before. I could see him now, a few miles ahead of me, angrily pacing the road right beside the treaty line. I burst through the trees and landed beside him on the street.

"Edward, I-" I started. Then I noticed the familiar rapid beat of a heart several feet away and I turned.

There she was.

_Alive and safe._

"Bella." I breathed in relief. I felt all the tension in my body, everything that had winded, twisted up inside me leave as I took her in, all five feet, four inches of perfection. Her eyes were blazing with confusion and irritation and I took a stop to head towards her.

Edward growled, lower than what her ears could register, but it was enough to stop me. I looked back over at the fiery girl. I longed to gather her up in my arms and thank every deity that she is still with me. "Bella. Thank the heavens you are ok."

"What is going on? Why are you all so worried about me? What am I missing here?" She bit her lip as she anxiously glanced between us for answers.

"Carlisle." Edward was addressing me in a volume too soft for her to hear. "I don't want to start with you right now. Better leave before anyone gets hurt. "

She started to walk towards me and he growled again. "Stop, Edward." I hushed back at him. "If you hurt her..."

"Bella." He hissed at her, ignoring me. "Get away from him." I tried not wince. This was not going to end well.

"Why do you think you can always tell me what to do?" She had whirled around and addressed him directly. "You have no right to try to control me. You don't even know me!" She headed back to me, each step full of determination and I couldn't help but be filled with joy as she joined me. It was bittersweet, having her by my side. Now Edward knows where we really stand, now he knows of my complete betrayal. I looked into her mahogany eyes and sighed in surrender. I no longer belonged to myself. I was hers, entirely.

I smiled at her softly and she seemed to melt.

_Now only her rejection would be my end._

* * *

Bella's POV

It was Friday and there was still no response back from Carlisle. I didn't want to harass him, but I was worried. It wasn't like him to not reply back to me.

And of course, the illogical side of my female brain assumed the blame for his lack of communication. The 'was is something I did? Did I say something wrong?' thoughts haunted the back of my mind. It was time to go to the Quileute res and talk with Jacob. Maybe he will have more answers. I knew Charlie was trying to play matchmaker as I told him I was leaving to hang with Jacob. No curfew and no rules applies when it came to someone Daddy approved of. I wonder what he would think of Carlisle holding my heart?

I drove to the reservation on the weekend; the drive was peaceful as I wove through the trees. Phoenix had the heat, but Forks had the dewy lush green I had come to adore.

_And Carlisle._

I followed Jacob's directions and parked in front of a small weathered red house. The truck's engine turned off with a shudder and the chilly salty air from the sea drifted in as I rolled down my window. Jake came bounding out the front door and he grinned at me.

"Hey, Bella! Glad you could make it!"

"Yea, no problem. It was good to get away for a bit. I needed to get my mind off things."

He came over to the side of my truck and opened the door. "Budge over. We're going to the beach." He tossed a basket on the floor and the truck whinnied to a start again.

The beach was kissed by the morning sun but the warmth was devoured by the sting of the icy sting of the sea breeze. Jacob dropped a wool blanket around my shoulders and set off down the sand.

"C'mon. There's a great tide pool over here!" He called back from over his shoulder.

I took off my shoes, smiling at the feeling of the grains of sand shifting around my toes and followed him down the beach. The tide pool was full of orange and purple starfish, squiggly sea anemones , small racing fish, a few shellfish, and even a few crustaceans. Jacob pried a starfish from the rocks and handed it to me. I stroked the bottom of it, watching hundreds of little feet wiggle back at me.

_Weirdly awesome._

After amusing ourselves with the sea creatures, Jacob spread another blanket out a few paces away and opened the basket he brought.

"You hungry?"

"A beach picnic? Are you hitting on me?" I laughed and sat on the blanket, wrapping the other one tighter against me, a shield from the bitter salty air.

Jacob fished out a couple of sandwiches and handed one to me. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I caught a whiff of the smoked bacon that was poking out from under the bread. I took a wolfish bite and Jacob watched me in amusement.

"I guess you were hungry. No reason to insult my picnic." He snickered.

"Yesh, I warsh. Sherry. Dis id fumdestid!" I warbled from around a mouthful of food.

Jacob laughed. "That's gross, Bella."

I swallowed loudly and tried again. "Yes, I was. Sorry. This is fantastic!" I grinned back at him and took another bite. We ate in companionable silence, watching the waves roll in. The tide was pushing closer to the shore and would soon reclaim the pool and creatures that had sought refuge there.

I should take advantage of the lull in conversation. After all, as much fun as the beach is, I did come here with a goal in mind.

_How should I start? Should I just be blunt? Might as well._

"So," I started, "How well do you know your Quileute legends?"

Jacob paused mid bite and gave me a curious glance. "Why? You gonna quiz me?" He laughed and finished his bite. "Quileute legends are our history, our bedtime stories, our traditions. I know them like I know my own family."

"So what can you tell me about the 'cold ones'?"

Jacob turned at stared at me incredulously. "How did you hear about them?"

"Just been studying through some Forks history books. There was one on Quileute legends and I thought the 'cold ones' sounded... interesting."

He snorted. "Interesting? Only you, Bella. The cold ones are our monsters under the bed, our villains in stories of heroes and war."

"From what I understand, the Quileute's spirit animal is a wolf, right?" I asked. Jacob nodded and I continued. "And the cold ones are described to be their supernatural enemies. So they are kind of like vampires then?

He chuckled and ran his hands through his hair. "Yea. Kind of exactly like vampires. I can't wait till the tribe hears a Forks newbie has uncovered the tribal secrets." He started in on his second sandwich.

"Is that way you don't like the Cullens? Do the remind you of your mortal enemies?" I joked, nudging him slightly with my shoulder and trying not to seem too anxious for information.

His gaze darkened and he stared out towards the sea. "There's this story I have always been told, over and over so it was memorized before I would even read or write. [The cold ones are traditionally our enemies. But this pack that came to our territory during my great grandfather's time was different. They didn't hunt the way others of their kind did. They weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose them."

I tried to keep my tone casual. "So how does it fit with the Cullens? Are they like the cold ones your great grandfather met?"

"No." He paused dramatically. "They are the _same_ ones."]

I froze as my brain flew a million miles a minute. I couldn't fool myself any longer. This world wasn't the same one as the one I grew up in. In the world I knew, vampires stayed in stories, safely stored behind paper and ink but I was wrong; now they lived and breathed among us. What other things have we convinced ourselves are myth? The Loch Ness Monster? Bigfoot?

_Holy shit. Anything is possible now._

But a small part of me clung to disbelief. It was time to confront a Cullen. Maybe Alice or Carlisle. I would hope they would be honest.

"Bella, you ok?" Jacob waved his hand in front of my face and I blinked.

"Yea. Sorry. Just thinking."

"Don't worry, Bella. They are just stories." He sounded unconvincing.

"I'm not worried. trust me. I like the Cullens, believe it or not."

He stood up as the waves were now threatening our peaceful encampment. He offered his hand in a gesture to help me up and I took it, standing and brushing the sand from my pants.

"We'd better head back. " he said gruffly, ignoring my earlier comment. "The tide is coming in and it's getting too cold for you."

I let him drive back to his house; it was originally his truck after all.

"I know you like the Cullens. Just be careful, ok?"

"I always am. I kinda have to be with how much I lose my battle with gravity."

He smirked. "You know what I mean."We pulled into the drive in front of his house."Do you want to stay for awhile longer?" He asked. "We are having a bonfire tonight and it would be awesome if you came."

"Maybe another time." I smiled. I was grateful for the offer, but I needed to try to contact Carlisle. I had too many questions buzzing in my head.

_Hopefully he will talk to me this time._

"No problem. Anytime, Bella. Just give me a call, ok? Can you make it back alright?" He hopped out of the truck and I slid over on the bench seat.

"I'll be fine. Thanks Jake."

"Like I said Bella, call me sometime. It was fun hanging out today." He waved at me as I drove off.

My mind was whirling with the information that had accumulated this past week. Images of wolves and vampires, fangs and blood, and a familiar pair of gentle ochre eyes.

I drove back to Forks in a daze. My mind was so far away from me, I almost didn't see the figure pacing back and forth in the middle of the road. I slammed on my brakes and winced as they squealed to a stop. The figure whirled around.

_Edward? What the fuck?_

I jumped out of the cab of the truck and cautiously approached him. He looked upset and ready to trample something.

"Edward? What the hell are you doing in the middle of the street? Is everything ok?"

"Where were you?" He snapped.

I huffed in disbelief. "What's it to you?"

He stared at me blankly. "Alice... Alice had thought that..."

"Thought that what? How did you know I was here?"

Before he could reply, the trees rustled from the forest beside is and I watched in astonishment as Carlisle burst out of the brush, leaping to a stop.

"Edward, I-" He started before turning to notice me beside him. His face melted into relief and he took a step towards me then stopped, glancing over at Edward. "Bella .Thank the heavens you are ok."

"What is going on? Why are you all so worried about me? What am I missing here?" I urged.

I started to move towards Carlisle, but stopped when I saw his eyes darken and his body tense.

"Bella." Edward hissed. "Get away from him." Pain flashed through Carlisle's eyes.

"Why do you think you can always tell me what to do?" I spun around and yelled at him. "You have no right to try to control me. You don't even know me!" I marched over to Carlisle and looked up him. His eyes were clouded, full of a haunted ache I didn't quite understand, but he pulled his lips unto a small smile and I softened.

_Vampire or not, he still means everything to me._

"Carlisle, is everything ok? I haven't heard from you in awhile." I addressed him directly, deliberately ignoring the sounds of protest coming from behind me.

"Bella..." He said gently. "We were worried about you. But you're here. And you're ok... so now, everything is fine."

"Why wouldn't I be ok? And why did you come leaping from the trees like a monkey with an ass on fire?"

Carlisle looked over my head to Edward, who glared back at him.

"Carlisle, you can't."

"She will find out eventually." He reasoned.

"Stop."

Carlisle took my hand in his and ran his fingers over my knuckles. Edward snorted in disgust.

"Bella, we were worried about you because Alice-"

"Don't do this, Carlisle!" Edward bellowed. He was rigid, his fists clenched. "You know the rules. What about the Volturi? We can't risk the exposure. "

Carlisle lowered my hand, but didn't release it. "I don't care about them."

"Obviously."

"Edward-" Carlisle started.

"No!" Edward snapped. "There is no need to do this. Bella is clearly in one piece. We can leave and be done with this. Forks is no longer an option for us."

I instinctually stepped closer to Carlisle, closing the gap between us and bringing our side close together. His body was a welcome cool and he gently squeezed my hand in response.

"Don't go." I whispered.

Edward glanced at our joined hands. "Well don't you two make a pretty portrait. I'm sure Chief Swan would love to hear about your recent dabble in statutory rape."

Carlisle's hand twitched but he still didn't let go of mine. His throat rumbled like a jungle cat.

_Holy shit, he's literally growling._

"Nothing has happened, Edward." Carlisle's voice was low, his normal tenor deepened with anger.

"I told you before, don't fucking _LIE_ to me." Edward protested. "You're forgetting that I can see the things in your head. Your thoughts disgust me." He turned to point at me."And you, do you have any idea how old he really is?"

Carlisle winced and moved between me and Edward, his grip tightening on my hand.

"Edward." He rumbled. "Calm down." His eyes were focused on Edward, never letting him a pace out of his sight as he stormed in a half circle around us.

"How dare you tell me to calm down?! This is all your fault! You knew what she was to me!" Edward was losing control, his hands tightened into fists and his eyes were dark with steely rage.

"Whoa!" I interrupted. "I'm not your anything, Edward." I tried to step around my golden eyed bodyguard to confront him properly, but Carlisle mirrored my movements exactly, effectively keeping me behind his protective stance.

_Damn he's fast._

"For fucks sake, I'm not going to hurt her." Edward sneered. "You don't have to think the worst of me."

They stared at each other, the silence mounting in tension.

A snarl ripped from Edward's throat and it went straight through to my bones. It was an inhuman sound, a warning to other creatures to retreat and find shelter from the beast it belonged to. Carlisle's growl intensified and he tracked Edward's pacing. He was now practically circling us, his movements growing more and more exaggerated.

"Bella." Carlisle pleaded, his voice broken. "Leave. Now. Get in that blasted truck of yours and go. Please."

"I'm not leaving you." I whispered. I held his hand with both of mine. Edward's eyes were nearly black as he looked at me, the intensity of his fury nearly wilting me in its wake.

"You'd better listen to him, Bella." He hissed. "Go home."

"No." My voice was more confident than I felt.

Carlisle's solid frame took a step in reverse and pressed against me, his arms reaching back to wrap around me and he pulled me closer to him.

"You beautiful, stubborn girl." He whispered.

And then the ground was flying beneath me feet as I was lifted and braced against his back. I clung to him as he ran, watching the world disappear into a smeared, streaky blur. He was far faster than I imagined and I closed my eyes in an attempt to keep myself centered.

"He's faster than me." I heard him say. "He's going to catch up soon."

_Faster? How could he be faster than this?_

The trees rushed around me like snow in a windstorm and I wrapped my arms and legs around Carlisle, hanging onto him in desperation. I nuzzled my face into his shoulders, his warm scent instantly easing my motion sickness. We were slowing now and Carlisle tilted his head towards me.

"He's coming. Stay out of the way."

Just as quick as he had grabbed me, he released and I found myself falling roughly onto a large fern bush.

_Oooph._

I scrambled out of the bush and spotted Carlisle about 20 yards away. He was crouched and focused on the forest around him. He tensed, his muscles flexing under the snug fabric of his grey sweater and he braced himself as a blur from the right struck him with a thud. They flew backwards into a tree, the air peppering with little pops and cracks as the tree succumbed to their force and fell.

A scream echoed through the woods. It may have been me.

They moved fast, too fast for my eyes to see everything. But by their movements I could tell that Edward was on the offense and Carlisle was trying his best to avoid his attacks. They struggled against another tree which collapsed immediately, dominoing a smaller tree beside it. I heard them shouting at each other, but was I too far away to make out any words. Edward lunged at Carlisle again, who quickly leapt over him and away, but Edward was a step faster and whirled around, grabbing Carlisle out of the air and slamming him into the ground. He was on him in an instant, pummeling blow after blow at his head.

I shouted at him to stop, but the wind carried away my desperate plea and, despite Carlisle's warning, I crept closer.

They had created a clearing. Trees, bushes, and underbrush were demolished and Carlisle's cheek was pressed against the earthen floor as Edward held him down. He was pinning him with a knee in the back, a hand on his head, and the other twisting his arm and shoulder back at a strained angle.

It was the position of a hunter before snapping the neck of his prey.

"Damn it, Carlisle! I know you're making this easy on me. Fight back!" Edward shouted.

"No!" I screamed, and ran forward, tripping against the fallen branches.

Carlisle's gaze met mine as I approached and I gasped.

His face looked broken.

Literally, his face had cracked in several places, splitting across the bridge of his nose, up into his forehead, then wrapping around her cheek and jaw. Edward pressed him harder into the forest floor and I watched in horror as his face chipped even more. Carlisle saw me shudder and his eyes fluttered closed.

"Edward, stop!" I yelled. I stood about seven feet from them now, my heart aching to continue forward, to save him, but my brain had rooted my feet to the ground in terror.

Edward ignored me and pulled back further on Carlisle's arm. Carlisle groaned in pain.

"Fight! Fight back!" Edward roared.

_Why wasn't he defending himself?_

I glanced anxiously at him and my heart broke, shattering like the cracks on his face. His eyes were tightly closed and a few chips rolled away like unclaimed tears.

"I don't want to fight you, Edward. It was never my intention to hurt you. I have no reason to now." He murmured.

"Shut the fuck up and fight me!"

"Please. Please, Carlisle. I can't lose you." I pleaded. I could feel the tears burning hot against my eyes and I blinked them away angrily.

_Why had he given up?_

"Please. I love you." I whispered.

His eyes snapped open and bore into mine, an endless pool of liquid gold. I felt like I was drowning again and I let out a sob. There was a loud chunking noise, like rocks crumbling against each other and a reverberating snap as Carlisle wrenched himself up and away from Edward's grasp, throwing him backwards into the trees and leaving him clutching a clenched, twitching arm.

_What. The. Fuck._

Carlisle's arm had broken clean off at the bicep and he was wincing in pain, although no blood spilled from the wound. He snatched his arm from Edward's surprised grasp and snarled, a sound that ripped through the forest, sending dozens of birds fleeing from the surrounding trees. Edward's earlier grumble was a puppy whimper in comparison and it raced through my core, sending me shivering from both fear and pleasure. This man, who is the definition of kindness, saving lives every day with his gentle hands, had a hidden streak of raw animalistic power.

_And he was mine._

Carlisle suddenly swung his broken arm with the grace of a profession baseball player and it collided soundly with the square of Edward's jaw, twisting him up into the air. A quick whipping motion had it crashing back down onto Edward's chest, slamming him firmly downwards.

Edward landed flat on his back with a hard thud, sinking slightly into the ground. A billow of dirt followed him and he let out a muffled moan. The dismembered arm was dropped to the forest floor and landed with a heavy stone thud. Carlisle sank to his knees and brought the fist of his working arm up to his mouth, his inner anguish evident on his face as he stared at Edward. He glanced over at me and I tripped over myself again in a scramble to get to his side.

"Bella." He rasped. "I-"

"Everybody stop!" A shriek sounded out from around us and I watched as Alice appeared in a streaky flash, Jasper only a step behind her. She quickly zipped to stand between Carlisle and Edward, who was starting to sit up, glaring at the rest of us.

Emmett and Rosalie sped in from the right and Emmett let out a low whistle as he surveyed the damage.

"Damn, Alice. You weren't joking. Looks like we got here just in time." He noted.

"We should have gotten here sooner." Rosalie said softly, looking straight at me. "Bella looks terrified."

"She's ok." Jasper assured. "Just in a little bit of shock."

"Carlisle? Do you need help with your arm?" Alice gestured towards his arm, which he had picked up and was it flexing in his hand.

"If you wouldn't mind."

I glanced up at him, noting the defeat in his voice. She stepped up to him, pulling some wrap bandages out of her pocket.

_Man, she is prepared._

Carlisle stood and brought the broken end of his arm up to his mouth, biting it in a few places and then handing it to Alice. She ripped the sleeve from his sweater and pressed his arm gently against its other half. Alice slid it into place and Carlisle hissed as the two pieces joined together. She wrapped the arm in the bandages and turned to me.

"He will heal fast. Don't worry, Bella. These bandages will be pointless after about an hour."

Edward stood up, brushing the dirt from his shirt. His gaze was black as he crossed his arms. "I can hear all the cursing about me. I know how angry you guys are right now. No need to say anything." He looked over to me. "Especially in front of her."

"Too bad, bro." Emmett barked. "We're not through with you yet."

Rosalie smirked. "The things in my head are nice compared to the things I have to say to you."

"But," Alice interrupted, "we will spare Bella from your whining. Carlisle, can you take Bella away from here? She looks like she may need some questions answered. We'll finish up here and head back to the house. We can have our family meeting later."

Carlisle nodded gratefully and turned to me, holding out his hand. I took it eagerly and Edward snorted.

"Just because we are saving the meeting for later doesn't' mean you are off the hook now, Edward. We still have a bone to pick with you." Jasper drawled.

Carlisle frowned and bit his lower lip nervously. "No need to go overboard on him. I'm sure we can work it out."

"Don't worry. We're not going to hurt him." Rosalie said sweetly. Edward winced and rubbed his brow, looking back at Rosalie sharply. "At least not physically."

"Now babe, be nice."Emmett chuckled.

They launched into a loud conversation and Edward stood there, solemnly taking their verbal abuse.

I felt almost bad for him. But not quite considering the state he had put Carlisle in.

_And then I had to go and tell him I loved him. There goes the cat, right out of its bag._

"Are you ok?" I turned to Carlisle, my voice quiet.

He looked at me, his face pulled into complete bewilderment. I squeaked as he swooped me under the knees with his good arm and held me tight with his bandaged one. I closed my eyes and pressed my face against his chest. And then we were running again, leaving the raised voices of the arguing vampires behind us.

* * *

**A/N: Soo? What did you think? I'm most nervous with the way Edward may be coming across. He's not evil, just extremely selfish and surly. AND now Bella knows the biggest secret. How will the talk between Carlisle and Bella go? Well, that will be next. :)**


	11. Chapter 11: Til We're Back at Serenity

**A/N: Here we are again! Thank you so much for continuing to read. It makes me so happy to know that others are enjoying the story I have playing in my head. Carlisle is just so... dreeeeeamy to write about. **

**FANGIRL MOMENT. **

**Ok. So. This chapter is a bit more intense than I hoped, but it gets the point across. Please forgive any silly little typos or errors. I've reread this thing so many times now and I'm sure my brain is just skipping the words at this point. **

**SM Still owns everything. I just like to play dirty with her characters. **

**SEE YOU AT THE END! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Til' We're Back at Serenity**

Carlisle POV

* * *

I shifted Bella tighter against me, relishing the chance to hold her in my arms.

_ It may be my last chance._

We raced through the forest, putting as much distance between us and the mess we left behind. I shuddered slightly, remembering the look on Edward's face after I had hit him into the ground. I only hope he will forgive me for losing my control.

_But Bella... Bella had said that she loves me._

My heart soared at the memory of her warm brown eyes desperately seeking mine, and the whisper from her lips as she confessed the very motivation I needed to keep going. I had originally thought that I had lost her, noting the look of horror on her face as I allowed Edward to vent his frustrations. When I saw her, terrified because of who I was, I was ready for Edward to finish me and claim my life.

But instead, she told me she loves me.

And those few simple words restored in me an urge to live, to fight back, to mark her as my mate and to live out the rest of the days I am allowed on this earth.

_With her, hopefully._

I finally slowed to a stop about a hundred miles away from Forks. Running only fueled by instinct, I found myself at one of my favorite places, a near impossible climb for all humans. It was peaceful, a physical representation of the serenity I have strived to live by. Nature had staked its claim, covering the entire area with a lush green. There was a waterfall that trickled into a small lake before wandering away in a stream, providing the area with the a symphony of water chuckles, drips, and the calls of the amphibians who lived here. It was surrounded by large drooping trees that dipped down to dangle in the water, creating swooping ripples that reached out to hug the banks. It was a place where I have always felt embraced by magic and it was fitting place to have a conversation about monsters, myth, and a supernatural reality.

I was reluctant to let her go, but I set her down gently on one of the flat rocks that wrapped around the bank by the lake. She was shaking slightly; whether from the run or from fear of me, I did not know.

I knelt down in front of her and was relieved when she allowed me to take her hand in mine. "Bella-" My voice broke and I tried again. "Bella. I'm sorry for what you had to see; I'm sorry for the way you had to learn of what and who I really am. I'm sure you are full of questions and I promise to you, I will answer every one of them honestly. I have nothing to hide from you."

Her fingertips on her other hand reached out and gently traced the lines on my face where it had been split. It was almost fully healed now and she watched in awe as they finished closing up, disappearing into the pale skin of my face like a drawing fades from wet sand. It stung, as usual, but the touch of her hand on my face was soothing. She slowly removed her hand and I mourned its loss immediately.

She looked at me, eyes shining with enigmatic tears and she opened and closed her mouth a few times. I gave her as much time as she needed to pose her first question and I braced myself.

"Are you a vampire?" She blurted suddenly.

I blinked in shock.

_How did she know?_

"Yes." I said evenly, trying to keep my bewilderment from my voice.

"Where are your fangs?" She asked, biting her lip and I chuckled in spite of myself.

"There are the vampires of fiction; these are stories filled with fangs, coffins, aversion to sunlight, vampires who are staked through the heart, and those that can turn into bats." I answered slowly. "But there's a difference between these stories and the vampires in our reality, although some of the fables have been adapted from fact. People have misunderstood our mannerisms and created stories in order to explain it."

She released the breath she had been holding and nodded. I continued.

"We don't have fangs . But all of our teeth are extremely sharp and can bite through almost anything."

"What about the rest in the list? She brought her fingers to her lips and bit her nails nervously. "The coffins, and sunlight, and bats stuff?"

I was suddenly very jealous of those fingers.

I smiled at her questions. "Coffins, no- can you imagine how awful that would be? I don't even know how that one got started. As for stakes, there isn't a stake in the world that would be able to break through our skin; it would be reduced to splinters before it was even able to scratch us. And bats? No, I've always found that definition to our character to be amusing. As far as sunlight goes, it doesn't harm us, but we do try to avoid it."

"Why?" she asked.

I brought her hand to my lips, briefly kissing her knuckles. "I'll have to show you sometime."

She swallowed hard and pressed her hand against my cheek, running her thumb over my lips. I closed my eyes, leaning into her touch.

"Do you drink blood?"

I opened my eyes and looked at her, surprised at the curiosity in her eyes.

"Yes."

She took a deep breath, and I could almost see her mind wrapping around the reality of my lifestyle. "Ok. " she breathed.

Before I could even tell her that I only drink the blood of animals, that I have never sated my thirst on the blood of a human, she had accepted me. She moved her hand to cover mine, sandwiching my hand between hers. She wasn't afraid. She wasn't disgusted. She was amazing.

Alice was right. I had seriously underestimated her.

I shook slightly in relief. I didn't have to lose her.

_My Bella._

She must have noticed it when I trembled, as I found her eyes filled with concern.

"Are you ok? Do you still need to heal from the fight?" She asked. "Do you... need blood now? I... I can help if you need." She drew her hair to one side of her neck, an offering of the pulse that beat beneath her ivory skin. "I don't know how it works. This is still so bizarre to think about."

_My wonderful Bella._

"No." I swallowed hard, desperate to press my lips against the delicious scent that thudded heavy with her heart. I longed to trail kisses against the smooth plane of her skin and lose myself in a dizzying euphoria. "I don't drink the blood of humans. Only animals."

"Only animals?" She sounded amused.

"We- my family, are vegetarians of sorts. " I murmured. "We value human life and choose not to drink their blood."

"Why don't all vampires drink animals then?" She asked, smoothing her hair back down .

"Our diet is considered unnatural by most of our kind. And on top of that, it doesn't taste very good. It's definitely not the easiest way to live out a nearly immortal life."

"So you don't want to eat me?" she joked.

_Oh, Bella. I would very much like to eat you. But not the way you're thinking._

"No." I stated firmly, trying to hide my smile. "I would never harm you."

She nodded. "Are all vampires fast and strong?"

"Yes. Some more than others."

"How fast are you?"

I cleared my throat and ducked my head in embarrassment. "Um. We are in Oregon right now."

"Wow... really?"

"Yes. This place, I come here often to think. It is one of my favorite places and, because of its difficult location, no humans ever come here."

She stood suddenly and looked around. The wind chose that exact moment to flutter through the willow branches, sending wide ripples through the water. She took in the long grass that surrounded the lake, the wispy white flowers that danced , and the song that rippled through the area as it swayed in the breeze.

"It's beautiful." She whispered.

_Not nearly as beautiful as you. _She ran her small hand through her windblown tresses and stared at me, a small smile forming in the corner of her mouth. She started pacing, her sneakers flattening a small path in the grass. I took a turn sitting on the rock instead, trying to ease her nerves with a natural posture.

"What happened, back there with Edward?"

"He doesn't agree with me being with you."

She stopped and her brow furrowed slightly in irritation. "Why? Because of our age? Or because I'm human?"

"The age difference is meaningless. Technically, I am only 23, but I just play a much older role."

She looked at me. "How long have you been playing this... older role?"

I winced and ducked my head. "A little over 300 years."

She snorted and resumed her pacing. "And here I thought us being a over a decade apart was our biggest hurdle. Instead it's 'Hey dad, mom. I'd like you to meet my... Carlisle. He's a 300 year old vampire, but it's ok because he just eats animals.'" She scoffed to herself, bemused.

I lowered my head, staring at the grass. She was right; I was being unfair to her. But I don't think I could bear to abandon her now.

She stopped and walked over to me. "So it's because I'm human then?" She continued. "Why Edward fought you?"

"Not entirely. He fought me because he too is drawn to you. He was curious of you and it made him angry when he learned that I had also shown interest. It didn't help that my separation from Esme was also timed around your arrival in our lives. "

"Did she leave because of me?" she whispered.

"No." I replied, my tone sharper than I intended. "She left because after 80 years of being married, we weren't able to grow and move past regrets. She left because... we, Esme and I, we weren't truly mates."

"Like, soul mates?" She questioned. "You mentioned that before."

"Yes. I believe I did."

"You really do believe in that, don't you?" she asked, running her hands through her hair again to push the strands out of her face.

I chuckled."When you have lived as long as I have, finding someone that makes you feel as alive and as... human... as you have made me feel these past few weeks, is nothing short of a miracle. It is something to be treasured and revered. I spent a lot of time trying to decide if it was right to do this to you, to saddle you with the burdens that come with being involved with someone like me. While I was thinking, I may have distanced myself from you, made you feel ignored and for that I am sorry." I looked at her wistfully before continuing. "But in the end, nothing could keep me from you. I truly feel we were meant to meet each other, Bella."

She chewed her lip and it whitened under her teeth. It popped as she released it and swelled with blood.

_Fuck._

"And Edward," she continued, "he doesn't see that?"

I sighed. "Edward feels something for you as well, although his is based on your blood, and not... you."

"So he wants my blood? He wants me as a little Bella happy meal?"

I tried not to chuckle. "That's a rather uncouth way of saying it, but yes. However, he has shown an immense amount of control. It's not a common accomplishment when a vampire encounters a human whose blood sings as much as yours does for Edward."

Her eyes flashed. "Edward has no right. He is not allowed to take any privileges with me. He's been such a pompous jerk with me, and then to do this? To try to kill the man I- I... I wanna wring his neck."

"A physically impossible feat, I assure you. " I replied, smirking a little.

She walked closer and stood in front of me, her very proximity making my body respond. Her arms slid around my shoulders and I shivered, resisting my need to shred her clothing and make a Bella shaped indent in the grass. I swallowed and allowed my fingers to skim up the side of her leg.

"Well, " she sighed, "someone needs to tell Edward to back off. I'm yours. Completely."

"Still? Even after everything you have just learned?" I looked up at her, watching the breeze lift locks of her hair in an alluring dance.

"You can't get rid of me that easy." she whispered and bent forward slightly.

My trousers tightened significantly as our noses met, the spark of her touch electrifying my web of nerves in a single shudder. Her forehead leaned against mine, our lips a half second away from each other and the little sigh that escaped hers was as warm and sweet I as remembered. I gripped the denim of her jeans tighter, threatening the very structure of the fabric under my grasp as she pressed her lips against mine. I was putty under her touch. The anxiety, the self doubt, and the wavering control I had struggled with all week vanished, without a trace of their existence, with her in my arms.

She balanced me, grounded me, completed me.

_She is my mate._

"Did you... did you mean what you said earlier?" My voice was deepened with the influence of my desire for her.

"Yes," she murmured against my ear, pressing a kiss on the smooth skin beside it, "I'm yours."

"Before then. " I slid my hands slowly from her knees to her hips and then back down again, my palms memorizing every curve. "While I was fighting with Edward."

She stilled in my arms for a moment and I could feel the beat of her heart increase and her face flush as she blushed.

"Yes."

I growled and deepened the kiss, raising one of my hands to curl around her neck and pull her closer to me. She met me with equal fervor, climbing into my lap and straddling me. I gasped as the heat of her core brushed against my cock. She was so fucking warm. I could imagine how good it would feel to be sheathed in her heat and I groaned.

"What have you done to me, Bella Swan?" I moaned against her collarbone as I trailed a line of kisses down her neck and wrapped my arms around her. She sighed blissfully against me and ran her fingers through my hair, scratching my skin slightly with her nails. I growled and her blood thudded faster through her veins, overwhelming me in a dizzying cloud of her heady scent. My hands gripped her back with careful force in a desperate attempt to pull her even closer. My mouth made its way back to hers and her tongue pressed gently against my lips, a soft request for entrance.

_How could I deny her anything?_

I let my lips part and the warm exquisite taste of her flood my senses. She let out a faint whimper and my cock twitched against her.

_Fuck. I could take her right now._

Her lips moved hungrily against mine, her body finding a rhythm as she ground the plea of her own need into my solid frame. My hands moved down to the curve of her hips, pressing her tighter against my aching length and she gasped as we connected there, again and again as she moved. I growled again, a deep rumble in my chest as I moved my mouth to her neck, relishing in the pureness of her scent.

I gently sucked her pulsing skin into my mouth, causing the blood beneath to bloom right under the surface and I swallowed back the venom that flooded against my teeth. Never has my control been tested so much as now, having her moving against me; I needed her, I needed to claim her, to mark her as my mate. I fought my instincts, nuzzling against the reddened mark I had left instead.

_Mine._

"Carlisle..." she groaned. I responded by claiming her mouth with my own again. Her movements were growing erratic as her body urged her towards its one primal goal of completion. My resolve was crumbling with this pliant, mesmerizing girl in my arms, grinding against the root of me, and panting sweetly in my ear.

"Bella." I rasped back. I allowed my hands to travel from her hips, teasing the hemline of her shirt.

"Please." she whispered. My fingers slipped beneath the fabric and I almost lost myself at the warm velvet of her skin. I skimmed my fingertips up her torso, pulling her shirt up slightly as I explored the wonderland beneath my hands.

_She is magnificent._

Her breath grew ragged as I continued to caress her, seeking further upwards. She suddenly slammed her hips against me as my thumbs reached the curve of her bra and she whimpered in frustration. I grunted at the unexpected contact of her center against mine, bringing an almost blinding ache to my cock. The remainder of my control crumbled like a house of cards; she was the hurricane that spun me to fly apart in a haze.

Before she could blink, I had her in the grass, deftly pinning her to the ground with the weight of my body. I was careful not to crush her as she pressed desperate kisses into my neck. This time it was me, rubbing into the core of her warmth, helping her achieve the one thing she most desperately craved. I groaned at the friction of the contact. It was marvelous, it was splendor, it was heaven.

_This heaven is named Bella. And she is mine._

She arched her back, letting her hands roam over the hard musculature of my chest, and she pressed herself closer still. Her breathing quickened and I sensed the rapid thundering of her blood through her body, flushing her face, her arms, and the still exposed skin of her chest with color. The blush of her skin was the most gorgeous color, and I could nearly, very nearly, come from the warmth that radiated from it. I pressed a little harder into her, right where she needed, and she exploded.

_Fucking hell._

She was enchanting; her eyes clenching shut as her body shuddered, her fingertips digging into the fabric of my sweater and her throat making a symphony of slight gasps as she came apart beneath me. I hissed air through my teeth in a sharp breath, holding it in to keep myself from coming in my pants like a randy boy. I stilled my movements, waiting for her to return to me. I knew then, there was no greater thing in my life then giving this delicate, perfect girl pleasure. My cock still pulsed with venom and ached for release, but this moment was not mine.

_It was hers. Everything I have belongs to her._

I settled for pressing soft, sweet kisses against her cheeks, her forehead and jaw as her breathing returned, although its rhythm still remained uneven.

She reddened as she met my eyes, turning from me in embarrassment.

"No, no." I begged. "Don't hide from me, _mia bella anima_." She gazed at me, her face radiant with her pleasure and she smiled.

"That-" she whispered, "that was... incredible."

I ducked my head and smiled.

_Anything. Anything in the world is yours._

She leaned up and pressed a sweet kiss against my lips, smiling as she pulled away. Her toes curled as she stretched slightly, and she unavoidably bumped into my cock, which had only gotten harder at watching her succumb to her little sweet death. Her eyes widened and I pulled away slightly.

"What about... you?" she asked, her hands leaving my shoulders to start to reach for me. I shook my head and leaned back, sitting back on the grass and willing my erection to dissipate.

"Don't worry about me this time. It was magnanimous, just to watch you. To know that I helped you achieve such pleasure is enough for me."

"For now?" she questioned, sitting up to join me.

"For now." I confirmed. "Believe me, I would very much like to finish with you someday." I smirked at her.

_Inside you would be even better._

She blushed and reached out to stroke my arm, still wrapped in its bandages. "Are you ok? I mean, it was kinda disconcerting to see your arm ripped off."

"I'm just fine." I laughed. I unwrapped the bandage and flexed my arm and she ran her fingers over the seam. A small silver white line wound around my bicep where I had been pieced back together. She gently traced the jagged edges with her fingertips and I tried not to groan under her touch.

After what had happened on the grass, I was like a live wire.

"Whoa." She whispered. "Did it hurt?"

I nodded. "But only for a little bit. This arm will be weaker for a little bit, but then it will be back to normal." I grinned at her as she snorted. "Well, as back to normal as things can be, I guess."

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I grumbled, sliding it out to check it.

***Carlisle. I can see Bella again! And now that she has been thoroughly ravished, you may want to drop her off at home. We are back at the house waiting for you! :)***

_Damn it Alice._

I sighed and stood slowly, holding my hand out to Bella to help her up. "I know you still have more questions; I have some for you as well, but I need to take you home for now. Can I visit you later?"

She bit her lip. I wanted to nibble it.

"I'm pretty sure Charlie will be home tonight." she said, sighing in disappointment.

"He won't know I was even there."

"How?" She raised her eyebrow at me.

I leaned forward, my breath soft against her ear. "Just leave your window open."

She looked at me and smirked, her eyebrow pulling higher on her face. "I'll be waiting."

"Can I run you home now?" I asked, pulling her close against me, running my hands up and down her back.

"You mean that literally, right?" she sighed. "There's no vampire flight abilities?"

I shook my head. "Wouldn't that be nice?" I grinned and grabbed her, hoisting her legs to wrap around my waist. She curled her arms over my shoulders and nuzzled into my neck. I could feel her heart beat against my skin and held her close, one arm around her back and shoulders and the other wrapped around her hips. I tried to ignore the intimacy of our position but failed miserably, feeling her body rest against me again.

"Can we come back here, back to this very spot sometime?" She asked shyly.

"Of course." I kissed the top of her head and sped off though the forest.

I could see that Emmett had already brought her truck home and as we neared her driveway I slowed to a stop and gently set her feet back on the ground. I took advantage and held her close against me as she got her bearings.

"Promise me you'll come later tonight?" She murmured as we stood, still hidden in the tree line of the forest. I bent down and brushed my lips against hers, careful not to deepen the kiss as I still ached with my need for her.

"Absolutely. You have my word."

She nodded and pressed the faintest of kisses against my lips, my nose, my chin. "I'll be waiting." She turned to head into her house and I took the opportunity to disappear back into the trees. If she had turned back around, if I had been caught in her warm gaze for but a moment, I wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to gather her in my arms once again. I headed back into the forest, running back to my home.

The increasing distance between me and mate was an almost tangible ache.

...

The living room was full when I arrived. Edward was seated in the middle of the couch, his arms crossed over themselves and his usual scowl set in his face. His clothes were still dirty and his jaw looked like it had taken a good pop and had been recently set back in place. Emmett and Rosalie had chosen to sit on either side of him, their bodies angled towards each other and essentially blocking Edward in. Jasper sat in the armchair that Alice had recently replaced, and was bent over with his elbows on his knees while Alice perched on the top of the back of his seat. Jasper was glaring across the room at Edward. I detected hostility in Jasper's emotional influence and the room seemed to crackle with tension.

"Jasper." I could hear the strain in my voice. "Can you be a little more helpful, please?"

"Sorry. I didn't realize." He mumbled guiltily. The family visibly relaxed as Jasper traded the emotions of hostility to ones of a more calm and peaceful nature.

"Come sit down, Carlisle." Alice piped in from Jasper's chair. I raised my eyebrows at her, acknowledging the bossy tone in her voice, but complied. We really had no need to sit; we never feel fatigued or get tired. But after years of conforming to human habits, the activity had become normal and I honestly felt it made the atmosphere feel more relaxed. I took a seat by the window, facing the center of the room.

"How's your arm?" Emmett gestured from the couch.

"It is fine, thank you. The scarring will be minimal. It was a clean break." I answered. Edward looked over at me and I didn't need Jasper's guilt to read his emotions. I could sense both his remorse and his emotional injury from my betrayal.

"Now," Emmett's voice was gruff and commanding and Rosalie smirked. "We are going to have a civilized conversation. No growling, hissing, snarling, or biting. All furniture and limbs stay intact. Everyone agreed?"

We all nodded.

"Good." Emmett smacked his fist into his hand. "Let's get this over with."

I folded my hands in my lap, trying to keep my mind as empty as I could. I didn't want my thoughts to provoke Edward, who was already probably overwhelmed with the situation.

"We need to leave Forks." Edward stated bluntly. "We can go anywhere else, but Forks has become too," he cast a hasty glare in my direction, "involved for us to remain safe here."

"No!" Both Alice and I spoke at once.

Edward stared at us and I could see Jasper struggle with the hositilty of Edward's emotions.

"I'm not leaving her." I said firmly. "As much as it might make things difficult, she has come to mean a great deal to me."

"We need to get used to the idea of Bella as a member of our family." Alice speculated. "It's too late now to turn back or run away."

Edward began to growl slightly and Emmett elbowed him sharply in the chest. Edward winced and rubbed his rib.

"Hey, sorry bro. I said no growling." he warned.

"I am sorry too, Edward." I started. "For the hurt I caused. It was not my intention."

"Of all the people, " he replied in a broken voice, "it had to be her. " He turned his steely gaze at me and I met his gaze until he looked away.

"It was not a choice I sought out. I didn't choose her on the basis that she is your blood singer. I tried to deny her, deny myself of the feelings that had began to surface between us. But-" I paused and he looked up at me again. "-we are fated."

Edward sneered. "Whatever excuse you have created to try to reason this atrocity away won't work with me."

"It's not an excuse." Jasper broke in. "Their mutual feeling have been overwhelming. Stand up," he ordered, "I can show you."

Edward rose from the couch and Jasper joined him in the middle of the room. Jasper placed his hand on Edward's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Edward suddenly crumpled to the floor, cradling his head in his hands as Jasper buried him under the emotions that Bella and I had plagued Jasper's empathic fields with during the few brief weeks since we had met. Jasper returned to his chair, Alice moving to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

"How- how can you bear it?" Edward rasped, still kneeling unmoving on the floor.

"I've lived a long time on this earth, son." I replied gently. "I've learned an immense amount of control, but I've never felt anything like what I feel with Bella."

He looked at me, his face twisted in anguish. "Not even with Esme?"

I looked at him solemnly. "I loved Esme; I loved her very much. She was a wonderful friend, partner, and companion. But... I didn't feel this way about her, or anyone else for that matter, until I met Bella. I do feel awful that it had to be her. I know she was special to you. But it's not something that I can, not something that I will, change."

Edward cringed abruptly and looked up at Jasper, whose gaze was still focused on him in concentrated intensity.

"Enough," Edward begged, "Please, Jasper. Stop." Edward's shoulders sagged in relief as Jasper withdrew his influence.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." Edward murmured. "For fighting. For your arm."

"You always have my forgiveness." I hoped my voice conveyed my sincerity.

Edward glanced back over at Jasper. "Is it really always that intense?" he asked.

"Yes." My voice cracked as I answered. I couldn't help it, and my mind slipped away from my carefully controlled mental grasp. I thought of her and her soft human skin, a warm delicacy that I yearned to trace a path on with my tongue. I thought of her scent, hidden beneath the scented soap, a clean floral whiff of heaven. I remembered her shuddering beneath me as she gasped in her achieved pleasure. I felt my body respond in its normal manner as I recalled all my favorite images of her, every detail in perfect clarity.

"Fuck." I heard Edward say.

I thought about the feelings of her hair threaded through my fingers, the whisper of her kiss against my skin, the warmth of her arms around me after her acceptance of who I really was.

"Wait." Edward nearly shouted."Go back."

_Go back?_

I retraced my thoughts and when I got to the one of Bella in my arms, straddling me and grasping me into her kiss as we sat my secret mountain spot, he spoke up again.

"That one."

I couldn't help but linger at my most recent memory. Her hair dancing in the breeze and the soft tickle of her fingers through my hair as she lavished my lips with her kiss. The feel of the denim of her jeans twisting in my fingers as they withheld the urge to tug them down. The shimmer of affection in her eyes as she accepted me, loved me, despite my existence in an immortal word. I heard Edward gasp slightly as he saw the memories play in my mind.

"She already knows what we are and she accepts us?" He sounded bewildered.

I nodded.

Edward was over by the window in a flash, running his hand through his bronze hair, worry written all over his face. He started pacing.

"You know she can't know about us. The Volturi-"

"The Volturi can wait." Alice interrupted. "There are other matters more important."

"Like what?" Edward snapped."The Volturi can and will dispense of us all if they find out about her exposure to our life."

"Whoa, reign it in, bro." Emmett commented from the couch. "The Volturi still haven't even met us," he gestured to Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and himself, "and we've been with the family for decades."

Edward relaxed slightly and ran his hand through his hair again. Rosalie turned to look at Alice.

"What is more important right now?" she asked, slipping her hand through Emmett's.

Alice glanced over at me, her wide golden eyes were guarded with secrets.

"Keeping Carlisle balanced." she said softly.

"I'm fine now." I held out my hands and smiled.

"Are you sure?" Rosalie questioned. "You've been acting weird all week."

"I have felt a little off this week, " I admitted. "But I promise, I'm better now."

"He's telling the truth." Jasper noted. "His emotions are at the same peaceful state we are used to. Unless he's thinking about Bella, of course, but that goes without saying."

"Hmm." Alice drummed her fingers against her chin. "Carlisle, did you do anything this week outside your normal patterns?"

I tried to think back, replaying over my day to day schedule, thinking over the details over the past week.

"It's because of Bella, isn't it?" Edward rasped from the corner. We all turned to look at him.

"What makes you say that?" Alice asked.

"He's been distancing himself from her, mentally at least. She has texted him a few times, but he has ignored them, making a conscious decision to avoid her. I've heard it here and there, a constant struggle to keep himself from her and her from his thoughts."

I stared at my oldest son. It was hard to believe that only a few hours ago he was furious enough with me to be a twitch away from removing my head from the rest of me. Now, he was trying to help figure out my issues with the girl he had originally chosen for himself.

And he was right. I had been pulling away from Bella. It was difficult to keep her out of my thoughts, difficult to keep myself from tracking the trail of her scent and following it to find her. Difficult to keep myself from wanting to pull her into my arms and drag my lips across every flawless expanse of her skin.

Edward cleared his throat angrily.

_Fuck. Oops._

"Sorry, Edward." I muttered guiltily. " I really am trying."

"I know." His eyes flashed at me. "So am I."

"I think though, that Edward may have a point." Alice continued. "Carlisle, you were with Bella earlier today. How do you feel right now?"

"Relieved." I said immediately. I thought back slowly, comparing my emotional state from where it was this morning. I had gone from moody and unfocused to exuberantly happy, controlled, and now my head was clear enough to see how much of an idiot I have been. "And complete. Desperately happy, even."

"Much different from this morning, then?" she asked.

"Hundred eighty degrees." I answered.

Alice nodded, casting her eyes downward as she thought. Edward hissed.

"What are you hiding from me, Alice?" He blurted.

She looked over at him guilty and his eyes widened as he took in her thoughts.

"No." His voice was barely audible to even out superior ears. He turned at looked at me again, his eyes pooling with a broken haunted expression. "We can fix this, Alice. He doesn't have to end up like that. Carlisle?" He turned to me suddenly and I looked up at him in surprise.

_What the hell did Alice see?_

"Can you stop trying to distance her and just allow yourself to be with her. Be with her in some way, in any way. Take her, claim her and be mated, for fuck's sake. You nearly did today anyway." He scoffed.

"Score!" Emmett guffawed from the couch and Rosalie backhanded him. I stared at Edward blankly, astounded at his radical change in opinion. First he wants me to have nothing to do with her, now he's practically begging me to bond with her in the most intimate way?

_WHAT THE HELL DID ALICE SEE?_

I turned to glare at her and she shook her head at me.

"Just be with her so this internal struggle can cease." Edward continued. "I understand better now, after Jasper. She is the push to your pull, the yin to your yang, the spindle to your top. You need her now to stay centered and to not spiral out of control. If you just do it, and make her yours, it will be easier to bear."

I shook my head. "I can't. Not yet."

Edward's jaw fell open slightly. "Why the hell not?"

"He's not going to claim her until she's of eighteen. An adult." Emmett remarked.

"Seriously?!" Edward started pacing again. "This is ridiculous! This would have been so much easier if it... if it had been... " He sank back down on the couch and put his head in his hands. "If it had been me."

"This doesn't solve the problem." Rosalie cut in from the couch.

"There is no problem." I said weakly.

"Alice doesn't seem to think so." Edward's voice was laced with bitterness. He lifted his head to look at me, his eyes glinting with malice. "In fact-"

"Don't!" Alice shrieked. She shot him a scathing look and I could almost hear the mental berating she was aiming at him.

"Fine." He huffed in frustration and Alice glared at him.

"How about we try something else?" Rosalie's voice broke through the mounting tension.

"Like what?" Jasper asked. His jaw was clenched tightly and I knew the atmosphere in the room was beginning to become difficult for him to be in.

Rosalie looked at me and sighed. "I still can't believe I'm actually supporting this, but why not just spend time with her? She seems to put you back at ease, restore your balance as you say, just by being with you. So... here's a thought, just BE with her."

_To spend time with her sounds like heaven._

I felt myself relax with a shudder.

"Will it work?" Edward looked pointedly at Alice. Her gaze clouded as she scanned her visions and a small smile pulled her lips.

"Yes. " she whispered. "It will." Her small frame sagged with relief and Jasper gathered her in his arms.

_How long has she been holding this one to herself? What had she seen? What was so bad that it caused me to be a 'problem'? Was it something I did? Did I end up hurting someone_?

I glanced over at Edward, hoping he was listening in on my thoughts. He was staring back at me and answered all my questions with a slight nod.

_Will you tell me later?_ I directed my thoughts at him. He shrugged.

It wasn't often my family kept secrets and it was a rather unsettling feeling. With a prescient, a telepath, and an empath in the family, privacy was practically unheard of.

"Carlisle?" Alice called out from Jasper's embrace, although she was glaring at Edward again. "Would you be able to do it?"

"Yes." I answered. "But I may need help. She is still governed by her age with her school requirements and her father's limitations."

Alice nodded and turned her head to look at me. "We can help. Her father should be ok with her coming over every so often. I have a feeling he will warm up to me pretty easy." She grinned. "Are you still visiting Bella later tonight through her window?"

_See? No privacy._

Emmett chuckled and Rosalie raised an eyebrow at me.

"I still plan on it, yes. " I admitted sheepishly. "Her and I still have much to discuss. She knows about us, what we are and what we eat. She knows of our immortal life on a very basic level."

The room stood mute for several moments before Rosalie's soft voice broke through the silence.

"Does she really accept us, Carlisle? Does she really accept who we are?"

I couldn't stop the smile that crept across my face and I ducked my head in embarrassment of my obvious reaction to Bella.

_My amazing, beautiful girl._

"Yes." I answered. "At the moment she is very open minded and gracious about us. It is surprising, unexpected, but refreshing."

"Well, " Rosalie replied. "As long as Jasper and Edward keep their teeth to themselves, this may end up being alright in the end."

Edward snorted in derision while everyone else chuckled.

"Not just ok, " Alice beamed. "It may end up being fantastic!"

"Ok!" Emmett leaped from the couch. "Everyone's feelings all fuzzy again? Great!" He ignored Edward, who had rolled his eyes. "Now, who's up for some Xbox? I think someone's ass is grass in Halo."

Jasper snickered as Alice hopped off his lap and he joined Emmett in the game room. "You suck just as much being the Master Chief as you do playing Toad in Mario Kart." he chided.

"Actions speak louder than word!" Emmett boomed.

Rosalie took off to join them and Edward headed upstairs, obviously needing some quiet for his mind. Alice came to join me.

"Thank you , Alice. Thanks for always being there." I genuinely appreciated her friendship. I would have been shipwrecked without her these past few weeks.

"You're gonna thank me more later. " She grinned and winked at me. "C'mon. I have an outfit picked for you and then you, " she poked me square in the chest, "have an absolutely gorgeous dinner date to surprise!"

_Oh dear Lord._

* * *

**A/N: Thanks again guys! I love you all so much. (insert obligatory 'please review for reason Carlisle here). **

**I appreciate all your feedback and responses I honestly do read them all, just replying is sometimes something that I have to work at. Life can surely take you away from the things you want to do. lol. **

**I hope to see you in the next chapter! Also, can someone give me feedback on chapter length? Are they too long?**

**XXX**


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